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Voyager There's coffee in this forum!

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Old July 11 2013, 09:32 PM   #1
Ln X
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VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

As promised here is the next contest!



BirdInJetstream wrote: View Post

Tuvok: "Fascinating! I already tried 47 different algorithms to solve the problem. None of them were successful. How did you do it?"
Janeway: "See that little switch? I had Torres install it before your shift started. Press it 5 seconds, shut down, reboot..."
LeadHead wrote: View Post


Seven: Computations are complete, Captain. It is mathematically impossible that Ensign Kim will ever make Lieutenant.
JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


TOM: You can never tell Sam that Naomi broke into my liquor stash.
SEVEN: Where are you taking her?
TOM: To sickbay. After the Doctor cures her hangover I need you to erase his memory of it.
SEVEN: I'm not sure you've thought all this through.
FFunctionalData wrote: View Post

Seven of 9: We are experiencing a malfunction in the Warp Core

B'Elanna: I have run every diagnostic and can not find the problem

Chakotay: Captain I believe if I go on a vision quest i can find out what is wrong let me get my..

Captain Janeway: Chakotay not every problem we encounter can be solved with a vision quest.
Triskelion wrote: View Post


Paris: How do you make a Bajoran stew?
Kims: I don't know?
Paris: Tell her the Occupation was a myth.
And the special award...



ncc71877 wrote: View Post


Seven: "With all respect to the Commander, I don't see how getting high and trying to talk to an imaginary goat will solve anything."

Congratulations to the winners: old-timers, newcomers and captioning veterans!


I was high on oven-cleaner when I picked these pictures...











Have fun!
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Caption contest: DS9
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Old July 11 2013, 09:39 PM   #2
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements


Neelix: You know I came back to this store thinking of nothing but your beautiful-
Talli: Melons?


Tuvok: May I ask how we can trust the supposedly cartographic maps from a holographic projection of a man from the 16th century?



What really pissed off Chakotay was noticing that this alien was wearing his best uniform...


Doctor: How's your sex life?
Seven: No comment.


Da Vinci: What is that yellow stuff?
Janeway: Duct tape! One of the most practical things in the universe!
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Old July 11 2013, 09:57 PM   #3
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements


"And here is where I designed a warp sleigh capable of bringing your ship fifty tons of coal."




"You people let who become the ship's cook?!"
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Old July 12 2013, 04:06 AM   #4
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



Neelix: It's perfect. This fruit looks really healthy and really disgusting.
Talli: You really like messing with your crew don't you?



Tuvok: You made yourself an apprentice to Leonardo Davinci?
Janeway: He's a brilliant inventor.
Tuvok: Whatever you say, Mary Sue.



Alien: Thank you for the offer of this manservant, but he's a little dull. I can't keep him around the house.

;;'

Doctor: Your hormone levels suggest physical attraction to multiple male members of the crew.
Seven: That's none of your business.
Doctor: May I suggest you practice on an artificial male? I'd be happy to volunteer.



Davinci: There's something that's been bugging me. In the 15th century, women should not be educated enough to help me build a flying machine. I should not accept you as an assistant.
Janeway: It's my fantasy, I can make you act however I want.
Davinci: ...So you only like me as part of some wish fulfillment thing of yours.
Janeway: Just shut up and be Davinci.
Davinci: Yes maam.
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Old July 12 2013, 04:13 AM   #5
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

TFTW Ln X!


Talli: Want me to teach you how tell a fresh melon just by squeezing it?

Neelix: No thanks, I have a tricorder.




Tuvok: Captain, it has been three days and he still has not said that he 'must draw you.' May I suggest you slut it up.




Alien: Sorry, the role of Chewy has already been filled.




Seven: Doctor if you try any harder not to look at my breasts you'll short circuit.




DaVinci: Yes yes, flying machine, blah blah blah. Come take a look at my next marvel of the modern age: the hydrostatic tight turning yard tractor with 46 inch cutting deck and optional mulcher.
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Old July 12 2013, 04:24 AM   #6
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



TUVOK: Why is Gimli here?
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Old July 14 2013, 05:34 AM   #7
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



Alien: No offense, but - what's the deal with your Captain's breath?
Chakotay: We do not speak of this.
Paris: We just surround her with holograms whenever possible.
Alien: This...coffee. Is it some kind of weaponized gas vapor?
Paris: No, but you might be interested in Neelix's La Fiesta Burrito Night.
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Old July 14 2013, 06:23 AM   #8
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements


It was the first time she had ever been complemented on her beautiful
orange melons and realized he actually meant the fruit.
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Old July 14 2013, 06:30 AM   #9
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



EMH: Ah here's your problem. Your cortical node is full of porn algorithms.
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Old July 17 2013, 05:27 PM   #10
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Triskelion, I love your captions.
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Old July 18 2013, 05:45 AM   #11
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Very glad to hear it Captain Kathryn!
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Old July 18 2013, 05:48 AM   #12
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



SEVEN: Are you going to complete the scan?

EMH: Sorry, I was distracted by my reflection on the tricorder screen.
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Old July 24 2013, 01:36 AM   #13
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements



Robbie: You are gonna be the redshirt of the episode..

Nobody: But you both are wearing red too

Beltran: Cute, isn't he. I love those guest actors, Robbie
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Old July 24 2013, 04:48 AM   #14
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements


DaVinci: Essatto Catarina!
Janeway: Maraviglioso!
Tuvok: Good work Captain.
DaVinci: Noob.


Paris: ...then he drank B'elanna hidden bottle of bloodwine.
Alien: I'm your captain and I order you to PISS OFF!


Doctor: So Kes says, 'It's me or the Borg.'
Seven: What did you do?
Doctor: I destabilized her at the subatomic level.


Janeway: I just can't understand how someone of your era can come up with the things you do.
DaVinci: I don't expect you to, you're a woman.

Last edited by bbjeg; July 24 2013 at 05:12 AM.
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Old July 29 2013, 12:02 AM   #15
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements


Neelix: May I squeeze your melons?
Talli: Sorry, I'm not into furries.
Neelix: Dammit.


Tuvok: Is this bearded hologram what humans call a "Santa Claus"?
Da Vinci: I can hear you, ear-boy!
Janeway: Tuvok! This is Leonardo Da Vinci, a great artist and inventor from the 15th Century.
Tuvok: Then it is logical to assume that his knowledge is extremely outdated.
Da Vinci: I know someone who's getting coal this Christmas...
Tuvok: Computer, delete the Santa.


Alien: Ok, ok...you can have the uniform back on one condition. I get to keep this man as my personal slave.
Chakotay: Errrr...I don't think...
Tom: It's a deal!


Seven: Doctor, how is staring at my breasts relevant to conducting your scans?
EMH: Your breasts are always relevant.


Janeway: My security officer thinks you're a Santa.
Da Vinci: Ho, ho, ho! I mean...no...that's absurd.
Janeway: This plane sucks.
Da Vinci: Have no fear, Caterina! My magical flying reindeer will arrive within the hour.
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Last edited by Captain Kathryn; July 29 2013 at 12:21 AM.
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