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Old February 14 2013, 03:38 PM   #76
Mr Awe
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Kestra wrote: View Post
I figure I can always go to my plan B: cats.
Cats are always a good plan. You should have them regardless of whatever else is going on!

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Old February 14 2013, 05:23 PM   #77
iguana_tonante
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

J. Allen wrote: View Post
As it gets closer to Valentine's Day, also known as Singles Awareness Day, I've been waxing philosophical (read: grumbling to myself) about the idea that there is someone for every person, that somewhere in this world is at least one person who would love to know you, and be with you, that you would make their lives whole.

Anyway, what do you think?
That you should stop grumbling to yourself and go out more.
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Old February 14 2013, 06:11 PM   #78
Rhubarbodendron
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

LOL not very diplomatically put but propably the best advice. If you don't search, you can't find (or be found).

Sometimes, when you find someone, even though he/she is perfect it still might not work because of circumstances you can not influence (happened to me. Twice). Still, the important thing is to not give up but simply try again.
And again. And again...

And even if you're so lucky to form a relationship, never make the mistake to take it for granted. People nowadays give up at the slightest difficulty and get divorced rather than trying to really work on a relationship and find a way *together*.
Admittedly, it's easy to fall in love and quite another thing to stay immersed. But here, too, not giving up pays. After a while there won't be the initial fire anymore, but if you have the patience, devotion and courage to go on instead of walking away, gradually something calm and deep will develop that you couldn't have imagined in your wildest dreams.
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Old February 14 2013, 07:03 PM   #79
Mr Awe
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

iguana_tonante wrote: View Post
J. Allen wrote: View Post
As it gets closer to Valentine's Day, also known as Singles Awareness Day, I've been waxing philosophical (read: grumbling to myself) about the idea that there is someone for every person, that somewhere in this world is at least one person who would love to know you, and be with you, that you would make their lives whole.

Anyway, what do you think?
That you should stop grumbling to yourself and go out more.
Yeah, you're at least the 10th person who has said that.

Doesn't make you incorrect, just repetitive.

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Old February 14 2013, 07:10 PM   #80
doubleohfive
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Gonna lay down some wisdom for you all:

Bitching about everyone else being coupled off or how "Valentine's SUCKS!" is infinitely more irritating, self-absorbed, and short-sighted than *ANY* couple boasting of their coupledom will ever be.

I get being single and lonely is tough on a day like this, but its only as tough as you let it be.
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Old February 14 2013, 07:26 PM   #81
Darth Duck
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

doubleohfive wrote: View Post
Gonna lay down some wisdom for you all:

Bitching about everyone else being coupled off or how "Valentine's SUCKS!" is infinitely more irritating, self-absorbed, and short-sighted than *ANY* couple boasting of their coupledom will ever be.

I get being single and lonely is tough on a day like this, but its only as tough as you let it be.
As a single, lonely guy, I agree with this.
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Old February 14 2013, 07:27 PM   #82
RAMA
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

I hate the word soulmates..but I do think there are people who fit that description, its a sliding scale of compatability after that, and its possible for any number of people to get along amazingly well for any one person. The one person for everybody is a myth and fantasy, partially spread by religion and culture which makes for a lot of confused people all over the world. Monogamy is something we aspire to, but reality is usually quite different.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTpwl...31D005E26C9C62
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Last edited by RAMA; February 14 2013 at 07:46 PM.
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Old February 14 2013, 07:57 PM   #83
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

A long-term relationship is extremely rewarding but is hard work. As others have said, it involves a lot of compromise, and as people change over the years those compromises may also need to change. Another absolute must IMO is that you must be friends with your partner. There's no need to live in each other's pockets and do absolutely everything together (that would drive both me and my husband batshit insane), but there needs to be that connection and a true longing to do some things together and be comfortable with each other. If you can't laugh together, something is wrong.

My relationship with my husband sure as hell hasn't been all sunshine and unicorn farts. We were separated for 1 1/2 years, have tackled several demons, and still, after almost 18 years, have the occasional argument that must either frighten or amuse the neighbours (part of the joy of living in a semi-detached house with good acoustics). It's how we are. Our relationship isn't perfect, but perfection must never be the aim of a relationship, because that level of expectation will only lead to disappointment. It's about both of us being equally committed to make it work. We drive each other nuts sometimes, but I wouldn't be without him.
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Old February 14 2013, 07:58 PM   #84
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Ood Sigma wrote: View Post
^ I was just thinking about this. People change and so do relationships. I know that at one time I considered my wife to be my "soul mate" and I couldn't have imagined being happy with anyone else. However not only has our relationship changed in the last few years, but both of us have changed in terms of personality and interests. I no longer feel as close to her as I once did.

I have no idea how things will work out in the future, but I am sure I would never regret being with her or have ill feelings.
Everyone changes over time. The trick with a couple is for both people to change together "in sync". It doesn't mean you're doing everything in life together, but as you grow you find ways to keep an emotionally intimate connection but also continue forging your own identity. "You complete me" is doomed to failure. People need to have some freedom of independence in a relationship. Where I see relationships tending to fail is when one person is insecure enough to crave enmeshment above all else. "I don't want to live any minute of my life without you here with me." That's emotional smothering.

Mr Awe wrote: View Post
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He got to her ahead of me. I was so bitter with fate for quite a long time after that...
Hopefully instead of just being bitter with fate you actually learned something from this? You actually had the upper hand in this because you met her first! Strike while the kettle is hot!
Oh yeah, you can believe that. Carpe diem! I repeated similar scenarios of not striking when the kettle was hot and so at this point I'm much more aware of the fleeting nature of it all. A passive stance is doomed to fail.

It took me a very long while, but I eventually learned that relationships are like being an actor going for an audition. You can guarantee that you will get rejected most of the time but you need to not see it as being inadequate but simply not a match. I used to treat rejection as being the loser, which was a vicious circle towards lowering my self-esteem. The healthy mindset is recognizing that the other person doesn't even know you yet. Rejection is often over superficial things that you have no control over. And, you wouldn't want to be with that person anyway if they can't see beyond them.
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Old February 14 2013, 09:33 PM   #85
Mr Awe
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

^^ It sounds like you came away from that with an awesome mindset!
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Old February 14 2013, 09:43 PM   #86
iguana_tonante
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Mr Awe wrote: View Post
iguana_tonante wrote: View Post
That you should stop grumbling to yourself and go out more.
Yeah, you're at least the 10th person who has said that.

Doesn't make you incorrect, just repetitive.
The day I actually read a Misc thread about relationships is the day my balls wilt and fall off.
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Old February 14 2013, 09:44 PM   #87
doubleohfive
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

iguana_tonante wrote: View Post
Mr Awe wrote: View Post
iguana_tonante wrote: View Post
That you should stop grumbling to yourself and go out more.
Yeah, you're at least the 10th person who has said that.

Doesn't make you incorrect, just repetitive.
The day I actually read a Misc thread about relationships is the day my balls wilt and fall off.
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Old February 14 2013, 09:51 PM   #88
Deckerd
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Iguana is Italian. They are genetically predisposed to be irresistible. Also he is a lizard, so all he has to do is wave a paw and change colour and the females are battling to get to him.
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Old February 14 2013, 10:20 PM   #89
macloudt
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

As an aside, here's the Facebook status I just posted as Husband and I were watching ST VI:

"As further proof [Husband] and I were made for each other, we're watching the scene where Kirk swims in the lower part of the ship to manually open the doors so the whales can escape, and while I say "Wow, that's some serious wig glue", [Husband] simultaneously says "Ah, the miracles of 23rd century wig technology". When two become one and all that."
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Old February 14 2013, 10:26 PM   #90
iguana_tonante
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Deckerd wrote: View Post
Iguana is Italian. They are genetically predisposed to be irresistible. Also he is a lizard, so all he has to do is wave a paw and change colour and the females are battling to get to him.
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