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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old June 18 2013, 08:57 PM   #16
bullethead
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?


Picard: An Oberth? Again? Can't Starfleet Command send us to help any of the ships that aren't nearly a century old?
Geordi: Sorry sir, there's no room in the budget for that.


Picard: Will you agree to leave if I marry the two of you?
Q: And spare Janeway the torment of dealing with me?
Picard: Damn it... alright, you can stay here until the end of the week, but that's it. Now, I have a conference to attend in a ridiculous outfit.


Everyone's respect for Beverly jumped when they saw the technobabble on her medical tricorder was even more indecipherable than the stuff on the regular tricorder.


Worf: ENOUGH COUNSELOR! We have suffered through your emoting an uselessness for seven years! The madness must end!


Worf: You have no idea how satisfying this is.
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Old June 18 2013, 09:02 PM   #17
IzzyAtWarp9
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Geordie: As you can see here, Captain, we've managed to- Hmm, that's funny...
Picard: What is it Mr La Forge?
Geordie: Well when I updated the system this morning everything was working perfectly. But now-
Computer: Warning! Warp core breach in 12 minutes
Geordie: What the-??! I THOUGHT WE TOLD EVERYONE NOT TO LET WESLEY INTO ENGINEERING!



Deanna: Beverly? What are you- AAAHHHRGH!!!
Beverly: That's for not stopping Jean-Luc take an away team to Minos!!



Picard: Hello and welcome back to Are You Smarter Than Data? And we are down to our final question. This will be a buzzer round so fingers on consoles. So... The final question... What was the name... Of the First Officer on the Enterprise A?
*both buzzers go off, Vash's slightly faster*
Picard: Vash?
Vash: Spock!
Picard: That is correct! Well done, Vash, you have won Are You Smarter Than Data!! Now, Q, as you've lost, it's time to look into Camera B and say 'I am Q and I am not sma-
Q: Err.. Jean-Luc? I think you're forgetting something
Picard: Err... What?
Q: Who's the omnipotent god-like being who can read your thoughts and make anything happen on a whim?
Picard:... Vash it's time to look into Camera B...



Geordie: Here, Captain. I stayed up all night working on this new design
Picard: Oh, err... Thanks Geordie
Geordie: Well? What do you think??
Picard: Oh, erm, well.. That's clearly... That's clearly a thing isn't it?! I mean, err.. Wow.. That's... Yeah I've got to go



Picard: Worf, you have to go and meet Lwaxana Troi in transporter room 3. She'll be staying on the Enterprise for a few days on the way to a conference and... Worf?
Science crew: Everyone, take cover! He's gonna blow!
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Old June 18 2013, 09:27 PM   #18
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Deanna couldn't help but spontaneously combust when she saw Beverly's horrible taste in civilian clothes.




Picard: "Worf, when I said that gargoyles used to perch above all and bring protection from evil, I wasn't suggesting you should try becoming one. Now cut it out!"
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Old June 18 2013, 09:38 PM   #19
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Vash: "We're going to Africa to search for the 'Great White Ape'!"
Picard: "A Mugatu?"
Q: "Tarzan, fool!"
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Old June 18 2013, 11:27 PM   #20
shivkala
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Captain's Log, Supplemental. I am quite impressed at the progress Lt. LaForge is making on the executive washroom I asked for.



As she was being possessed, Troi was thankful she had a few options from her closet to accent her possessor.



Captain's Log, as unpleasant as it was having my parents explain it, somehow, Q and Vash sitting me down for "The Talk" is even more uncomfortable.



Geordi handed over the Tricorder to Picard seconds before remembering, that, as usual, he was still reading /r/foreveralone on Reddit.



The crew hated it when Riker would wear his Sex Panther cologne.
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Old June 18 2013, 11:56 PM   #21
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?


Picard: Mr La Forge, why is this schematic not of the Enterprise?
La Forge: Er... Practical joke from the designers of Utopia Planetia Shipyards?


There is a reason why 24th sex toys are banned in Starfleet...


Picard: I'm sorry but I don't do threesomes.
Q: Not even with an immortal omnipotent being like me?
Vash: Just think of the possibilities...


La Forge: This tricorder has been rigged with ten percent more oral sensitivity and eight percent more anal sensitivity.



Captain's Log supplemental: Worf's targpox continues to be highly infectious and has everyone nearby in hives.
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Old June 19 2013, 01:00 AM   #22
Santa Kang
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



GEORDI: Why, this car is automatic. It's systematic, it's hydromatic. Why, it's greased lightning. We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads, oh yeah.

PICARD: Keep talking, whoa, keep talking.

GEORDI: Fuel injection cutoffs and chrome plated rods, oh yeah.

PICARD: I'll get the money, I'll kill to get the money.

GEORDI: With a four-speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door. You know that ain't no shit, we'll be getting lots of tit in Grease Lightning.

PICARD: Sorry Geordi, you've lost me . Face it, you couldn't get laid in a whorehouse.
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Old June 19 2013, 01:18 AM   #23
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Geordi: "Off, off, off!! Oh, dammit... friggin' touch controls!"
Picard: "Geordi... nice screen saver you have going here."
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Old June 19 2013, 01:35 AM   #24
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



PICARD: I don't understand, how could an elephant even fit in your pajamas?

Q: You ready to dump this stiff?

VASH: And how!
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Old June 19 2013, 01:52 AM   #25
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Geordi: "And this is my latest work that I'm planning to submit in the annual Enterprise art show."
Picard: "What's it called?"
Geordi: "Four lights."
Picard: "Excellent."
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Old June 19 2013, 05:20 AM   #26
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Geordi: Due to a serious shipwide malfunction, the ship must be towed back to Starbase 12.
Picard: What is it?
Geordi: A big mushroom in space, but that's not important right now.
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Old June 19 2013, 05:24 AM   #27
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



Q: Oh come on, Johnny, we need you in your jodhpurs to round out our little set!
Picard: No! They are my fancy riding jodhpurs and I shan't waste them on the likes of you!
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Old June 19 2013, 06:41 PM   #28
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Troi: No, no--that's not where I need laser hair removal!
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Old June 20 2013, 02:07 AM   #29
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?



CRUSHER: Bet you'll think twice about "borrowing" my clothes now, Deanna!
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Old June 20 2013, 07:55 AM   #30
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Re: TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?

Thanks for tthe belly laugh LH!



Picard: Wrong Pegasus La Forge, I wanted the one from BSG.



Rick Berman: It's not I'm against gay characters in Trek, it's just coincidence I keep using a ray gun to keep them in the closet.



Picard: To be honest Q, "Rash" would be a more accurate name for her if you know what I mean.

Vash: Sitting right here!



La Forge: I'm not saying your Myspace page doesn't look good Sir, I'm saying you're about 8 years too late.




Worf: *Thinking* If I stick behind the horseshoe the Captain might not notice I forgot my trousers.



Again.
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