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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies I-X

Star Trek Movies I-X Discuss the first ten big screen outings in this forum!

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Old March 17 2013, 08:46 PM   #1
LeadHead
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Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!

Hello everyone, sorry I wasn't able to get this one started any earlier, Photobucket was being quite weird last weekend and I can't start a new contest without new images.




First up to the plate, we have the "Bad idea" Award, going to:

Herkimer Jitty wrote: View Post


Riker: "You told him about our first season?!"
Next, we have the "Dangerous, according to Stephen Colbert" Award, going to:

Maurice wrote: View Post


BONES: Damn, the bears in this park have gotten sophisticated!
Next, we have the "Just wait til the J.J.verse" Award, going to:

Riker's Libido wrote: View Post


Spock: Uhura.... Captain I believe the colloquialism is she "has a big ol' butt."

Kirk: Indeed, Spock.

Spock: .... maybe in another life...

Kirk: Yep.

*fist bump*


Finn wrote: View Post


Geordi: *chuckle*

Riker: What's so funny?

Geordi: I just carved "Ask that kid wearing the visor out. He's cool!" on that tree

Riker: Why is that funny?

Geordi: So Jenny Garcia who was making out with Herbie Thompson, by that tree when we visited this place back in middle school, would see the tree and ask me out.
Congratulations to all of our winners! Many thanks to everyone who participated!

Lets get going on our new contest!







Enjoy!
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Old March 17 2013, 08:50 PM   #2
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Kirk: Okay, so I can see the new uniforms have not proven popular. Next time we won't choose them from our Spacebook Comments section.



Kirk: I used to have a drinking problem.

Sulu: And?

Kirk: Now I don't miss.



Spock: You made that mess, Chekov. Now clean it up.
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Old March 17 2013, 10:51 PM   #3
inflatabledalek
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!




William Shatner: I'd like to thank all the fans who support the ides of a director's cut of Star Trek V for turning up today. It'd be more impressive if enough of you had turned up to stop us being moved down from the Big Room of the convention, but it's still appreciated.



It may have taken twenty years of working together before he noticed, but as as soon as Shatner discovered Takei was gay, he reacted with typical tact.




Spock: It's no good, I think we'll have to stick with DVD. On Blu Ray the Captain's hair just looks... odd.
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Old March 18 2013, 01:03 AM   #4
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Kirk: And, on a last note, I'd like to report that Starfleet's recent initiative to eliminate primary colors has been successful. On an unrelated note, we are already seeing an increase in moral among the security teams, though unfortunately, it has not increased their mortality rate at all.



Sulu: Let me show you how this is done. First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You're looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you're doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. Uhh, that's gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It's usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don't be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm... a little citrus... maybe some strawberry...passion fruit...
... and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese..

*turns to see Kirk chugging the wine*

That's it, that's the last wine tasting I invite him to!



Spock: For that last time, Commander, no one wants to see "Little Pavel" while we're waiting for Lt. Dax. Now put him away...
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Old March 18 2013, 02:56 AM   #5
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



KIRK: So, this is where the other 400 of you have been hiding all these years!




KIRK: Bottoms up!
SULU: You heard him, Chekov, bend over.
CHEKOV: You svore you vouldn't tell...oh, vhat a giveavay!
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Old March 18 2013, 03:16 AM   #6
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



KIRK: Where's Waldo?
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Old March 18 2013, 02:59 PM   #7
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Kirk: "Okay... this is embarrassing. Just to save time, I've called you all here... Look. If you have been experiencing an itching, burning sensation in... certain regions. And even if you haven't... It's best if you go see Dr McCoy. Just give him half an hour to check himself out first... Dismissed."



Uhura: "If he does that thing he always does with his tongue, to 'impress' the ladies... I'm leaving."
Chekov. "Me too."
Sulu: "I don't know..."



Spock: "You're... Ensign Dax?"
Uhura: "Trill symbionts sure aren't picky about their hosts... Yeesh!"
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Old March 19 2013, 01:22 AM   #8
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Sady, it wasn't the first time Scotty forgot his pants.
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Old March 19 2013, 01:55 AM   #9
golddragon71
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!


Kirk: I've just been informed that Starfleet has redesigned the uniforms and our current uniforms will be switched out once we reach Earth

Crew: YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: I've also been informed that there is an alternate timeline in which my uniform becomes the standard for Starfleet admirals.

Crew:............................................. ..................

Kirk: Yeah that was pretty much my reaction.



dismissed.


Sulu: That's an interesting Shirt Admiral. Where'd you get it?
Kirk: I saw something similar once when i was time-lost in the 25th century



Most of the crew were interested in watching the Trial involving Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy but for some reason the Enterprise's Comm-screens got stuck on a video feed taken from Space station K-7 when Uhura and Chekov were on shore-leave together
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Old March 19 2013, 02:06 AM   #10
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



KIRK: Finally, due to various complaints, all male crewmembers will be required to wear a underwear.
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Old March 19 2013, 06:39 AM   #11
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Kirk: Where the fuck is Scotty?




Kirk: Sulu, your liqueur tastes like...Robitussin.

<Sulu hides Robitussin bottle while he and Uhura exchange eye rolls and sip their two hundred year old Louis XIII Black Pearl Cognac>

Sulu:
Why yes, you're right, Captain. There's Michelob in the fridge.




Spock: You can't wear Star Trek boxer shorts, Mister Scott. It is a canon violation.
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Old March 20 2013, 10:25 PM   #12
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!


"Now remember, only ten of you from this audition will go on to Hollywood so..."
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Old March 20 2013, 10:44 PM   #13
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Kirk: As you know, most of you won't be returning from this mission. So, I've called this meeting to boost morale.




Sulu: Admiral, what's going to happen to the Enterprise?

Kirk: *chugs another*




Spock: Mister Chekov, perhaps you should leave the fan dancing to Commander Uhura.
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Old March 21 2013, 01:00 AM   #14
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



Spock: It wasn't me. I was in the pool with her *points*
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Old March 21 2013, 02:00 AM   #15
Triskelion
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #233: Down the hatch!



You are all new to the Enterprise, so you may not know what to expect. When Mister Spock gets here everybody just ignore his haircut so we can move on.




Chekov: You look like an alcoholic Power Ranger, Keptin.




Spock: Chirpy! Return!
Uhura: What kind of motherflogger trains a parakeet to crack a motherflogging combination lock??

Last edited by Triskelion; March 21 2013 at 08:19 AM.
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