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Old April 4 2013, 12:44 AM   #16
Ancient Mariner
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

sojourner wrote: View Post
Hopefully the next time he tries that game he remembers to include the word "positive".
Yeah ... it kind of helps to establish a few parameters before opening the floor for comments.
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Old April 4 2013, 12:46 AM   #17
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Luckily most of my "staff meetings" involve drinking beer and doing shots.
All of my staff meetings involve sex! Unfortunately, I am a sole proprietorship.
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Old April 4 2013, 12:51 AM   #18
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

J. Allen wrote: View Post
RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Luckily most of my "staff meetings" involve drinking beer and doing shots.
All of my staff meetings involve sex! Unfortunately, I am a sole proprietorship.
Ha!
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Old April 4 2013, 12:53 AM   #19
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

J. Allen wrote: View Post
RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Luckily most of my "staff meetings" involve drinking beer and doing shots.
All of my staff meetings involve sex! Unfortunately, I am a sole proprietorship.
Ever thought of going public?
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Old April 4 2013, 01:08 AM   #20
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

With his staff?? He might get arrested.
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Old April 4 2013, 01:10 AM   #21
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.



Sorry. I should have added: In Amsterdam.
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Old April 4 2013, 01:23 AM   #22
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

You know it's a funny story but it boggles the mind how people over share. I've been in these icebreaker situations more than a few times where what is supposed to be a get to know you deal ends up with someone grandstanding and making it all about them and their suffering. When, you know, it was supposed to be directed chit chat to help people feel comfortable. I do not understand it, though I do have a good friend who does it all the time herself.. and I still don't understand it.
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Old April 4 2013, 01:56 AM   #23
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

I think you only have to look at message board threads to see how easily it is for people to turn a discussion of anything into a pity party for themselves. As was mentioned upthread, it's incumbent on the facilitator to set the expectations for the ice breaker, "Share a funny story from ... etc." That won't completely stem the tide, of course. But it should keep these incidents to a minimum.
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Old April 4 2013, 02:48 AM   #24
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

sojourner wrote: View Post
Hopefully the next time he tries that game he remembers to include the word "positive".
It was a she.

teacake wrote: View Post
You know it's a funny story but it boggles the mind how people over share. I've been in these icebreaker situations more than a few times where what is supposed to be a get to know you deal ends up with someone grandstanding and making it all about them and their suffering.
It's today's therapy culture.

Sure, some people have legitimate psychological issues that might be helped by competent professional counseling. That doesn't mean they have to stick their problems in everyone else's faces.
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Old April 4 2013, 03:40 AM   #25
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

James T. Vader wrote: View Post
So today we had a staff meeting and for the ice breaker my boss passed around pennies. And the thing was the year of the coin, you had to state something that happened to you in your life during that year.

So the first girl to go, goes into this tearful sob fest about how 2002 was her third year in college and she attempted suicide twice.

The next person to go, went on and on about her adopted sister and the girls real dad breaking into the house trying to kidnap his child back and terrorized the family.


Finally at this point my boss stood up and said that this wasn’t what she meant, she said keep it light and fluffy.

Holy crap.

What a downer of a meeting this was.
Yikes!

Sounds like a plot from "The Office."
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Old April 4 2013, 04:00 AM   #26
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

Samuel Walters wrote: View Post
I think you only have to look at message board threads to see how easily it is for people to turn a discussion of anything into a pity party for themselves. As was mentioned upthread, it's incumbent on the facilitator to set the expectations for the ice breaker, "Share a funny story from ... etc." That won't completely stem the tide, of course. But it should keep these incidents to a minimum.
You would think that these people would use a little common sense and realize that they aren't in group therapy and to keep it light.
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Old April 4 2013, 04:23 AM   #27
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

^ Certainly not an unreasonable expectation. Especially where adults are concerned. But it's been my experience, however, that if there's a certain kind of behavior you expect (or would like to elicit) from an activity, then it's best to provide a very clear expectation for what that behavior is ... including explicitly modeling that behavior.
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Old April 4 2013, 09:15 AM   #28
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

I dunno, you look at a year and you're asked to think of what happened to you in that year what's first going to spring to mind, your battle with cancer or that new couch?
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Old April 4 2013, 11:46 AM   #29
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

But it's a light icebreaker, no one wants a 15 minute sob story about how you were so depressed that year that you tried to kill yourself twice. It's not "say the first thing that comes to mind', they were asked to give a quick example, in a work environment, to co-workers. You're allowed (and expected) to self-edit a bit. As 'dark' as you really want to go there is that maybe you were having a bad year, and then X happend that was nice to turn it around. You don't talk about the time you took all those pills or climbed up on the roof.

As someone mentioned, it seems that if you don't have a good story, a lot of people decide to go straight to the pity party routine and see if they can out-suffer you instead.

How about a little awareness of the situation? Maybe next time, just talk about your trip to the grand canyon, and skip the part about going there because you thought you were dying of cancer (and the 20 minute follow-on about all the chemo)?
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Old April 4 2013, 11:49 AM   #30
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Re: We won't be playing games anymore.

It's how it's done. If you are going to break down and take everyone with you, best leave the really confrontational stuff unsaid. If you can simply say, "that was a bad year for me, I had X happen, but I'm in a better place now" that's fine.
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