arrrgh!!!!!!!!

[Rhubarbodendron]

LOL what a luck I count myself as TerranBBSer in the first place. For a moment you were at risk of getting disillusioned
btw- very off topic and propably too personal a question - what is the meaning of your avatar? It looks vaguely familiar and I belive it to be some Native American symbol from the southwest. A sun symbol, right?

Colonel Green, explanation accepted. If ever you do feel in the mood for a flame war, please PM me. I have plenty of server space and can easily set up a special flaming board where we can spar or take it out in earnest without injuring hapless bystanders (or violating board policy) - I find the expression "collateral damage" as detestible as inhuman and always try to avoid it.
This invitation goes of course for everyone.

{{{{{{{thestrangequark}}}}}}} I was going to suggest a fancy dress ball, too. Having to wear an ECG for long sounds worse than it is. You get used to it rather quickly and stop getting entangles in the cables.
As many MDs assure me that the patient's set of mind has a big influence on the healing chances, I am not certain if considering your body something to fight against is the ideal point of view. I am more inclined to think of it as something that needs your help and support in a struggle against an invisible enemy.

But if you are hesitant to have a RL birthday party, there's really no reason for not having a really huge online party. We can bring pics of cookies and cakes (with zero sugar) and megabites of your favourite flowers (which will never shrivel) and 10 pages of cyber-hugs. And you could print the thread and make it into a cheer-me-up book for the really dark days.

as for the Batman cape:

[scotpens]

My rant: There is NO SUCH WORD as "alot." "Allot" means to apportion or distribute shares of something. "A lot" is two frickin' words, dammit!

[thestrangequark]

Aww...thanks guys, you're all very sweet. It'll be fine, once the doctors figure out what's wrong -- that's the thing that's hard, is not knowing. Unfortunately when I said my body is trying to kill me, I meant it literally, as type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease, it really is my own body trying to kill me! And some of the big contenders for what's wrong with me now are autoimmune diseases more common in people with type 1 diabetes (thyroid and anemia).

Really, I'm okay though -- I think I come off as more upset and ranty here than in real life, because I don't like to bother people IRL with this stuff. I don't mind whining online, because you all can choose whether or not to read it, but it's a bummer for my friends and family if all I do is moan about not feeling well.

As for parties, they are lovely ideas, but I'm to sick to really have a party. When I get better though, it will be fucking brilliant!

[CorporalClegg]

Rhubarbodendron wrote:

---

For a moment you were at risk of getting disillusioned

Nevah!

Really, I'm just playing the law of averages. I've seen about a dozen or so TBBS women over the years and they were all drop-dead gorgeous. Thing is, though, I don't need a picture to tell me someone is beautiful.

btw- very off topic and propably too personal a question - what is the meaning of your avatar? It looks vaguely familiar and I belive it to be some Native American symbol from the southwest. A sun symbol, right?

Close. It's the New Mexico state flag. And, really, not that personal.

[Tora Ziyal]

TSQ, I wish you weren't having so many medical problems, especially at such a young age.

I too am so tired of dragging medical equipment around! I wore a wound vac for a year. Currently have a PICC line and infusion pump for antibiotics (four more weeks to go) and two surgical drains. I'm tired of meds that make me feel lousy and/or keep me from driving. I'm tired of still needing help from friends....

Sorry, that was supposed to be supportive, but it turned into my own rant.

[Kestra]

Aww, rant away! I'll be here to support the both of you. You're both lovely, strong people and I wish you didn't have to spend so much time and energy being so strong!

[Tora Ziyal]

^ Thank you, Kestra. You're always so sweet.

[Emher]

I agree with Kes, rant away if you want to! Everyone needs a vent. Me and my mom where each others vents when my sister was being EXTREMELY difficult to be around last summer/fall. It helps to just get it out there.

And tsq, you're damned sure we're having a party when you feel better!

[CorporalClegg]

Yes! This is the place for venting, so please vent away.

I'm told I'm an excellent listener ... Err, reader.

[Rhubarbodendron]

heehee, you're an e-reader

today's rant: the new colleague keeps asking me all kinds of stuff. While I have indeed a very wide education, I am not a walking enzyclopedia. I am a biologist, for heaven's sake! I don't know if there is a speed limit for ships on the Danube river or if someone ever thought of taking sediment samples from locks.
That's what google, port authorities, water police and geologists are there for!

And no, drowned animals must not be shoved back into the river - it would count as organic pollution and cost 4k Euros at minimum. They have to be collected and sent to the nearest carcass disposal facility. And who has to collect them depends on who is responsible for the respective river/creek section. The local River Ranger should know the names and phone numbers. And the organisation chart lists the RRs by district.

And no, printers in the other wing of the building don't fall under my competence, as they are zero % biological. But yes, it's completely ok that two strangers just carried the printer/scanner/photocopyer away. (Which I know only because I happened to overhear the admins saying it has to undergo a major repair and we'd get another for the time being.)

Argh! Next time he'll ask me if I happen to know what colour the US-President's underwear has!!
(btw - does anyone happen to know if Obama wears boxers or briefs? I'd consider him quite the briefs type)

[CorporalClegg]

Sorry but the only Obama briefs I care about are the ones he gives to his cabinet.

[Emher]

Obama would probably look good in briefs as well as boxers. Me, I can only really pull off boxers.








I mean....

[thestrangequark]

Thanks for letting me vent.

I get my blood test results tomorrow, and to be honest, I am way more worried that they won't show something wrong than that they will.

When I was first diagnosed with type 1 diabetes I was 12, and it was my first year of middle school. I was sick for about a month before the diagnosis was made. The doctors ran test after test, but everything came back fine. They told me I was just depressed, that it was just teenage hormones kicking in. I started missing school and had a teacher accuse me of making it up to get out of class. My dad accused me of making it up to get attention -- you see, between the ages of 2-12 I'd had about 20 surgeries on my ears to correct severe hearing loss (there was a point when my doctor thought my hearing would never be restored, but even then my dad wouldn't learn sign language, and it was my primary mode of communication until age 5!), so my health often made me the center of attention and he thought I missed that or something. Finally they concluded I was depressed, even though I kept saying I wasn't, that I was just sick. They sent me to a psychiatrist anyway and put me on Luvox -- which I took for only a week, refusing to take anymore.

Two weeks after that I was in the ER at Children's Hospital with DKA (Diabetic Keoacidosis).

The thing is, though, that that month of being told it was all in my head and my attitude, that just stuck with me. Ever since then, every time I get sick I think it's probably just in my head. When I was 12 I dislocated my thumb but didn't tell anyone because I didn't want more drama and figured it probably wasn't that bad. When I was 27 I walked around on a broken foot for a week because I figured it probably wasn't as bad as I was imagining it. I had DKA a second time in my mid-20s but figured it wasn't that bad, and when I finally got myself to the ER they said I was hours away from being intubated and having a through-line put in my chest.

When I told my endocrinologist about the symptoms I'm having now -- heart palpitations, fatigue, weakness, trouble breathing, nerve pain and tingling, fainting spells, night sweats -- he didn't seem to believe me. He just focused on whether I was stressed out or depressed (which I am not). I honestly think it's because I made the mistake of being honest with him about being diagnosed as bipolar. In my experience most doctors are happy to dismiss any symptoms as psychological once they know you've got a mental illness. By being very persistent I got a referral to a cardiologist, who has been wonderful and is taking me seriously -- though I haven't mentioned the bipolar diagnosis to her. But like I said, I'm more scared of nothing being wrong than of something being found in that blood work. There's my rant for the day!

[Robert Maxwell]

thestrangequark wrote:

---

Thanks for letting me vent.

I get my blood test results tomorrow, and to be honest, I am way more worried that they won't show something wrong than that they will.

When I was first diagnosed with type 1 diabetes I was 12, and it was my first year of middle school. I was sick for about a month before the diagnosis was made. The doctors ran test after test, but everything came back fine. They told me I was just depressed, that it was just teenage hormones kicking in. I started missing school and had a teacher accuse me of making it up to get out of class. My dad accused me of making it up to get attention -- you see, between the ages of 2-12 I'd had about 20 surgeries on my ears to correct severe hearing loss (there was a point when my doctor thought my hearing would never be restored, but even then my dad wouldn't learn sign language, and it was my primary mode of communication until age 5!), so my health often made me the center of attention and he thought I missed that or something. Finally they concluded I was depressed, even though I kept saying I wasn't, that I was just sick. They sent me to a psychiatrist anyway and put me on Luvox -- which I took for only a week, refusing to take anymore.

Two weeks after that I was in the ER at Children's Hospital with DKA (Diabetic Keoacidosis).

The thing is, though, that that month of being told it was all in my head and my attitude, that just stuck with me. Ever since then, every time I get sick I think it's probably just in my head. When I was 12 I dislocated my thumb but didn't tell anyone because I didn't want more drama and figured it probably wasn't that bad. When I was 27 I walked around on a broken foot for a week because I figured it probably wasn't as bad as I was imagining it. I had DKA a second time in my mid-20s but figured it wasn't that bad, and when I finally got myself to the ER they said I was hours away from being intubated and having a through-line put in my chest.

When I told my endocrinologist about the symptoms I'm having now -- heart palpitations, fatigue, weakness, trouble breathing, nerve pain and tingling, fainting spells, night sweats -- he didn't seem to believe me. He just focused on whether I was stressed out or depressed (which I am not). I honestly think it's because I made the mistake of being honest with him about being diagnosed as bipolar. In my experience most doctors are happy to dismiss any symptoms as psychological once they know you've got a mental illness. By being very persistent I got a referral to a cardiologist, who has been wonderful and is taking me seriously -- though I haven't mentioned the bipolar diagnosis to her. But like I said, I'm more scared of nothing being wrong than of something being found in that blood work. There's my rant for the day!

You're not the first person I've heard a story like this from--being accused of malingering or not being taken seriously when you have a medical complaint, because you have a mental illness. It's shameful that medical professionals still exhibit this awful stereotyping of people with mental illnesses as fakers and attention-seekers. If we can't get people actually in the healthcare industry to take mental health seriously, it's going to be an uphill battle to get lay people to stop stereotyping and misunderstanding it.

[Emher]

That's terrible. But sadly not surprising. Too many people seem too easy to dismiss things because you have a history of something. Replace illness with bullying and that was my grade school years. I had a diagnosis, so obviously I was the issue, not the bullies.

Keep us updated if you learn anything.


On a lighter note, I stumbled upon your little ukulele bit on your youtube channel the other day. Been humming that song ever since