Question

[teacake]

OP do you not enjoy diversity?

You seem to be recoiling from that which is not you or, presumably, your father.

[Kenbushway]

sidious618 wrote:

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My opinion on this is obvious from my previous posts but I'll extrapolate a little through personal experience. I live on Long Island which is outside of NYC but surprisingly different from. It is a very close minded area and definitely has the same view as the OP on what makes a "real man."

You can probably guess that I don't fit this stereotype although it has nothing to do with being a nerd. It has to do with the fact that, apparently, to most LIers I am a gay man. I'm not. But I guess my actions and personality make them think that. For example, I have pretty much ZERO talent with mechanical things or with fixing broken appliances. I dress very well, button down shirts and nice jeans. I also wear tighter clothing because I like the way it looks. I am artsy, for Long Island at least, and would rather talk about movies or books than sports or beer or whatever else.

I'm also a bit feminine (again, in their opinion- I don't think there's such a thing as definite feminine behavior) in my behavior. I tend to wave my hands around a lot while talking and I'm very expressive as opposed to stoic and don't have much of a "manly" walk.

Now I could easily change some of this. I've always refused as it would be a lie. But I can't say that it's not frustrating and has made it difficult for me to make friends here. Since I've been in the city more I've made a lot more pals.

I also want to add that by no means am I trying to say I have it as hard as men who are gay- definitely not true. I'm just saying the fact that I'm perceived as gay or not a real man or both has hurt me a lot throughout my life. I've tried my best to remain true to myself, though.

Do you know how to turn a screwdriver? I never said anything about clothing.

[sidious618]

Who cares if I know how to turn a screwdriver? That's totally irrelevant to my worth as a person.

[thestrangequark]

Jesus, ken. Have you read anything that's been posted?

[Kenbushway]

thestrangequark wrote:

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Jesus, ken. Have you read anything that's been posted?

I have but I had to point out that he was going to extremes and putting things in there that I didn't say.

I also want to add: People this is my opinion, I asked a question. I did not say this was how it had to be, this is just my opinion. My opinion doesn't mean shit to any of you, so why take it as such an insult? Do you really care if you fall into my category of what I perceive to be a few definitions of man?

[sojourner]

Say, this is a bit of a side track to the topic, but I just got to thinking. (a rarity to be sure) What's the sub-context in movies with women helping men with their ties?

[SeerSGB]

sidious618 wrote:

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Who cares if I know how to turn a screwdriver? That's totally irrelevant to my worth as a person.

I'm trying to figure myself out in context of this thread:

-- I can rebuild a engine, frame a wall, lay a floor, shingle a roof, haul block and lumber, a constant workaholic, go days without shaving, foul mouthed, and don't mind getting dirty and working up a sweat.

-- I'm, a stay at home dad. I also do the cooking, laundry, and most of the sewing for the house, help with the diapers, read to the kids, and have zero issue walking down the feminine hygiene aisle at the grocery store. Hate the smell of beer, but I'm addicted to tea. Hate football and NASCAR but I love anime. And I vote democrat


Am I a man, our do I just not give a fuck about gender stereotypes

Don't worry about what is a "real man" and just worry about being a good human.

[Nerys Myk]

sojourner wrote:

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Say, this is a bit of a side track to the topic, but I just got to thinking. (a rarity to be sure) What's the sub-context in movies with women helping men with their ties?

Usually seems to be a mothering thing.

[teacake]

Nerys Myk wrote:

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Usually seems to be a mothering thing.

NO!! gah, it is about dicks. Duh.

[teacake]

SeerSGB wrote:

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Don't worry about what is a "real man" and just worry about being a good human.

That's all you need to know.

[Nerys Myk]

teacake wrote:

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NO!! gah, it is about dicks. Duh.

Nah, it's a dick when the woman leads a man around by it.

[tighr]

sidious618 wrote:

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For example, I have pretty much ZERO talent with mechanical things or with fixing broken appliances. I dress very well, button down shirts and nice jeans. I also wear tighter clothing because I like the way it looks. I am artsy, for Long Island at least, and would rather talk about movies or books than sports or beer or whatever else.

You sound more like Jay Gatsby, and he got tons of tail. He's a real man, some would say a Great man.

[sidious618]

Kenbushway wrote:

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I have but I had to point out that he was going to extremes and putting things in there that I didn't say.

I also want to add: People this is my opinion, I asked a question. I did not say this was how it had to be, this is just my opinion. My opinion doesn't mean shit to any of you, so why take it as such an insult? Do you really care if you fall into my category of what I perceive to be a few definitions of man?

If you reread my post you'll see that I wasn't talking just about you. I was talking about life experiences in general.

tighr wrote:

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You sound more like Jay Gatsby, and he got tons of tail. He's a real man, some would say a Great man.

I love it. Oddly enough, I taught the book to an English class and when I asked them to cast Gatsby they said they wanted to cast me.

[Pingfah]

Nerys Myk wrote:

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Usually seems to be a mothering thing.

It's just easier for someone standing in front of you to tie it, than to tie it yourself cracking your neck to look down at it.

I solved this issue by not ever wearing a tie for the last 15 years.

[Trekker4747]

thestrangequark wrote:

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Also:

:raises hand: That's me. I'll do it, doesn't bother me any.

Pingfah wrote:

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It's just easier for someone standing in front of you to tie it, than to tie it yourself cracking your neck to look down at it.

I solved this issue by not ever wearing a tie for the last 15 years.

I suspect it'd be harder to tie a tie "backward" as woman would have to do it facing the man. I think it's a "mothering" thing as well, in showing how the woman would "care for the man," also goes along with the "men are idiots" trope.