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Old April 3 2013, 10:04 PM   #16
Miss Chicken
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Location: Howrah, Hobart, Tasmania
Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

And not sure where you're investing your money, but there's no way you missed out on $1,000 in interest by not having $5k in your account for 3 years. That's a crazy return on investment in this environment without some serious luck (steady 6%), and savings accounts don't pay jack in interest anymore. And you got SOME of the $5k back, so can't even count the full amount. Don't make it worse by imagining some crazy amount of loss you're incurring; the loss is pretty much limited to what you gave out, plus maybe a couple hundred bucks in interest max, assuming good return...
i am not so sure that it is so crazy. StarMan is from New Zealand and I assume that New Zealand interest rates are similar to Australia's. In 2011 I opened up a 60 month fixed term deposit and got a 6% interest rate (interest is paid to me yearly). When I open up the account my banker told me I was unfortunate - two months before the interest rate was at 6.8%. At the same time I also opened up a 12 month fixed term deposit with. 5.3% interrst rate - so it is highly probable that StarMan could have got an interest rate of around 6% or slightly more in 2010 for a three year fix term deposit of $5000.


Edited to add - I looked up current interest rates in Australia and New Zealand and found them similar, currently around 4.5% on fixed term deposits and between about 2 and 4.5% for savings accounts depending on the type of savings account. I get the higher rate on one saving account because I deposit a minimum of $50 a month and don't withdraw (if I withdraw I lose my interest for that month).

Last edited by Miss Chicken; April 3 2013 at 10:17 PM.
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Old April 3 2013, 10:12 PM   #17
Lindley
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

Geez, maybe I need an New Zealand bank.....here in the US you're lucky to crack 1%.
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Old April 3 2013, 10:38 PM   #18
Ugly Sweater
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Location: Kansas City
Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

I personally never loan people money and expect it back, it creates too much turmoil for both sides.

It's a bit dickish on his part, sure, but he's family and needed the money. Get back what you can, as you get it, and consider that a bonus.
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Old April 3 2013, 11:19 PM   #19
Miss Chicken
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

Lindley wrote: View Post
Geez, maybe I need an New Zealand bank.....here in the US you're lucky to crack 1%.
The downside of it is that high interest rates on investments means high interest rate on house loans. This isn't bad for me as I am not buying a house. Whenever rates come down home buyers cheer and I groan.
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Old April 4 2013, 05:34 PM   #20
propita
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

I loaned my brother $1000 years ago, after he borrowed and repaid a $2500 loan. It took well over five years to get the money back. He said, "Since you stopped asking about it, I figured I must have paid you and forgot." Um...no. He also borrowed money from our 78yo limited-income widowed mother, as did my sister.

When we all received some money from an inheritance, all debts were paid between parties. Finally.

And, no, I would not lend my siblings money. I've rather soured on family. I wish my siblings well, but after all the crap I put up with growing up and continuing to this day, I wouldn't miss them if I never saw or heard from them again. They don't want to be a part of my life (unless there's something in it for them, of course)? Fine by me.
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Old April 6 2013, 11:51 PM   #21
Bisz
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

Maybe a little harsh but the whole situation looks to be messed up.

From your mother's initial involvement to backing out and not wanting to be involved now, to your brother borrowing so much money without paying it back, to you wanting to charge your brother interest.

I certainly don't agree with what your brother did, but reading your post, and again this may be a bit harsh, you didn't come off that well. Honestly, when I got to the point where you started talking about providing a "service" I figured you'd have them do your laundry or polish your shoes... indentured servitude like.

Now, if your brother's partner is a hairdresser then they should have come up with the idea of doing your hair gratis on their own, that would at least show their understanding of the need to repay you.

It sounds to me like by now you are too hung up on the money to let it go so I don't know how much good most people's advice to just forget it is going to do. If I were in your position I would probably feel the same way you do, but I don't think I would ever lend a family member that much money, I would either say no, or give it to them outright.

I think you are petty much boned unless you can sit your brother down for a straight talk and figure out what he plans to do, if anything, about the money he owes you.

You need to get some kind of closure, and just writing the money off isn't going to provide that because it will fester under the surface and forever poison your relationship.
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Old April 7 2013, 01:11 AM   #22
Brolan
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

I would talk to a lawyer and see what options you have. An oral contact to repay the money is still enforceable. You can even have the lawyer write a letter to your brother demanding immediate repayment. That will show you mean business about getting the loan repaid. If he still refuses to pay you can get a judgement against him in court. Once you have that you can go after his assets, garnish his wages, etc.
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Old April 7 2013, 02:01 AM   #23
Lumos Ziyal
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

StarMan wrote: View Post
I have, to date, received approx $1000 of the $5000 owed, as a result of a couple of cash payments and an automatic payment he set up last year. At the current rate, I'm looking at another 3-4 years.
I agree with those who said that, if you want to maintain a relationship with your brother, at this point you have to just live with the automatic payments he's making. And in the future, if you want and can afford to help a friend or relative, give them money. Don't lend it. I learned the hard way, too, though on a smaller scale than you.
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Old April 7 2013, 02:29 AM   #24
Kestra
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Re: Family Member Owes Money. Advice?

I've recently been on the other end of this, where my brother and his wife loaned me a large amount of money a few months ago. I had an agreement drawn up even though he was really chill about everything and I've already repaid it. Personally, I don't think you should ever loan money, you should only gift it. Family member or not. If someone is in the position of needing cash, you don't really know when they will be in the position to repay it, if at all.

In this specific situation you have to choose between the money and your relationship. If you want the money, you can consult a lawyer but it sounds like you didn't even have an agreement so you probably won't get what you're after. If you want the relationship, make nice with him and drop seeking interest. That seems like a dick move anyway if you never talked about that before.

This whole way of thinking is a bit weird to me honestly, but I think I just have a very different relationship with my siblings.
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