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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies XI+

Star Trek Movies XI+ Discuss J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek here.

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Old June 9 2013, 01:18 PM   #1
Roald
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If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

First of, I LOVED the film..! I do however felt that they could have done more to make Benedict look a little more like Khan... Maybe with more make up, heavier eyebrows, a different accent... I don't know... I have some trouble accepting him to be Khan, 'cause he's just too different looking...

Soooo... If I could add just ONE LINE of dialogue to STID, it would have been during Khan's rant about Marcus when he's in the brig talking to Kirk and Spock... I wish he'd have said something like this...

"Marcus took away my crew, took away my identity, gave me a new face... but what he could NOT take away, was my desire for revenge..."

He could then of course have added to it...

"You know, those poor Klingons I slaughtered have a saying... Revenge is a dish best served cold..."
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Old June 9 2013, 01:26 PM   #2
King Daniel Into Darkness
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Re: If you could ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I don't know what I'd add, but I know one line I'd take away:

I'm fine with it now, but first time I saw it I facepalmed and it took me out of the movie for a few minutes.
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Old June 9 2013, 01:32 PM   #3
Roald
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Re: If you could ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

Really..? I thought that KHAAANNN!!! was great, especially as the scream blended into the weapons fire of the Vengeance... I thought it was pretty eerie actually...
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Old June 9 2013, 01:52 PM   #4
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Re: If you could ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

Khan is in the shower in his Marcus sponsored flat.. water pours over him as he runs his hands through his hair, his face contorting into an intense visage. He's so still, his breathing so controlled, but we see it building, the resolve, the antipathy, the darkness, he's going into darkness..

The door swishes and in walks his Marcus sponsored lover.

Khan's eyes fly open and he yells, "NOT NOW MADELAINE!!"
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Last edited by teacake; June 9 2013 at 02:27 PM.
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Old June 9 2013, 02:18 PM   #5
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Re: If you could ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I'd simply change two words in the dialogue. When Kirk and Scotty are running to engineering and Scotty says "one day, one bloody day"--change "day" to "week".

Instantly resolves much (albeit not all) of impression that things happened too fast. However, I'm fine with the line as is--the "too fast" thing is, to me, a very minor nit to pick.
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Old June 9 2013, 02:51 PM   #6
Locutus of Bored
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

Something about PrimeSpock, despite taking a vow of silence about future events from his universe, anonymously letting Starfleet know the location of the Botany Bay in the hope that they would avoid it or take Khan's people into custody while they were still popsicles. Instead, Admiral Marcus took advantage of this information to find Khan and use him to his own ends. NuSpock does some research and concludes that only PrimeSpock could have known Khan's location, which is why he contacts him for more information (okay, that will probably be a couple lines ).

That would resolve a few issues as well, though like Ovation, none of it is a big deal to me.
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Old June 9 2013, 03:08 PM   #7
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I'd alter a few lines here and there but nothing important.
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Old June 9 2013, 03:17 PM   #8
King Daniel Into Darkness
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I just thought of one - I'd add a line from Sulu or Scotty emphasizing that it was Khan's attack on the already-helpless Enterprise that damaged the warp core. On first viewing, I somehow missed Khan's attack after beaming Kirk, Carol and Scotty to the brig (and before the torpedoes detonate) and was wondering why Spock blamed Khan for the damage done by Admiral Marcus. I've seen here that a couple of others missed it on first viewing too.
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Old June 9 2013, 03:40 PM   #9
Tom Hendricks
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

My line addition would be when Marcus calls Kirk son after pummeling the Enterprise with the Vengeance.

Kirk: Only one man earned the right to call me son and he's dead, because of you.

or something like that...
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Old June 9 2013, 03:57 PM   #10
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

SPOCK: "North American perversion of rugby, erroneously called "football", eventually suffered the same fate as baseball."

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Old June 9 2013, 04:59 PM   #11
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I'd add, in the credits:

BASED ON A TRUE STORY
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Old June 9 2013, 05:48 PM   #12
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

Kirk: "This is my chicken sandwich and coffee."
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Old June 9 2013, 06:05 PM   #13
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

I would add this, from Admiral Marcus to Carol (after he beamed her aboard the Vengeance):

Carol, if you survive this, you will probably hate me for the rest of your life because of what I've done. That breaks my heart, but it's acceptable...better that my own daughter hate my guts than the entire Federation be destroyed.
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Old June 9 2013, 06:22 PM   #14
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

KHAN: "So Spock, are you really related to Sherlock Holms?"



Carcazoid wrote: View Post
Kirk: "This is my chicken sandwich and coffee."
And Carol asks: "Can I cook or can't I?"
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Old June 10 2013, 02:18 AM   #15
the Sisko
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Re: If you could add ONE line of dialogue to STID, what would it be..?

Marcus to Kirk pre-warp:

We at Section 31 aren't done with Khan work and have big plans for the rest of his people, now lower your shields.

That would have changed the direction of the film, showing that Marcus' plan for Khan included the attack and was never to kill him. This would then clarify Khan as having motivation to break the bonds Marcus holds on him through his people without otherwise changing the story.



Spock to Khan post torpedo explosions:

Your ship is dead, but your crew is alive and on Enterprise. Surrender and prepare to be boarded.

This would have stopped Khan from going crazy and crashing a ship into SF HQ, killing thousands of people. Given that Spock Prime told Spock about ST2, he had to have told him the source of Khan's biggest rage is the suffering of his people. It could also have been a continuation of Khans "Let play this out... I will walk over your cold, dead corpses" dialog with a line on how Spock can't break bones, but can break Khan's ship.



McCoy to Spock post Khan capture:

Kirk's frozen and we have Khan's blood... but it will take years of research to discover how to bring him back to life.

THAT would have set up a ST3 scenario where Spock, having outwitted Khan in ship to ship and hand to hand combat, assumes command of the enterprise and makes it a point to one day bring back Kirk when it is possible (like the middle of the next movie). This would show this universe won't just destroy worlds, but will make loss personal.



Tyler Perry at the end of the movie:

The "war" with the Klingons has been quiet with nothing but an occasional border skirmish... Starfleet has a fleet on patrol but we are still going to explore the galaxy.

This would give some color to what really happened. We saw a space battle. But it didn't resolve anything on a intergalactic scale: does S31 have a fleet? Is war coming? Was Marcus a lone wolf? This movie seemed like a sci-fi version of SW: episode 2... but without the color of political intrigue.

Last edited by the Sisko; June 10 2013 at 02:32 AM. Reason: Better spacing and explainations.
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