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Future of Trek Discussion of future Trek projects.

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Old June 2 2013, 12:47 AM   #76
zekkie
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

Belz... wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post
i appreciate criticism, but not veiled attempts at trying to paint me as a hack who has $25.
I don't think that was the idea. You made a point that it was registered with the WGA to make it more impressive. Maurice simply pointed out that it's not impressive.

the timeline can be reconciled. it's called inventive storytelling.
You can't reconcile two contradictory things: in one timeline, there's a Vulcan in 2268. In the other, there is not after 2258. You'll have a hard time "reconciling" that. But that's not the point. The point is that nobody will care about that.



Yes, in supplementary material. They could change it without problem, since it was never stated onscreen.



I don't really watch tv anymore, but do they still do that nowadays ?

I want to give them Kirk and Spock, if you'll read a bit
In how many years ? Again: this treatment sounds like a pitch for you or fans, not the general public or studio guys.

the criticism in this thread has basically amounted to equivocation, without review of the material.
I assume you posted here to get honest evaluation of your treatment. If you're going to treat your critics like people who don't know what they are talking about, then you are doomed to failure.

I do hope you report back here to tell us of your success or failure, however. In the interest of honesty of course.
i intend to.

like i mentioned, i don't mind productive, warranted criticism. i've received no criticism but character attacks and equivocation.

WHO THE F* pissed in y'alls cheerios, in that you need to be rude and confrontational?

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...

not that i can't take it, or that it's changing my attitude.
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Old June 2 2013, 12:50 AM   #77
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

[QUOTE=zekkie;8188162]
SeerSGB wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post
Again, why does the view care what your education is (I noticed nothing about media marketting--let me guess you'll claim that one next)?

I (The viewer) want my Kirk and Spock and flashy space battles, give me that or I'm changing the channel.
change the channel if it's on the tv. go ahead. to what?

about media marketing, i'm in politics, if that counts.
and i have a couple facebook pages in the tens of thousands.

i'm giving it a shot.

(i'm not even attempting to brag, but... y'all don't give the benefit of the doubt much, do you.)
1) NCIS, CSI, Reality TV, what ever is more interesing that some boring ass Star Trek show that has nothing to do with the movies

2) ooooh Facebook pages with a high friend count. So what you're a teenage girl? Way to hang your hat on a fading social media structure.

3) No, we don't give much in the way of the benefit of the doubt when you ASK FOR PEOPLE's opinion.

And some of us are are professional enough to 1) take criticism 2) Know not to post a uncontracted work on a public forum 3) Not act butthurt and defensive when people give their opinions. 4) Good job fucking over part of your marketing by getting negative comments and opinions before you've even sold it.

Hell, I have shit regged in the WGA-E. You know why I'm not going to discuss it here: cause I'm actually trying to make money with it. It's called professionalism and marketing. You don't post shit about treatments or concepts online till you've a contract in hand and a check in the bank--NDA not withstanding.
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Old June 2 2013, 12:53 AM   #78
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

Maurice wrote: View Post
Just a general observation about topics like this: when wanting to engage in a dialog the thing that I see works over and over again is to start by engaging people in a conversation. Dumping screenfuls of text into a first message and then being surprised when people aren't engaged or are critical is naïve.
lesson learned. it's been awhile since i've been to TrekBBS. works ok as a strategy for me elsewhere, though it's not working that horribly right now. *shrug*
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Old June 2 2013, 12:54 AM   #79
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

[QUOTE=SeerSGB;8188198]
zekkie wrote: View Post
SeerSGB wrote: View Post

change the channel if it's on the tv. go ahead. to what?

about media marketing, i'm in politics, if that counts.
and i have a couple facebook pages in the tens of thousands.

i'm giving it a shot.

(i'm not even attempting to brag, but... y'all don't give the benefit of the doubt much, do you.)
1) NCIS, CSI, Reality TV, what ever is more interesing that some boring ass Star Trek show that has nothing to do with the movies

2) ooooh Facebook pages with a high friend count. So what you're a teenage girl? Way to hang your hat on a fading social media structure.

3) No, we don't give much in the way of the benefit of the doubt when you ASK FOR PEOPLE's opinion.

And some of us are are professional enough to 1) take criticism 2) Know not to post a uncontracted work on a public forum 3) Not act butthurt and defensive when people give their opinions. 4) Good job fucking over part of your marketing by getting negative comments and opinions before you've even sold it.

Hell, I have shit regged in the WGA-E. You know why I'm not going to discuss it here: cause I'm actually trying to make money with it. It's called professionalism and marketing. You don't post shit about treatments or concepts online till you've a contract in hand and a check in the bank--NDA not withstanding.
quite a professional response. good day.
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Old June 2 2013, 12:54 AM   #80
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

zekkie wrote: View Post
Professor Zoom wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post
like i said, show me your registered pitch or another one that's better.
Unless you pitch to an ACTUAL human being working at CBS, working in Dramas, it doesn't matter if its registered or not. Do you have someone that can get you a meeting? Or do you have an opportunity to pitch to someone who works at CBS?
it's covered.
Are YOU pitching? Yes or no.

zekkie wrote: View Post
Professor Zoom wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post

not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.

(edit: except via PM)
NOT. TRUE. For example, ME. It's still not clear of the tone... you are wildly all over the place. No Exec will follow... it's like Benson, Parks and Rec, Firefly, Farscape, and Wonderfalls....
a tone all it's own.

at this point, you're being coy.
I don't think coy means what you think it means.

I'm being pretty direct. And a tone all it's own... what does that MEAN. If you're pitching to me and you say, "it's got a tone all it's own, give me two million dollars..."

No, I would like to understand what I am buying.
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Old June 2 2013, 12:56 AM   #81
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

Professor Zoom wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post
Professor Zoom wrote: View Post

Unless you pitch to an ACTUAL human being working at CBS, working in Dramas, it doesn't matter if its registered or not. Do you have someone that can get you a meeting? Or do you have an opportunity to pitch to someone who works at CBS?
it's covered.
Are YOU pitching? Yes or no.

zekkie wrote: View Post
Professor Zoom wrote: View Post

NOT. TRUE. For example, ME. It's still not clear of the tone... you are wildly all over the place. No Exec will follow... it's like Benson, Parks and Rec, Firefly, Farscape, and Wonderfalls....
a tone all it's own.

at this point, you're being coy.
I don't think coy means what you think it means.

I'm being pretty direct. And a tone all it's own... what does that MEAN. If you're pitching to me and you say, "it's got a tone all it's own, give me two million dollars..."

No, I would like to understand what I am buying.

am i currently scheduled to pitch, no
can i make it happen? pretty certain of it.

you're being coy. i know the definition.
perhaps not the most appropriate word in this case, but i'm using definition 3
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coy


you're refusing to accept the answer i've presented, and then you mock it like you've got the answer to 'some scheme'.

good day.
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Old June 2 2013, 12:57 AM   #82
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

[Sylvester Jr.]"Boo hoo hoo. Oh, boo hoo hoo."[/Sylvester Jr.]
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Old June 2 2013, 12:58 AM   #83
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

Zekkie, take a deep breath. A lot of people are giving you sound advice, here.

zekkie wrote: View Post
then i intend to outdo him, by about 40 Emmy's. (noms, anyway)
Are you serious ? If so, you are going to be dissapointed, man. I think you should be more realistic, here. Listen to the people you present your ideas to.

My 2 cents: Trek works better as drama with _some_ humour in it, not comedy. And second:

like i said, this encompasses the expanded continuity of licensed productions.
...you're further restricting the number of people who, off the bat, would be interested in your idea, by stepping outside of even live-action canon. There aren't 20 million hard-line Trek fans in the world probably.

this series is a vehicle to tell the story of Kirk and Spock, if folks will read beyond a couple paragraphs.
I perused the whole thing. Remember I stopped at "comedy" on my first pass ? My guess is that a studio exec will stop after "Exploring the universe of throwaway lines and exposition .08".

Now, I disagree with some of your critics here that it can't work without Kirk and Spock. TNG proved that it can. But it proved that because it was a kick-ass show back then, with little that the viewer had to know about Trek because it was in a completely different time period. Can you say the same about yours ?
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Old June 2 2013, 12:59 AM   #84
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

[QUOTE=zekkie;8188210]
SeerSGB wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post

1) NCIS, CSI, Reality TV, what ever is more interesing that some boring ass Star Trek show that has nothing to do with the movies

2) ooooh Facebook pages with a high friend count. So what you're a teenage girl? Way to hang your hat on a fading social media structure.

3) No, we don't give much in the way of the benefit of the doubt when you ASK FOR PEOPLE's opinion.

And some of us are are professional enough to 1) take criticism 2) Know not to post a uncontracted work on a public forum 3) Not act butthurt and defensive when people give their opinions. 4) Good job fucking over part of your marketing by getting negative comments and opinions before you've even sold it.

Hell, I have shit regged in the WGA-E. You know why I'm not going to discuss it here: cause I'm actually trying to make money with it. It's called professionalism and marketing. You don't post shit about treatments or concepts online till you've a contract in hand and a check in the bank--NDA not withstanding.
quite a professional response. good day.
Am I here in a professional capacity? Am I trying to market a concept or a treatment? Nope. What I am, however, is a member of this board posting a thread where the OP asked for honest feedback--which I'm giving.
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Old June 2 2013, 01:01 AM   #85
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

zekkie wrote: View Post

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...
This was my first post...

BillJ wrote:
I stopped at COMEDY as well.

You can have comedy in Star Trek, but I don't think you can have Star Trek as a comedy.
There's nothing adversarial in it. Just my personal opinion on Star Trek as a comedy.

BillJ wrote:
I'll be honest, by posting it here you've pretty much guaranteed that CBS will reject it.

And I'm sorry, I just don't see Star Trek as a work place comedy.
Nothing adversarial here. Just what I've learned about the business over the years by folks who have worked in it and books I've read.

BillJ wrote:
In fairness, I took a few minutes and read it.

Umm...

It's not very good. It has way too many callbacks to other series and I found none of what was proposed particularly funny.

And you misspelled 'Constitution'.

EDIT: Plus, projects like Star Trek are usually developed 'in-house' by the company that owns the rights.
Took time to read it. Plus chime in that CBS usually develops such projects in house.

BillJ wrote:
Because you've published it for everyone to see and to copy and then claim CBS stole their ideas.

Same reason authors don't like for folks to mention story ideas in the Trek Literature forum.

Plus, I would think CBS would like to keep the contents of any new Trek series from the public until they are ready to announce it.
Nothing adversarial here. Just conversing with another poster on why it might not be wise to make a project like this public.

BillJ wrote:
If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?
Quoting the odds of this getting made and acknowledging that we've seen these grand plans before from other posters.

BillJ wrote:
Because if I don't care about the concept, I'm not going to care about the characters or stories. I'm really not trying to be mean here, but you really need to go back to the drawing board.
This is just constructive criticism on my part.

There is just nothing that interests me in your proposal. First it's a workplace comedy about April and Colt (who seemed pretty young in The Cage so I'm not sure how that's suppose to work), then it's like a half-dozen other series, then it's a series about the evolution of Kirk and Spock. You're literally all over the place.

You need a "hook" that can sell the series and I simply don't see that "hook" in anything you've presented.
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Old June 2 2013, 01:04 AM   #86
zekkie
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

Maurice wrote: View Post
[Sylvester Jr.]"Boo hoo hoo. Oh, boo hoo hoo."[/Sylvester Jr.]
not at all...
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Old June 2 2013, 01:05 AM   #87
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

BillJ wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...
This was my first post...

BillJ wrote:
I stopped at COMEDY as well.

You can have comedy in Star Trek, but I don't think you can have Star Trek as a comedy.
There's nothing adversarial in it. Just my personal opinion on Star Trek as a comedy.



Nothing adversarial here. Just what I've learned about the business over the years by folks who have worked in it and books I've read.



Took time to read it. Plus chime in that CBS usually develops such projects in house.



Nothing adversarial here. Just conversing with another poster on why it might not be wise to make a project like this public.

BillJ wrote:
If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?
Quoting the odds of this getting made and acknowledging that we've seen these grand plans before from other posters.

BillJ wrote:
Because if I don't care about the concept, I'm not going to care about the characters or stories. I'm really not trying to be mean here, but you really need to go back to the drawing board.
This is just constructive criticism on my part.

There is just nothing that interests me in your proposal. First it's a workplace comedy about April and Colt (who seemed pretty young in The Cage so I'm not sure how that's suppose to work), then it's like a half-dozen other series, then it's a series about the evolution of Kirk and Spock. You're literally all over the place.

You need a "hook" that can sell the series and I simply don't see that "hook" in anything you've presented.
What I've always been told (YMMV) is that if you can't sell your pitch in two sentences, you're pretty well fucked. You've got to have the ideal of what it is in your head, and sell them on that; not what it will be but what the core of the ideal is.

This is Asylum's Pitch Guidelines: It should be short and to the point -- only a couple of paragraphs of a few sentences each.

The OP in the thread, to long. And their's is a pretty common "golden rule".
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Old June 2 2013, 01:08 AM   #88
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT


What I've always been told (YMMV) is that if you can't sell your pitch in two sentences, you're pretty well fucked. You've got to have the ideal of what it is in your head, and sell them on that; not what it will be but what the core of the ideal is.
if i ever have another concept, i'll only post the logline next time.

this is fleshed out, as well as parsed down to cover letters, synopses, etc to the appropriate persons.
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Old June 2 2013, 01:08 AM   #89
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

zekkie wrote: View Post

am i currently scheduled to pitch, no
can i make it happen? pretty certain of it.
You should make it happen. It's the only way. If you can make it happen, that should be in your plan. Without a doubt.


you're being coy. i know the definition.
perhaps not the most appropriate word in this case, but i'm using definition 3
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coy
Which #3?

3. Annoyingly unwilling to make a commitment.
or
3. evasive, esp in an annoying way
or
3. reluctant to reveal one's plans, make a commitment, or take a stand.

Because I'm pretty sure I'm asking you to make a commitment, and I don't think I'm being evasive and I have no plans to reveal... so...

Yeah, I'm not being coy. I'm certainly being demanding. That's for sure.


you're refusing to accept the answer i've presented, and then you mock it like you've got the answer to 'some scheme'.
I accept it as an answer. But it's not a GOOD answer. It's not an answer you can give to someone and they are going to take it seriously. And I have no idea what you mean that I have some "scheme."

I'm telling you the reality. You cannot go in and pitch Star Trek comedy saying it's like Benson and Parks and Rec--other than being workplace comedies, there is no similarity. It simply will not work. It will confuse rather than inform.


good day.
I'm actually trying to help. I get that you don't see it. But, seriously, put your ego aside for a moment, and sit in the chair of the person listening to your pitch. Pretend you are not a MEGA Star Trek fan, pretend that you get lots and lots of pitches, pretend that you are 30 years old.
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Old June 2 2013, 01:10 AM   #90
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

zekkie wrote: View Post
not a single question in this thread about my work into this, my characters or my stories.
I just don't think we're there yet.

indeed it's a big concept, but i'm attempting it.
Hey, more power to you, and I hope for you that you succeed. But in order to do so, in my opinion, you'll have quite a bit of, let's say, pragmatizing to do.

like i mentioned, i don't mind productive, warranted criticism. i've received no criticism but character attacks and equivocation.
Now that's a lie, Zekkie. We have pointed out that the format of your series is problematic, that the tone of your treatment gives the strong impression that this will not be directed at the general audience, and that you are over-prepared and over-hyped, but in the wrong way. That's not character attacks.
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