VOY Caption This 101; A Fresh Start!

[Ln X]

I'm starting this next caption contest a week earlier because the previous one did not seem so popular. I admit that the last caption contest was a bit of an experiment, I wanted to try something different and in any case we're going back to basics with this contest.

Our winner (there would only be one winner) from the last contest is:

R. Star wrote:

---

Chakotay: We're going to attack that Kazon encampment over that ridge.
Kim: Shouldn't we call for reinforcements?
Chakotay: I'm a main character. Nothing bad can happen to me. Follow me!



Hogan: How'd you survive that ambush Harry? Everyone else died.
Kim: I curled into a fetal position and started crying like a little girl. The Kazon decided they could harm Voyager more by letting me live..



Neelix: I looked up old Indian customs and apparently we're supposed to dine on his flesh to honor his memory. And smoke lots of dope.
Paris: Way ahead of you Neelix.
Kim: Wait! That's right, Chakotay is dead! I might be up for a promotion!



ECH: In my first role as the ship's new first officer, I am to evaluate all the personnel files. It shows here that you're on pace to break the existing tenure as longest ensign. Your request for promotion will be considered.



Janeway: Promote Kim?
Seven: According to my projections his rate of whining will increase by a rate of 30% a day, until he finally does. He will be bothering you an average of 28 times a day on the issue tomorrow for example.
Janeway: Ugh, promote him just to shut him up. Give him the news.



Kim: I'm promoted to lieutenant? And you're my promotion gift?
Seven: You may service the collective now, lieutenant.
Kim: This is all a dream isn't it?
Seven: Mmm-hmm. You didn't think I'd throw myself at you a second time in the real world did you? Your wet dream will be waking you up momentarily.

///


Congratulations to our winner, and now the next batch of pictures to be captioned:











The next contest will start on the 8th of February.

Have fun!

[Ln X]

Janeway: Must you really paint down there?
Nechani guide: All part of the ritual cleansing captain.


Many years later B'Elanna would use this picture to keep her hatred of Tom simmering on, she would have killed him for cheating on her but he had vanished without a trace...


Tom: Space has speed limits?


Janeway: God, is that you?


Neelix: Don't worry Kes, I'm a survival expert so living with these primitives should be no problem at all.

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Is this really part of the ritual?
MAN IN FOREGROUND: Ritual? Oh, this is awkward. You were looking for the other temple.



B'elana fondly remembers her first love, Nick Lacarno, and realizes similar as they may look, Tom will never replace him in her heart.



MAN: Lieutenant, you call those primitive vector graphics a combat simulator?
PARIS: Combat simulator? This is a vintage recreation of the original Star Wars arcade game, from back before they knew about epilepsy!




KES: What's going on Neelix?
NEELIX: Okay, hear me out. I'm trying to build relationships with these primitives, and the village chief is really into swinging.

[Bry_Sinclair]

JANEWAY: This is ridiculous! Can't we get some big-breasted blonde Borg onboard to be a sex symbol? Its rather degrading for a Starship Captain to be stripped naked.


Suck it Beltran! I can do a nude scene without a body double!


Alien of the Week: So should I insert joystick gag here?

[LeadHead]

Janeway: When I get my hands on Neelix for recommending this spa....



Freddy Bristow: I know they're happy and married, but why did they have to send me this and rub it in?




Paris: Computer, change the channel, this Efoxnewsian Commentator is driving me up the wall.



Janeway: I've finally found you. From Hell's Heart, I stab at thee!

Tuvok: It is an impressive achievement, Captain. I congratulate you on finding the original Blue Screen of Death.




Neelix: This is the last time I ever complain about not going on enough Away Missions.

[hux]

Janeway: computer, freeze programme....computer, create seven of nine and vibrating apparatus now
Holo Seven: Captain, how may i assist you.....Vvvrrrrrrrrrrrr



Megan Delaney: i'll make it look like an accident and then he'll be mine



Tom: 130 big mac meals please



Janeway: So you're saying we can just boil all the dead crew in there and make a stew
Tuvok: Indeed, in fact, you ate the dead Naomi Wildman baby last month



Kes: I play spin the bottle with 11 guys and it still ends up landing on bloody Neelix......typical

[Finn]

Wesley: Give it up, Nick. They are onto you!

Nicholas: *in Whoopi Goldberg's voice* Shut up, kid!

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: This is it, Tuvok. The source of all lensflare!



JANEWAY: I was young and needed the money!!!!

SEVEN: You don't look that young in the picture.

Janeway gives Seven a withering glare.



JANEWAY: You're right, Torres. He is way too into gaming.

[Triskelion]

Janeway: What? Naked rubdowns are part of these spiritual-type rituals, everybody knows that.

Monk: Whatever, lady. It's your nickel.

[T'Girl]

James Kirk: "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play."



Neelix: "Four star resort my hairy spotted arse, if I ever get my hand on the priceline dot com guy, I'm going to slap his teeth out."

[Triskelion]

Neelix: They want us to demonstrate how our species reproduce.
Kes: He was offering you a s'more.

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Neelix: "I've seen this movie. We've got to get them killing each other to jump start their evolution. Make like a lifeless rectangular black stone."
Kes: "We should have brought Chakotay."

[Triskelion]

Alien: We're intrigued by your dual joystick idea. We've been looking for a way to even out our non-masturbation arms.

Tom: We were once much like you.



Janeway: Did you take the foil off?

[Nerys Myk]

NEELIX: These humans appear to be mute, but I think we'll be safe on this planet.

[Triskelion]

^ GOod one!



Janeway: You promise it will be tasteful?
Alien Photographer <flips camera setting to black and white>: Of course.