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Old June 26 2013, 01:13 AM   #91
Locutus of Bored
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

^ Yep. My local CVS does it too. You can tell the pharmacy techs and cashiers feel awkward about it sometimes when dealing with a new customer, but they're always polite anyway.

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
I must say, I am happy I do not live around some of you folks. Respect and manners should be the first option, yet I see that is not true with many posters. If I met you IRL, I would offer you respect and treat you with good manners... whether I receive the same is up to you.
So, just to clarify, your idea of respect and manners is to say you wouldn't want to live around us, tell us we lack respect and manners, completely ignore what we actually said, then post a gross misrepresentation of what we allegedly said that's clearly based off the preconceptions you had built up in your head rather than anything mentioned in the thread?

If that's your idea of respect and manners then you're right, I'm glad we don't have it, because it's incredibly rude, dismissive, and condescending. It's about in line with Carcazoid's definition and display of "manners" back on the first page.

If I met you IRL, I would offer you respect and treat you with good manners... whether I receive the same is up to you.
What on Earth were you reading instead of our posts that gave you the impression that anyone was disagreeing with this? I said a variation on the bolded part myself three times, and others said the same as well. It's not like I was exactly being subtle with my point, since I kept repeating it like a mantra:

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
Just because someone has lived longer than someone else doesn't make them a better person or more worthy of the respect you should give equally to everyone.

I do enjoy the opportunity to learn from those older than myself, because they have generally experienced more. There are also plenty of young people who have lived fascinating lives and experienced some amazing things, so their input is not lesser by default. It depends on the person.
Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
Lived longer; yes. Experienced much more; usually, but not always. There are thirty year olds who have lived more harrowing, dramatic, fulfilling, varied, successful, traumatic, romantic, well-traveled lives than some seventy year olds. It depends on the person, and you have little or no way of knowing what their lives have been on introduction to a stranger alone. So again, you're essentially asking someone for additional respect simply by having lived longer, not by the content of your character.

Maybe if people didn't just automatically assume that that flow of wisdom should only go one way because older people are better by default they'd learn a thing or two from (some) younger people about tolerance for others, and we'd hopefully live in a better world. Now, that's not a blanket statement either way. There are young people who are rigid and intolerant, and old people who are open minded and tolerant. Again, it depends on the person, which is why you shouldn't assume.

You should listen to and respect anyone in equal measure until they give you a reason to do otherwise.
So, maybe you should take another run at this one, and actually listen to what people are saying this time instead of just making assumptions, which I think I might have mentioned before as well.
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Last edited by Locutus of Bored; June 26 2013 at 01:23 AM.
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Old June 26 2013, 03:24 AM   #92
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
^ Yep. My local CVS does it too. You can tell the pharmacy techs and cashiers feel awkward about it sometimes when dealing with a new customer, but they're always polite anyway.
Yep, it's one of the corporate metrics. One of the questions on the periodic receipt surveys is whether or not you were addressed by name. If you indicate you were not, that's a point off for the pharmacy on the survey score.

(And for anyone who might be curious: Anything less than a 5 for a given question is counted as a 0.)
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Old June 26 2013, 04:59 AM   #93
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

I used to go to this restaurant for take out about once a week, and the guy at the counter would always call me by my first name multiple times per visit: "Hi Dave", "What can I get you Dave", "That'll be $7.50 Dave", "Here's your food Dave", "Have a good day, Dave".
I always paid cash, but since I was at work I had my work ID clipped to my belt loop and he saw it once and just capitalized on it. Extremely annoying.
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Old June 26 2013, 05:03 AM   #94
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Kirby wrote: View Post
I used to go to this restaurant for take out about once a week, and the guy at the counter would always call me by my first name multiple times per visit: "Hi Dave", "What can I get you Dave", "That'll be $7.50 Dave", "Here's your food Dave", "Have a good day, Dave".
I always paid cash, but since I was at work I had my work ID clipped to my belt loop and he saw it once and just capitalized on it. Extremely annoying.
What was he, Hal from 2001? That does sound annoying.

As for the whole addressing your elders by Mr or Mrs., for me it depends on the circumstance. If you're talking to a teacher or professor, than that is acceptable, but anyone else I might say sir or just call them by their first name.
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Old June 26 2013, 05:09 AM   #95
Mr. Laser Beam
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

tomalak301 wrote: View Post
Kirby wrote: View Post
I used to go to this restaurant for take out about once a week, and the guy at the counter would always call me by my first name multiple times per visit: "Hi Dave", "What can I get you Dave", "That'll be $7.50 Dave", "Here's your food Dave", "Have a good day, Dave".
I always paid cash, but since I was at work I had my work ID clipped to my belt loop and he saw it once and just capitalized on it. Extremely annoying.
What was he, Hal from 2001?
Or Papa Lazarou...
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Old June 26 2013, 07:54 AM   #96
iguana_tonante
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
I must say, I am happy I do not live around some of you folks. Respect and manners should be the first option, yet I see that is not true with many posters. If I met you IRL, I would offer you respect and treat you with good manners... whether I receive the same is up to you.
Patronizing and insulting people is neither respectful or good-mannered.
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Old June 26 2013, 09:20 AM   #97
Avon
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
I must say, I am happy I do not live around some of you folks. Respect and manners should be the first option, yet I see that is not true with many posters. If I met you IRL, I would offer you respect and treat you with good manners... whether I receive the same is up to you.
He only does repect in real life.

us fictional people don't get any.
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Last edited by Avon; June 26 2013 at 09:35 AM.
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Old June 26 2013, 09:43 AM   #98
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
I must say, I am happy I do not live around some of you folks. Respect and manners should be the first option, yet I see that is not true with many posters. If I met you IRL, I would offer you respect and treat you with good manners... whether I receive the same is up to you.
Oh please, nobody has treated you with disrespect in this thread, let alone real life.

I certainly haven't argued that it is acceptable to treat anybody disrespectfully. In fact it seems the only person in this exchange who has argued that it is acceptable for there to be disparity in the level of respect you automatically accord others, is you. I treat everybody I meet with the same level of politeness, regardless of their age.
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Old June 26 2013, 03:23 PM   #99
Naira
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Back to creepy encounters with staff in general:

Where I come from, it is not usual to tip in cafes, restaurants etc. People may leave some small change, but generally noone expects them to. Once, many years ago, me and my boyfriend (both in our early 20s) were having coffee at a cafe. After we are done, the waiter comes with our change, leaves it on the table and just hovers there over our heads instead of leaving so we can pick up the change and leave. After some akward seconds, he asks my boyfriend: "You won't leave me a tip?" !!!

My boyfriend said something along the lines of "even if I was, I am not leaving a tip now", we got our change and left. We never saw him at the cafe again, even though that place keeps the same waiters for years.
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Old June 26 2013, 06:12 PM   #100
RoJoHen
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

^That is awkward.

Even if you were living somewhere where tipping was customary, your server shouldn't just wait there for you to give it to him.
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Old June 26 2013, 08:28 PM   #101
sonak
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Kirby wrote: View Post
I used to go to this restaurant for take out about once a week, and the guy at the counter would always call me by my first name multiple times per visit: "Hi Dave", "What can I get you Dave", "That'll be $7.50 Dave", "Here's your food Dave", "Have a good day, Dave".
I always paid cash, but since I was at work I had my work ID clipped to my belt loop and he saw it once and just capitalized on it. Extremely annoying.

yes, this is pretty similar to what I was getting at. It puts you in an awkward position, because if you say "I prefer that you address me as mr. or sir," you sound like a dick. You can try something like "I'm not used to customer service or business personnel addressing me by my first name," but it's still dickish.


Bottom line: it's up to an adult to determine how they prefer to be addressed, especially if it's not in a casual setting. I wouldn't address another adult by their first name in a non-casual setting unless they'd introduced themselves that way or indicated that's how they preferred to be addressed.

It's like that earlier post that brought up the "friendliness vs. politeness" thing.
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Old June 27 2013, 03:09 AM   #102
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
Tora Ziyal wrote: View Post
Last winter, when I was still using a cane and had an infusion pump slung over my shoulder, I decided to try on a cape. The saleswoman heard me tell my friend that I usually don't like loose, floppy clothes, but sleeves were uncomfortable over my PICC line, so a cape would be perfect for a while. So she starts telling me how great I look for someone who's sick, and how many capes she's sold to women who use wheelchairs, and btw what was wrong with me anyway.
It could be much worse, my friend. My godson has CP & is in a wheelchair [well, now its a Rascal scooter thing]. At the mall or movies, people will just stare. Mostly, it is because they just don't know what to say. Often, they are surprised that he speaks so well... they look at the body and assume he's retarded [or whatever the current PC term is].
As somebody who also has CP and uses a wheelchair (part time anyway). I can relate friend. I don't notice getting stared at all that much, but how some people react to me.....ugh. And I will NEVER understand the whole "speaks so well" nonsense. I've been complimented more than once on how well I express myself despite being disabled. As if they can't see that the CP affected my LEGS, not my MIND. But, it DOES perfectly demonstrate the conflicting nature of the current generations "values".

But, OT: I don't mind friendly cashiers, and don't consider them "creepy" (an over-used term that is now used to dismiss practically ANY form of human inter-action anymore) at all. They've never (that I can recall) said anything to me that I would find "creepy".
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Old June 27 2013, 03:24 AM   #103
Mr. Laser Beam
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

It kind of gives me the creeps when people I don't know, call me by name. Regular customers at my store sometimes do this.
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Old June 27 2013, 03:43 AM   #104
Nerys Myk
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
It kind of gives me the creeps when people I don't know, call me by name. Regular customers at my store sometimes do this.
They assume a familiarity because of frequency. It's weird when they do it and you've no idea what their name is, because they're just one of an endless stream of customers.

The customers I didn't like were the one who would ask you questions outside of the store. Back when I worked in a bookstore, I'd have people come up to me when I was at lunch and ask about a new title. The worst part is I'd answer them.

I never went in for the address them by name rule. It always reminded me of a scene in the The Jerk where Navin Johnson ( Steve Martin) keeps calling the customer getting gas "Mrs. Neusbaum, when it's obvious he's neither female or a Neusbaum.

I try to treat every one I meet with basic courtesy and respect, irregardless of age. How they act after that initial meeting will determine if I continue to do so.
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Old June 27 2013, 05:11 AM   #105
sonak
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Re: creepy encounters with cashiers

RandyS wrote: View Post
Sector 7 wrote: View Post
Tora Ziyal wrote: View Post
Last winter, when I was still using a cane and had an infusion pump slung over my shoulder, I decided to try on a cape. The saleswoman heard me tell my friend that I usually don't like loose, floppy clothes, but sleeves were uncomfortable over my PICC line, so a cape would be perfect for a while. So she starts telling me how great I look for someone who's sick, and how many capes she's sold to women who use wheelchairs, and btw what was wrong with me anyway.
It could be much worse, my friend. My godson has CP & is in a wheelchair [well, now its a Rascal scooter thing]. At the mall or movies, people will just stare. Mostly, it is because they just don't know what to say. Often, they are surprised that he speaks so well... they look at the body and assume he's retarded [or whatever the current PC term is].
As somebody who also has CP and uses a wheelchair (part time anyway). I can relate friend. I don't notice getting stared at all that much, but how some people react to me.....ugh. And I will NEVER understand the whole "speaks so well" nonsense. I've been complimented more than once on how well I express myself despite being disabled. As if they can't see that the CP affected my LEGS, not my MIND. But, it DOES perfectly demonstrate the conflicting nature of the current generations "values".

But, OT: I don't mind friendly cashiers, and don't consider them "creepy" (an over-used term that is now used to dismiss practically ANY form of human inter-action anymore) at all. They've never (that I can recall) said anything to me that I would find "creepy".

As I already indicated, it was not the "friendliness" that I found creepy, it was the unsolicited comments on items I was purchasing, and the presumption of addressing me by my first name as if we were friends, when all she'd done is gotten my name from a computer.

YMMV on what you consider "friendly," but to me that's not friendliness.
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