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Old April 7 2013, 05:04 PM   #46
DonIago
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

It's only not good if she agrees.
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Old April 7 2013, 05:17 PM   #47
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

DonIago wrote: View Post
It's only not good if she agrees.
- Not good if she [Mother] agrees
- Worse if Mother agrees and the girlfriend gets really excited and turned on by the ideal.
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Old April 7 2013, 05:26 PM   #48
Gaith
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

.



THIS THREAD REQUIRES COURSE CORRECTION








> BACK TO TOPIC
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Old April 7 2013, 05:32 PM   #49
DonIago
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Aww puppies!!!
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Old April 7 2013, 06:17 PM   #50
scotpens
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Kestra wrote: View Post
Just wanted to say don't do it in your car. You think you're in a totally isolated place and then a cop knocks on the window and it's a massive scramble to get clothes on. So I've heard.
Plus, there's the escaped killer with the hook.
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Old April 7 2013, 06:43 PM   #51
Peach Wookiee
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

You couldn't do it in a tent in the backyard?
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Old April 7 2013, 07:18 PM   #52
Gaith
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

^ Pitching a tent in a tent? Not very subtle...
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Old April 7 2013, 08:50 PM   #53
George Steinbrenner
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Gaith wrote: View Post
.



THIS THREAD REQUIRES COURSE CORRECTION





Awwww...
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Old April 7 2013, 09:14 PM   #54
Peach Wookiee
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Gaith wrote: View Post
^ Pitching a tent in a tent? Not very subtle...
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Old April 7 2013, 09:46 PM   #55
Lt. Cheka Wey
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Don't you a have a cool uncle or a brother?
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Old April 7 2013, 10:50 PM   #56
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

i think the 'play loud music' advice would work. i suggest:

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Old April 7 2013, 11:02 PM   #57
Queen Arachnia
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Go camping?
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Old April 8 2013, 01:37 AM   #58
Mike Farley
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Underground Sex club?
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Old April 8 2013, 04:14 AM   #59
Jimi_James
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
First, find a paper clip, a broomstick, and a roll of toilet paper.

Open the paper clip and use the pointed end to depress the button on your stereo. Repeat as necessary until your find the proper mood music. Set it to cover any embarrassing squeaking noises from the bedsprings.

Use the broomstick to mark off a minimum safe distance to maintain away from your parent's bedroom wall and any other walls. Move the bed to that point in the middle of the room.

Take the roll of toilet paper and put it behind your head as an extra barrier above a pillow to prevent banging your or her head into the headboard.

Problem solved.

Well played sir. Well played.


I suggest you tell your mother you saw rats...multiple rats or some other type of pest and that upon taking the initiative, you called an exterminator only to find out the problem is so serious that you'll have to evacuate your home for at least 24 hours (possibly longer, if you're feeling up to it) while the pests are removed. Mention something about deadly chemicals that could render you dead if inhaled.

Have your mother rent a hotel room and tell her you'll be staying over at a friends house. Once your mother has left and thinks you've left as well, invite your girlfriend over and proceed to have coitus. And since your mother will be gone for some time, feel free to engage in coitus multiple times.
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Old April 8 2013, 04:28 AM   #60
Rhaven
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Re: How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Gaith wrote: View Post
.





THIS THREAD REQUIRES COURSE CORRECTION








> BACK TO TOPIC
Puppies!
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