VOY Caption Contest 102, couples never meant to be; Janeway/Chakotay

[Ln X]

The weekend begins here, and this particular caption contest is devoted to the whole Janeway/Chakotay relationship (or lack of), and in particular to Janeway herself.

With that said here are the winners...

Bry_Sinclair wrote:

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Suck it Beltran! I can do a nude scene without a body double!

LeadHead wrote:

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Freddy Bristow: I know they're happy and married, but why did they have to send me this and rub it in?

hux wrote:

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Tom: 130 big mac meals please

Nerys Myk wrote:

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JANEWAY: This is it, Tuvok. The source of all lensflare!

The Laughing Vulcan wrote:

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Neelix: "I've seen this movie. We've got to get them killing each other to jump start their evolution. Make like a lifeless rectangular black stone."
Kes: "We should have brought Chakotay."

And now the special award, and I must say there was some awesome photoshopping which went down!

Nerys Myk wrote:

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NEELIX: These humans appear to be mute, but I think we'll be safe on this planet.

The photoshop award goes to:

T'Girl wrote:

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James Kirk: "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play."

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As I explained above this caption contest is devoted to J/C so fire away!













Next caption contest will start on the 15th of February.

Have fun!

[Ln X]

Janeway: Every year there are fewer of our number...
Chakotay: You know if we have any chance of survival we need to start thinking of Voyager as a generation ship...
Janeway: Are you trying to say something commander?
Chakotay: Erm...


Doctor: Captain you are suffering from all the symptoms of sexual suppression, either indulge yourself in the holodeck or pair up with someone on the crew, preferably not Neelix!


Chakotay: Tuvok I need your advice, I'm trying to date the captain and since you are her most closest friend I wonder if you could give me any pointers?
Tuvok: I have noticed that the captain likes people with emotion and personality, something which the passing years have robbed you of commander.


Despite Chakotay's best efforts, even going to the lengths of arranging a vacation for his captain, he just could not win Janeway's heart...


Janeway thinking: The search continues...

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Weird, it says "Starship Class". I thought the Enterprise was a Constitution class ship.



EMH: I'm pretty sure it's just indigestion from Neelix's Leola Root pie. You don't need an exorcism.

[Candlelight]

"We're on Voyager? All this time I thought it was V'Ger."



"Doctor, is that your hand?"



"I don't get the joke, what is a mechanical rice picker anyway?"



"How you doin?"



Janeway remembering she left Chakotay locked in the steam room in 3... 2... 1...

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!



Janeway: "V'Ger... V... O... Y... A... Damn it! Not again! Chakotay, I want you to find the smart alec who keeps defacing the ship's ID plates, and airlock them. It wasn't funny the first twenty times..."



EMH: "Sometimes people would rather talk to a priest than a doctor. I'm covering all bases... I also mix a mean cocktail."



Chakotay: "Blah blah blah... spirit guide... blah blah blah Akoochimoya... blah blah blah ancestors..."

Tuvok thinking: "Vulcan telepathy is a scientifically quantifiable process. You think that gives us a point of familiarity? You think I enjoy wasting time that could be spent on security drills, listening to your superstitions. Next you'll be telling me about that human two and half thousand years ago that walked on water. Bunch of primitives."



Chakotay: "Cheer up. It's a great planet, we're getting back to nature, in an idyllic forest. Look at the trees, the birds, the sixteen foot tall chipmunks. Can you tell me that this is really that bad?"

Janeway: "..."

Chakotay: "Before you voice that thought, let me tell you that any 'wooden' jokes will definitely kill the mood."




Janeway thinking: "No Chakotay around. I guess this is what they mean by missing the forest for the trees."

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Here's how it goes, I'm a naive farmboy and you're a snarky princess. I fall in love with you, but it turns out you're my sister....

JANEWAY: Wait....what?????

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Hm, what do you know. It says here that Voyager was named by pointing at a page in the urban dictionary. It was very nearly named the "Vote for Pedro."




Captain, about your confession....

Yes, Father?

I was hoping you could show me the sketches you drew of Seven.




You're right, Tuvok. Your sideburns are off by a millimeter or two. But I like the shave art "Live long and suck it."




Ever see a woodsman handle an axe?

No. but I saw him whittling his twig.




Maybe they all lost my Spacebook address.

[TommyR01D]

Doctor: I take it you plan to simply sweep all of this under the rug.

Janeway: So long as nobody got hurt.

Distant Redshirt: Help...me!

Janeway: (Louder) Just walk away calmly...

Redshirt: Arrrgh!!

Janway: (Louder still)...and pretend this never happened.

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Come to think of it, wasn't the original Voyager a probe they shot out of the solar system without any intention of bringing back?
CHAKOTAY: It all makes sense now! This was all a plan to get rid of you!



JANEWAY: Doctor, about your new Battlestar Galactica holo-novel. I don't know how I feel about you playing the role of Brother Cavell.
DOCTOR: I don't approve of his methods, but Brother Cavell is a hero in the struggle for AI rights.




CHAKOTAY: You know what I just realized Tuvok? You've blatantly disregarded orders far more often than I have, or even Tom Paris, but you've never gotten in trouble for it.
TUVOK: Indeed. Nobody suspects the Vulcan.



CHAKOTAY: You know Catherine, when you think about it, we're really the perfect match.
JANEWAY: I agree. One dominating woman, and one total pushover.
Chakotay: ...I'll take it.



JANEWAY: Sure, everybody is dead except The Doctor, Seven and myself. But still, I WILL GET THIS CREW HOME!

[Finn]

Janeway: Adm. G Roddenberry? That's odd. I think he was also on the Al-Batani's

Chakotay: Wasn't Al-Batani commissioned late in the 23rd Century?

Janeway: Yeah, and who's the hell are Braga and Berman?

Chakotay: Sounds like a couple of schmucks over at Utopia Planitia

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!



Janeway: All these years, all these battles this things never fallen down before.

Chakotay: (thinking) Was that a pickup line?




Janeway: Bless me, Doctor, for I have sinned.

The Doctor: I know. Next time, remember to say "Janeway Out" Before you start going at it with your First Officer!



Tuvok: Captain, it has come to the attention of the crew that you and Commander Chakotay are as Mister Paris calls it: "knocking boots."

Chakotay: And?

Tuvok: The crew hasn't stopped laughing for 200 light years.



Chakotay: This was a great idea, Kathryn. A vacation away from it all.

Janeway: Yeah, you see... this really isn't working for me anymore. It's not you, it's me. But I'm still the Captain, so I keep the ship. Goodbye, Chakotay.




Janeway: Hmmm... maybe it was overkill to just abandon him on that planet when we broke up. Oh, well. Warp Factor 8, Mister Paris.

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Hm, it says here Voyager was commissioned on June 15, in honor of Jim Varney's birthday.




EMH: Captain, as your father confessor, I really must protest your choice of recreational proclivities.

Janeway: Sorry Doctor, it was dark and the hayloft was crowded. I'll try to work you in tonight.

EMH: I'm a hologram too, s'all I'm saying.




Tuvok: The Captain asked me to accompany her to Fairhaven.

Chakotay: Oh? Is she going to take you into the hayloft?

Tuvok: Perhaps. It depends on how well her blind date goes.

Chakotay: Better check your star chart, because you just crossed into the Friend Zone.




Chakotay: Something you should know about us outdoorsy types. We like our women to have acute spatial reasoning.

Janeway: Thanks, I am cute and special, now tell me the reasons.




Janeway: <Lifts one cheek and farts>
Harry: I'm still here, Captain.
Janeway: Computer, delete the Ensign.
Harry: Still not a hologram, Captain.

[teacake]

I approve of the title of this contest.

[Triskelion]

Janeway: It says here that someone named Teacake approved of the title of this thread.
Chakotay: Your hair smells like coconut and cigarettes.



Janeway: But it is L'amour impossible - the forbidden love!
Chakotay: I don't care! You knew I was a treehugger when you met me!

[LeadHead]

TommyR01D wrote:

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Janeway: Doctor, are you sure that it's a good idea to masquerade as a Catholic priest? Aren't you worried about divine punishment?

The Doctor: Not at all...