Do you believe there is someone for every person?

[J. Allen]

As it gets closer to Valentine's Day, also known as Singles Awareness Day, I've been waxing philosophical (read: grumbling to myself) about the idea that there is someone for every person, that somewhere in this world is at least one person who would love to know you, and be with you, that you would make their lives whole.

I've generally made the joke that knowing my luck, my special someone lives in China, away from all known modern communications.

Still, I think that statistically speaking, someone on this planet will share your interests and appreciate you for who you are.

Anyway, what do you think?

[RoJoHen]

Unless you're some kind of psychopathic murderer rapist, there is someone out there for you. Sometimes they're hard to spot, and if you're not paying attention, they will probably pass you by.

[thestrangequark]

Oh, my dear! You are far too rational for that!

And before teacake ninja's me:

[Ood Sigma]

I think the problem is in assuming that there's only one person who you are truly compatible with. I think we romanticize the notion of a "soul mate". It may be difficult for people who have trouble expressing their feelings to others, but I think if you are serious about finding someone, anyone should be able to. Just don't limit yourself and wonder if he/she's "the one" and pass up a good thing in search of some nebulous "something better".

[Bigjoe]

RoJoHen wrote:

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Unless you're some kind of psychopathic murderer rapist, there is someone out there for you. Sometimes they're hard to spot, and if you're not paying attention, they will probably pass you by.

I have to agree,so long as your looking for Love it will show itself to you.

[EmoBorg]

I don't believe in that. You are born alone in this world and you die alone in this world. The only person you can trust 100% is you yourself.

[J. Allen]

RoJoHen wrote:

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Unless you're some kind of psychopathic murderer rapist, there is someone out there for you. Sometimes they're hard to spot, and if you're not paying attention, they will probably pass you by.

Actually, statistically speaking, there is someone out there for a psychopathic murderer rapist. We've seen the end results, but yes. Also, that's a bit grim, isn't it?

thestrangequark wrote:

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Oh, my dear! You are far too rational for that!

And before teacake ninja's me:

I have an undying love of Tim Minchin.
I do think in terms of rationality, but as I say, I am a romantic, and so there are romanticisms that make little logical sense that I like to entertain.

Ood Sigma wrote:

---

I think the problem is in assuming that there's only one person who you are truly compatible with. I think we romanticize the notion of a "soul mate". It may be difficult for people who have trouble expressing their feelings to others, but I think if you are serious about finding someone, anyone should be able to. Just don't limit yourself and wonder if he/she's "the one" and pass up a good thing in search of some nebulous "something better".

Oh, certainly. In my initial post I make certain to say that there is at least one other person, and I allow for the chance that there are many, many more.

[Chemahkuu]

No.

[Timelord_Victorious]

There is no destined mate. I don't buy that for a second.

There are enough potential mates for most people to find someone to spend a good portion of their lives with.

[J. Allen]

Bigjoe wrote:

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I have to agree,so long as your looking for Love it will show itself to you.

I do agree that actively looking for someone "compatible" dramatically increases one's chances of finding a significant other (or others).

EmoBorg wrote:

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I don't believe in that. You are born alone in this world and you die alone in this world. The only person you can trust 100% is you yourself.

Well, yeah. Might as well try to find companionship in the interim.

Chemahkuu wrote:

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No.

Are you sure?

Timelord_Victorious wrote:

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There is no destined mate. I don't buy that for a second.

There are enough potential mates for most people to find someone to spend a good portion of their lives with.

Oh, I'm not talking pre-destination. I put that in the same category as "soul mate", by which it is a very strongly romantic notion, but even for a romantic such as myself it's just a little too much.

I'm looking more along the lines of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". That there is someone (or someones) out there that will find you beautiful/attractive/someone worth knowing and loving.

[auntiehill]

Lots of people could be potential mates for each other---however, people are often not willing to compromise; they expect perfection right off the bat and that simply doesn't happen.

[Asbo Zaprudder]

No, House even wrote a song about it:

[Kestra]

It's a weird way to frame it. There are different things at work. Is there someone who will find you attractive? Is there someone out there who will find you compatible for a long term relationship? And implied in these is that you reciprocate. It doesn't do you any good if someone is attracted to you if you aren't attracted to them, for example.

In terms of relationships, my views are obviously changing now. I mean, I know I can find someone who wants to be with me in the short term. But can I find someone who I am compatible with who is also mature and would make a dedicated long term partner? That gets into personality traits that you need for long term relationships independent of personal compatibility issues.

With so many people in the world, yes, there is probably someone out there who would be into you (general you). But like you said, it doesn't do you any good if they are on the other side of the world. So instead, we do things to increase our chances of compatibility. You work on making yourself more attractive to a wide range of people instead of a select few. You learn to be flexible and compromise in a relationship because no one will ever complement you exactly.

You can't go looking for someone to make your life whole. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's way too much pressure. Learn to be a whole person and attach your life to another's because you want to, not because you need to.

[Timelord_Victorious]

Kestra wrote:

---

It's a weird way to frame it. There are different things at work. Is there someone who will find you attractive? Is there someone out there who will find you compatible for a long term relationship? And implied in these is that you reciprocate. It doesn't do you any good if someone is attracted to you if you aren't attracted to them, for example.

In terms of relationships, my views are obviously changing now. I mean, I know I can find someone who wants to be with me in the short term. But can I find someone who I am compatible with who is also mature and would make a dedicated long term partner? That gets into personality traits that you need for long term relationships independent of personal compatibility issues.

With so many people in the world, yes, there is probably someone out there who would be into you (general you). But like you said, it doesn't do you any good if they are on the other side of the world. So instead, we do things to increase our chances of compatibility. You work on making yourself more attractive to a wide range of people instead of a select few. You learn to be flexible and compromise in a relationship because no one will ever complement you exactly.

You can't go looking for someone to make your life whole. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's way too much pressure. Learn to be a whole person and attach your life to another's because you want to, not because you need to.

Great post.

[YellowSubmarine]

If there is only one person for you out there, you're in big big trouble (WARNING: link is too nerdy and too serious for the topic in question). I sincerely hope there is much more than one person for every person.