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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies XI+

Star Trek Movies XI+ Discuss J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek here.

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Old May 20 2013, 07:20 PM   #1
Chu'lak
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The greatest post you will read for a few hours

I heartily agree with everything in this arctile

http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/fea...t-theaters.php

Author’s Note:While on a survey mission, Al Gore is sucked into a giant hole in the ozone that deposits him in the past. Stranded, he uses his knowledge of the future to invent the internet decades sooner than he did in his original timeline. By the 1980s, the internet has evolved to what it became by the early 21st century, dragging fan culture with it.

This is one such review that I obtained from our alternate past.

Reviewed: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Is a Slap in the Face to Fans!

By: GeneGeneTheRodenberryMachine

Spock dies!

I’m sorry. I took some heat for posting that as the headline in my earlier screening report, but the fact is that it’s impossible to discuss this movie without discussing that salient point. Let’s also get to what’s really important – Nick Meyer, Harve Bennett AND Leonard Nimoy all lied throughout production when they refused to confirm the rumors of Spock’s death. It was ridiculous, as this had to be the worst kept secret in Hollywood. Everyone knew about this beforehand, so I don’t know why some of my critical brethren are kissing Paramount’s ass by pretending we all didn’t know the ending.

[...<snip>...]

Maybe if they just outright marketed it as the Death of Spock, curious folks would have flocked in opening weekend before word got out about how bad this was. Instead they pushed it as run-of-the-mill sci-fi, and hardcore Trekkers will be so angry about Spock’s death that there will be no repeat business.

Parmount, next time you need to give the reigns of the film to a REAL fan. If Bennett and Meyer get work after this, it’ll be a miracle.

Last edited by M'Sharak; May 20 2013 at 07:51 PM. Reason: you're not supposed to reproduce entire articles
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Old May 20 2013, 07:27 PM   #2
BillJ
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

You don't need a time machine. Real fans tore TWOK apart when it was released.
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Old May 20 2013, 07:58 PM   #3
M'Sharak
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Chu'lak wrote: View Post
I heartily agree with everything in this arctile

http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/fea...t-theaters.php

Authorís Note:While on a survey mission, Al Gore is sucked into a giant hole in the ozone that deposits him in the past. Stranded, he uses his knowledge of the future to invent the internet decades sooner than he did in his original timeline. By the 1980s, the internet has evolved to what it became by the early 21st century, dragging fan culture with it.

This is one such review that I obtained from our alternate past.

Reviewed: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Is a Slap in the Face to Fans!

By: GeneGeneTheRodenberryMachine

Spock dies!

Iím sorry. I took some heat for posting that as the headline in my earlier screening report, but the fact is that itís impossible to discuss this movie without discussing that salient point. Letís also get to whatís really important Ė Nick Meyer, Harve Bennett AND Leonard Nimoy all lied throughout production when they refused to confirm the rumors of Spockís death. It was ridiculous, as this had to be the worst kept secret in Hollywood. Everyone knew about this beforehand, so I donít know why some of my critical brethren are kissing Paramountís ass by pretending we all didnít know the ending.

[...<snip>...]

Maybe if they just outright marketed it as the Death of Spock, curious folks would have flocked in opening weekend before word got out about how bad this was. Instead they pushed it as run-of-the-mill sci-fi, and hardcore Trekkers will be so angry about Spockís death that there will be no repeat business.

Parmount, next time you need to give the reigns of the film to a REAL fan. If Bennett and Meyer get work after this, itíll be a miracle.
The article is actually pretty funny and makes some valid points besides. However, "fair use" says that you should cite only portions, providing a link to the balance of the article, rather than reproducing a copyrighted piece in its entirety. I've edited the opening post accordingly, and everyone may go read the full piece by following the link.
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Old May 20 2013, 08:37 PM   #4
Admiral Buzzkill
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

This is fucking brilliant!

And BillJ is right, a lot of fans tore TWOK apart when it opened.

The sad thing is that this faux review is better written, briefer and far more to the point than any of the teeth-gnashing attempts online to tear down STID have been.
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Old May 20 2013, 08:39 PM   #5
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

That was excellent!
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Old May 21 2013, 01:18 AM   #6
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Meh. I get the joke, and the comparisons are obvious and clever. But it's just not funny. But then I am a Prime Trek loving and Abrams hating dinosaur...
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Old May 21 2013, 04:52 AM   #7
sj4iy
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Sherlock "HOLMES", not "Homes" (unless the author is talking about a real estate developer).
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Old May 21 2013, 02:38 PM   #8
The Wormhole
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

sj4iy wrote: View Post
Sherlock "HOLMES", not "Homes" (unless the author is talking about a real estate developer).
Or more likely he deliberately misspelled it to make it look like a legitimate internet rant.
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Old May 21 2013, 02:46 PM   #9
Chu'lak
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

The Wormhole wrote: View Post
sj4iy wrote: View Post
Sherlock "HOLMES", not "Homes" (unless the author is talking about a real estate developer).
Or more likely he deliberately misspelled it to make it look like a legitimate internet rant.
That's what I took it as. Teh Abrams HAET!
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Old May 21 2013, 07:31 PM   #10
sj4iy
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Chu'lak wrote: View Post
The Wormhole wrote: View Post
sj4iy wrote: View Post
Sherlock "HOLMES", not "Homes" (unless the author is talking about a real estate developer).
Or more likely he deliberately misspelled it to make it look like a legitimate internet rant.
That's what I took it as. Teh Abrams HAET!
Maybe, but I doubt it because the rest of the article is spelled correctly. Even "melodramatic". Typo.
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Old May 21 2013, 08:28 PM   #11
M'Sharak
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

sj4iy wrote: View Post
Chu'lak wrote: View Post
The Wormhole wrote: View Post
sj4iy wrote: View Post
Sherlock "HOLMES", not "Homes" (unless the author is talking about a real estate developer).
Or more likely he deliberately misspelled it to make it look like a legitimate internet rant.
That's what I took it as. Teh Abrams HAET!
Maybe, but I doubt it because the rest of the article is spelled correctly. Even "melodramatic". Typo.
Unless you count "Gene Rodenberry" in the sentence following, and "Checkov" a couple of paragraphs farther down. They could still be typos, or they might be a sly nudge at the sort of fan who consistently misspells certain actor and character names. (see: "Kahn"; "Jeffrey Coombs"; usw)
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Old May 21 2013, 08:46 PM   #12
sj4iy
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

M'Sharak wrote: View Post
sj4iy wrote: View Post
Chu'lak wrote: View Post
That's what I took it as. Teh Abrams HAET!
Maybe, but I doubt it because the rest of the article is spelled correctly. Even "melodramatic". Typo.
Unless you count "Gene Rodenberry" in the sentence following, and "Checkov" a couple of paragraphs farther down. They could still be typos, or they might be a sly nudge at the sort of fan who consistently misspells certain actor and character names. (see: "Kahn"; "Jeffrey Coombs"; usw)
Kahn seems to be a spelling that almost everyone is using. Do people really not know how to spell his name by now?
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Old May 21 2013, 08:53 PM   #13
Amasov
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Now all's we need is an article about if the Internet did not exist when Into Darkness hit theaters.
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Old May 21 2013, 11:12 PM   #14
M'Sharak
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

sj4iy wrote: View Post
M'Sharak wrote: View Post
sj4iy wrote: View Post

Maybe, but I doubt it because the rest of the article is spelled correctly. Even "melodramatic". Typo.
Unless you count "Gene Rodenberry" in the sentence following, and "Checkov" a couple of paragraphs farther down. They could still be typos, or they might be a sly nudge at the sort of fan who consistently misspells certain actor and character names. (see: "Kahn"; "Jeffrey Coombs"; usw)
Kahn seems to be a spelling that almost everyone is using. Do people really not know how to spell his name by now?
Whether don't know or don't care, the result is the same. It's not for want of correction, in any case.
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Old May 21 2013, 11:23 PM   #15
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Re: The greatest post you will read for a few hours

Everyone has different expectations, I remember Insurrection being well received - though I was just a kid back then, I didn't frequent ST sites all that much.
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