Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! - Page 2

sbk1234 · February 15 2013, 10:40 PM

The majority of mine involve the F-word.

Also:
"I think you're mistaking me for someone who would speak to someone like you."

mari · February 15 2013, 10:49 PM

"You have a Ph.D., huh? I had no idea they were just giving them out on street corners now."

But other than that, they're a lovely group.

Gaseous Anomaly · February 15 2013, 10:55 PM

Grandma is faster than you and she's dead.

Zion Ravescene · February 15 2013, 11:12 PM

"No."

C.E. Evans · February 15 2013, 11:20 PM

"No, you better tell your Mama to come and clean up this s---, 'cause I'm sure not going to."

"Sooo...I heard you got your promotion by literally bending backwards for the boss. After hours. In his office..."

"Anyone born after 1990 can't tell me nuthin'."

auntiehill · February 16 2013, 12:00 AM

"I don't make the schedules. Go bitch to HR."

Collingwood Nick · February 16 2013, 12:26 AM

Gaseous Anomaly wrote:

Grandma is faster than you and she's dead.

I've used that one before.

Gaseous Anomaly · February 16 2013, 12:57 AM

I really have to watch what I say at work, people on my crew have taken me to HR 5 times in the last year. Luckily it all fell within the scope of my duties and responsibilities. I guess some people just can't handle the truth.

sbk1234 · February 16 2013, 02:27 AM

I've faced similar, by people who KNEW what I was saying was a joke, who have said the same or worse, or who weren't even involved. Plain and simple, people just use inappropriate comments as a weapon nowadays.

sojourner · February 16 2013, 02:58 AM

Hey, nice ass! Wanna come home with me after work?

Mr. Laser Beam · February 16 2013, 04:25 AM

I hope nobody gets in trouble with their actual job because of something they say in this thread.

scotpens · February 16 2013, 05:47 AM

137th Gebirg wrote:

No. 35 of the OP's directly applies to my cube-mate. She wears this nuclear waste product she calls perfume which I refer to as "ode de urinal cake". Seriously - that is exactly what she smells like and she must swim in that vile shit for an hour every morning. It makes me want to wretch every time she breezes in . . .

I don't have a co-worker like that, but we do get walk-in customers who must have bathed that morning in a tubful of horrible-smelling cologne. I want to say to these people, "Are you olfactorily challenged or something? Christ, you smell like a goddamn pimp."

Oh, and it's eau and retch.

Rhubarbodendron · February 16 2013, 01:43 PM

^it's the thought that counts, scotpens

This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!"

macloudt · February 16 2013, 09:40 PM

One of the main things I'm tempted to say to a lot of people is "First World problems", and telling them to suck it up. Some of the complaints we get are so incredibly inane it takes a lot of effort to take them seriously which, sadly, is part of the job.

Warp Coil · February 16 2013, 09:41 PM

Zion Ravescene wrote:

"No."

This is by far my favorite word to use at work. They hate it.

February 15 2013, 10:40 PM	#16
sbk1234 Rear Admiral Location: Los Angeles	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! The majority of mine involve the F-word. Also: "I think you're mistaking me for someone who would speak to someone like you." __________________ In all the history of the world, a riot has NEVER broken out at a Sci-Fi convention. "It's a fucking TV show!" - Gary Lockwood

February 15 2013, 10:49 PM	#17
mari Commander	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! "You have a Ph.D., huh? I had no idea they were just giving them out on street corners now." But other than that, they're a lovely group.

February 15 2013, 10:55 PM	#18
Gaseous Anomaly Wize azz™	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! Grandma is faster than you and she's dead. __________________ KCCO

February 15 2013, 11:12 PM	#19
Zion Ravescene Admirable	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! "No." __________________ "Well, I would like to make another trip," he said, jumping to his feet; "but I really don't know when I'll have the time. There's just so much to do right here."

February 15 2013, 11:20 PM	#20
C.E. Evans Vice Admiral Location: Saint Louis (aka Defiance)	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! "No, you better tell your Mama to come and clean up this s---, 'cause I'm sure not going to." "Sooo...I heard you got your promotion by literally bending backwards for the boss. After hours. In his office..." "Anyone born after 1990 can't tell me nuthin'." __________________ "Shout, shout, let it all out..."

STAR TREK

CSI

ABOUT US

February 16 2013, 12:00 AM	#21
auntiehill Fleet Admiral Location: av by Chemahkuu	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! "I don't make the schedules. Go bitch to HR."

February 16 2013, 12:57 AM	#23
Gaseous Anomaly Wize azz™	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! I really have to watch what I say at work, people on my crew have taken me to HR 5 times in the last year. Luckily it all fell within the scope of my duties and responsibilities. I guess some people just can't handle the truth. __________________ KCCO

February 16 2013, 02:27 AM	#24
sbk1234 Rear Admiral Location: Los Angeles	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! I've faced similar, by people who KNEW what I was saying was a joke, who have said the same or worse, or who weren't even involved. Plain and simple, people just use inappropriate comments as a weapon nowadays. __________________ In all the history of the world, a riot has NEVER broken out at a Sci-Fi convention. "It's a fucking TV show!" - Gary Lockwood

February 16 2013, 02:58 AM	#25
sojourner Vice Admiral Location: I'm at WKRP	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! Hey, nice ass! Wanna come home with me after work? __________________ Baby, you and me were never meant to be, just maybe think of me once in a while...

February 16 2013, 04:25 AM	#26
Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Location: The visitor's bullpen	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! I hope nobody gets in trouble with their actual job because of something they say in this thread. __________________ It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

February 16 2013, 01:43 PM	#28
Rhubarbodendron Fleet Captain Location: Milky Way, outer spiral arm, Sol 3	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! ^it's the thought that counts, scotpens This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!" __________________ Eve is the revised, improved and updated version of Adam [Helen Vita]

February 16 2013, 09:40 PM	#29
macloudt Shut up, I'm counting Location: a Canuck in southwest England	Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate! One of the main things I'm tempted to say to a lot of people is "First World problems", and telling them to suck it up. Some of the complaints we get are so incredibly inane it takes a lot of effort to take them seriously which, sadly, is part of the job. __________________ "Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be."--Mignon McLaughlin My crafting and cooking blog