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Old February 15 2013, 10:40 PM   #16
sbk1234
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

The majority of mine involve the F-word.

Also:
"I think you're mistaking me for someone who would speak to someone like you."
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Old February 15 2013, 10:49 PM   #17
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

"You have a Ph.D., huh? I had no idea they were just giving them out on street corners now."

But other than that, they're a lovely group.
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Old February 15 2013, 10:55 PM   #18
Gaseous Anomaly
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

Grandma is faster than you and she's dead.
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Old February 15 2013, 11:12 PM   #19
Zulu Romeo
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

"No."
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Old February 15 2013, 11:20 PM   #20
C.E. Evans
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

"No, you better tell your Mama to come and clean up this s---, 'cause I'm sure not going to."

"Sooo...I heard you got your promotion by literally bending backwards for the boss. After hours. In his office..."

"Anyone born after 1990 can't tell me nuthin'."
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Old February 16 2013, 12:00 AM   #21
auntiehill
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

"I don't make the schedules. Go bitch to HR."
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Old February 16 2013, 12:26 AM   #22
Collingwood Nick
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

Gaseous Anomaly wrote: View Post
Grandma is faster than you and she's dead.
I've used that one before.
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Old February 16 2013, 12:57 AM   #23
Gaseous Anomaly
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

I really have to watch what I say at work, people on my crew have taken me to HR 5 times in the last year. Luckily it all fell within the scope of my duties and responsibilities. I guess some people just can't handle the truth.
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Old February 16 2013, 02:27 AM   #24
sbk1234
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

I've faced similar, by people who KNEW what I was saying was a joke, who have said the same or worse, or who weren't even involved. Plain and simple, people just use inappropriate comments as a weapon nowadays.
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Old February 16 2013, 02:58 AM   #25
sojourner
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

Hey, nice ass! Wanna come home with me after work?
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Old February 16 2013, 04:25 AM   #26
Ru ru, chu
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

I hope nobody gets in trouble with their actual job because of something they say in this thread.
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Old February 16 2013, 05:47 AM   #27
Olive, the Other Reindeer
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

137th Gebirg wrote: View Post
No. 35 of the OP's directly applies to my cube-mate. She wears this nuclear waste product she calls perfume which I refer to as "ode de urinal cake". Seriously - that is exactly what she smells like and she must swim in that vile shit for an hour every morning. It makes me want to wretch every time she breezes in . . .
I don't have a co-worker like that, but we do get walk-in customers who must have bathed that morning in a tubful of horrible-smelling cologne. I want to say to these people, "Are you olfactorily challenged or something? Christ, you smell like a goddamn pimp."

Oh, and it's eau and retch.
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Old February 16 2013, 01:43 PM   #28
rhubarbodendron
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

^it's the thought that counts, scotpens
This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!"
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Old February 16 2013, 09:40 PM   #29
maclaus
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

One of the main things I'm tempted to say to a lot of people is "First World problems", and telling them to suck it up. Some of the complaints we get are so incredibly inane it takes a lot of effort to take them seriously which, sadly, is part of the job.
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Old February 16 2013, 09:41 PM   #30
Warp Coil
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Re: Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

Zion Ravescene wrote: View Post
"No."
This is by far my favorite word to use at work. They hate it.
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