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Voyager There's coffee in this forum!

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Old June 17 2013, 10:05 PM   #1
Ln X
Fleet Captain
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Location: The great gig in the sky
VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Apologies for the delays, exams and revision got in the way but they're by the by! So onto our next contest!

JanewayRulz! wrote: View Post

Very few crewmembers on Voyager knew it, but Captain Janeway paid for her replacement photon torpedos with her part time job as a Delta Quadrant chiropracter
JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post

PARIS: Do we really have to completely forgive him by the next episode?
CHAKOTAY: That's the rules.
Ryva Brall wrote: View Post

Torres: Damn. Looks like the Infinite Improbability Drive has gone offline again.
Tuvok: Impossible.
Torres: No, just very, very improbable.
Finn wrote: View Post

You know we would have had Paris and Torres as zombies if Voyager was on the air today
R. Star wrote: View Post

Janeway: It's my flesh eating piranha tank. Bring Harry down here, we'll test how well this works out.
And the special award...

Triskelion wrote: View Post

Torres: Now that I'm your Pon Farr booty call, we can reset your relationship status on Spacebook.

Is there any way to see that Vorik gets the message?

Torres: Yeah. I'll poke him. With a mek'leth.
Congratulations to the winners, and also nice to see some new faces to!

The next pictures up for captioning are...

Have fun!
Star Trek: The Approaching Shadow...

Caption contest: DS9
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Old June 17 2013, 10:15 PM   #2
Ln X
Fleet Captain
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Location: The great gig in the sky
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Janeway: -so I've fallen in love with this ship's first officer and I don't know whether to be aloof like a good captain should be, or ask him out for a date. What do I do Tuvok?
Tuvok: Logic would suggest revealing to Commander Chakotay how you feel, however under the circumstances that is not possible.
Janeway: Why?
Tuvok: He's behind you captain.

A long silence follows...

Seven: You improved astrometrics sensor range by precisely 3.141- Exactly pi percent, impressive captain.
Janeway: Consider it a birthday present Seven!

Seven: May I ask why you are babysitting?
Tom: B'Elanna kicked me out of our quarters, she said I wasn't mature enough to be a parent. So now I've got to spend the next month with Naomi and Flotter...

Seven: A Romulan could do a better job organising this junk.
Torres: You-
Seven: A joke to lighten the situation.

Harry: Ugh bad day today...
Tom: Cheer up Harry, Neelix is sick so...
Star Trek: The Approaching Shadow...

Caption contest: DS9
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Old June 17 2013, 11:47 PM   #3
Rear Admiral
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

JANEWAY: Look. This planet has a drink almost identical to coffee, but even richer and darker!
TUVOK: That may be so, but it would be illogical to trade all our dilithium for...
JANEWAY: Too late.

CHAKOTAY: I'm glad Seven has become a member of the crew, but why did you put her in that outfit?
JANEWAY: To torture Kim.
KIM: Uhhh....

TOM: You can never tell Sam that Naomi broke into my liquor stash.
SEVEN: Where are you taking her?
TOM: To sickbay. After the Doctor cures her hangover I need you to erase his memory of it.
SEVEN: I'm not sure you've thought all this through.

B'ELANA: And then I found the two of them in the cargo bay.
JANEWAY: Can someone please find a time anomaly so we can reset this romance?

Tom and Harry in the moooorning!
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Old June 17 2013, 11:59 PM   #4
R. Star
Rear Admiral
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Location: Shangri-La
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Thanks for the win!

Janeway: So... I hear your pon farr is coming up... (get it?).. next month.
Tuvok: We do not discuss it withoutsiders.
Janeway: Nothing to discuss. I'll see to alllllll your needs. For the good of your health... totally for that.
Chakotay: (cries)

Chakotay: (thinking) I'd tap that.
Janeway: (thinking) I'd tap that.
Kim: (thinking) I just had an accident.
Seven: (thinking) Why is everyone staring at me?

Tom: I thought I'd be happy when Neelix left the ship.

Seven: I want a uniform. I'm tired of the lustful looks from Ensign Kim, the Doctor, your first officer... you. I'm also tired of the jealous looks of hatred from Lieutenant Torres.
Torres: Don't worry, I'll still hate you if you get a uniform.

Paris: Behold! I who am an expert pilot, a field medic, can design and build a ship that goes infinite, commando, fighter, lover, history expert... have now taken up art. Look at my first masterpiece, a more lifelike version of Harry Kim carved from the most dense alien wood in the Delta Quadrant!
"I was never a Star Trek fan." J.J. Abrams
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Old June 18 2013, 04:58 AM   #5
Rear Admiral
Location: Triskelion
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship


Janes: This one time, at band camp.....

Chaks: Now program the crew's recreational hologram with your physical attributes, Seven.
Janes: But make her...warm for our forms.
Kims: No! Keep her cold as ice.
Seven: And a riding crop?
All: Yes!

Paris: After we put Naomi to bed I'll show you my holoprogram, "How Treevis Got His Wood Back."

Chaks: Can I be frank with you?
Seven: Yes.
Chaks: ♪ ♫ Fly me to the moon, let me play....♪ ♫ ♩ ♬
B'Elanna: Oh just buy her a lobster, she'll put out.

Paris: How do you make a Bajoran stew?
Kims: I don't know?
Paris: Tell her the Occupation was a myth.

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Old June 18 2013, 11:37 PM   #6
Lieutenant Commander
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Location: Jetstream
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Tuvok: "Fascinating! I already tried 47 different algorithms to solve the problem. None of them were successful. How did you do it?"
Janeway: "See that little switch? I had Torres install it before your shift started. Press it 5 seconds, shut down, reboot..."
"Life improves the capacity of the environment to sustain life." - P. Kynes
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Old June 19 2013, 01:19 AM   #7
Fleet Captain
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Location: Texas Panhandle of Earth 2
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Seven: "With all respect to the Commander, I don't see how getting high and trying to talk to an imaginary goat will solve anything."

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Old June 19 2013, 04:59 PM   #8
Ln X
Fleet Captain
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Location: The great gig in the sky
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Tom: So bypassing the gel packs would be a shortcut to-
Kim: Mushrooms!

Star Trek: The Approaching Shadow...

Caption contest: DS9
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Old June 19 2013, 05:58 PM   #9
The Illusive Man
Leader of Cerberus
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Location: LeadHead
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Janeway: Just do me a favor, let Chakotay work out of here for awhile. I need the command area to myself for awhile. (under her breath) Jerk keeps using MY side of the console.

Seven: Computations are complete, Captain. It is mathematically impossible that Ensign Kim will ever make Lieutenant.

Paris: Why did you make her cry? She looks up to you.

Seven: I simply informed her that her Flotter holoprograms are infantile and that they will inevitably lead to her becoming an individual with less intelligence and reduced chances of a prosperous future.

Naomi: (tears)

Paris: Note to self: Never let Seven Babysit when B'Elanna and I have a baby.

Seven: ... And then I told Lieutenant Torres that it was "A good day to finally become a competent Engineer."

Paris: Ah, man. Now the service here is worse than the food!

Kim: Impossible.
Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
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Old June 19 2013, 08:25 PM   #10
Rear Admiral
Location: Triskelion
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Toms: After we put Naomi to bed I can show you my holoprogram "Fast & Furious 6 volume 392."
Sevs: Is that the one with the Vulcan Rock?
Toms: No you're thinking of 6 volume 287. This one has the original Rock.

Tommy: How do you make a Talaxian ale?
Kimmy: I don't know?
Tommy: Get his Ocampan girlfriend to dump him.

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Old June 21 2013, 11:08 AM   #11
Rear Admiral
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Location: Deep Space 9
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Janeway: We've got to find a way to get around these AOTW!
Tuvok: I am running a full tactical analysis, Captain. It will take some time though.
Chakotay: I have an idea--
Janeway: Quiet you! You know what happens when you make fun of my latest hair do. Now stand in the corner and think about what you said!

Janeway: It's so nice to have this place to ourselves, Seven.
Chakotay: Um, hello.
Janeway: Oh, Commander. I never noticed you.
Chakotay: I'm standing right next to Seven!
Janeway: You were in her shadow.
Kim: Hi.
Janeway: What was that?

Paris: See I told you I was the resident ladies man. See how easily I pick up chicks.

Chakotay: So ladies, why don't you slip out of those restrictive outfits and rub each other down with this baby oil.
Janeway: Chakotay, we're in the cargo bay not the holodeck.
Chakotay: I know.

Paris: Quick Harry, for once Seven isn't hogging the scene, it's your turn to shine!
Kim: Umm...huh? Do what now?
Paris: [groans] Well I tried.
Commander Austin Harris, First Officer, Deep Space Nine (by FltCpt. Bossco)
8.01 - Darkest Before Dawn (Chapter 8 added, 12/09/2015)
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Old June 21 2013, 03:33 PM   #12
Zombie Cheerleader
Fleet Admiral
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Location: Abraaaaaams
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

SEVEN: I wont be going to the ship's dance with either of you!

...or you Harry!!!

PARIS: If I ever find out who covered my uniform with superglue!!
Nerys Myk
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Old June 22 2013, 06:15 AM   #13
Rear Admiral
Location: Triskelion
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Tom-Ass: How do you make a Vulcan meatloaf?
Harr: I don't know?
Tom-Ass: Don't bother. It's already loafing.

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Old July 2 2013, 08:21 PM   #14
Lieutenant Commander
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Seven of 9: We are experiencing a malfunction in the Warp Core

B'Elanna: I have run every diagnostic and can not find the problem

Chakotay: Captain I believe if I go on a vision quest i can find out what is wrong let me get my..

Captain Janeway: Chakotay not every problem we encounter can be solved with a vision quest.
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Old July 2 2013, 09:29 PM   #15
The Green Monster
Vice Admiral
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Location: Finn
Re: VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Harry: ...and I made it to second base with the Skarri girl we met at the pub last night!

Tom: Handshakes aren't second base

Harry: Damn it!
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