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View Poll Results: Spanking, a valid form of punishment?
Spanking is a valid form of punishment 19 59.38%
Spanking isn't a valid form of punishment 13 40.63%
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

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Old January 29 2013, 06:46 AM   #1
Kenbushway
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Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

I was in a discussion on Huffington Post were I was debating that spanking was a valid punishment, at least when its not done to excess because than it can become abuse. I was spanked myself, I certainly think its works if done right; teaches right and wrong effectively. I was told what I did wrong and how I can avoid it next time along with my spanking.
So I am wondering is there any parents that practice it anymore?
Is it pretty much thought of as abuse now?
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Old January 29 2013, 07:12 AM   #2
trekkiedane
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Not a parent myself, but my sister and my best friend are...

Yes, violence against children -be it physical or emotional- is considered abuse these days! -No wonder we turned out how we did... back then it was OK to hit your kids or yell at them
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Old January 29 2013, 09:48 AM   #3
Deckerd
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Hitting defenceless children isn't an answer to anything. I didn't hit mine and she's fine.

The only time I did was when she was about 15 and she was talking to me while I was watching something on TV so I wasn't paying attention. She got angry and kicked me hard on the shin. I don't think she meant to do it that hard but any way I stood up and slapped her face. That's the sorry story of violence in our house.
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Old January 29 2013, 10:00 AM   #4
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Deckerd wrote: View Post
The only time I did was when she was about 15 and she was talking to me while I was watching something on TV so I wasn't paying attention. She got angry and kicked me hard on the shin. I don't think she meant to do it that hard but any way I stood up and slapped her face. That's the sorry story of violence in our house.
Out of curiosity, do you consider yourself a better parent than those who spank? (I assume so, considering your wording of your first sentence.)

The reason I ask is because you hit your child in the face out of anger, and my father spanked my bottom as punishment but he never did it angry.
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Old January 29 2013, 11:09 AM   #5
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

I slapped her face to make sure she didn't go round kicking people. There's a difference. I often got very angry with her but we have a brain for a reason and if you use it properly you can always outsmart a child, simply because they don't have your experience.
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Old January 29 2013, 11:12 AM   #6
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Deckerd wrote: View Post
I slapped her face to make sure she didn't go round kicking people. There's a difference.
I got spanked to teach me not to do something again. (The main one I remember was for playing with matches.) What is the difference you speak of?
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Old January 29 2013, 11:15 AM   #7
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

You implied that I only lashed out at her because I was angry.
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Old January 29 2013, 11:23 AM   #8
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

I only spanked my children when they did something dangerous and they were too young to reason with.

For example, early one morning I woke up to the sound of water running. I quickly got and went to investigate, saw that water was flowiing out from the bathroom. I went in and found that my second son (the intellectually disabled one) was in the bath with both taps turned on. After pulling him out of the bath and turning the taps off I slapped him hard three or four times on the back of the legs as he could have drowned or scalded himself.

When the children were older I tended to make them stand in the corner if they misbehaved. i even did it once in a cafe when my eldest son played up and a couple of other diners and the cafe owner thanked me for it.


PS - I didn't vote because I think that spanking is very occasionally a valid frm of punishment but generally speaking it isn't.
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Old January 29 2013, 11:32 AM   #9
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Deckerd wrote: View Post
You implied that I only lashed out at her because I was angry.
You're right. I mistook the mention of her anger for yours, and I apologize.

But is there a difference between my father hitting my bottom and you hitting her face?
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Old January 29 2013, 11:35 AM   #10
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Only inasmuch as she was as big as I was, so the balance was a lot more even. She could have decked me if that was her intent. As it was she was completely shocked, which was my intention. I didn't actually hurt her. I'm way too much of a wuss.
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Old January 29 2013, 12:11 PM   #11
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

I was spanked as a child, but not excessively, just when I did things like run out into the road. I don't specifically remember it happening, but my parents tell me it did.

By far the worst spanking I ever had was off a teacher though, even though I was only 6 (so 30 years ago) I remember it very well because it was extremely hard and hurt a lot, it was the only time a teacher had ever hit me before or since, and I had actually not done the thing I was being spanked for.

I did tell my parents, but they didn't believe that a teacher would smack me without being certain I had done what they thought I had.

I am not a parent, so I won't vote.
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Old January 29 2013, 12:11 PM   #12
macloudt
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

Miss Chicken wrote: View Post
I only spanked my children when they did something dangerous and they were too young to reason with.
Same here. My kids got a smack on the butt if they were in danger of running into traffic or anything along those lines. The short, sharp shock made sure they learned their lesson. I perfected The Voice and The Stare early on, and they usually did the trick.
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Old January 29 2013, 02:28 PM   #13
Bigjoe
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

I've smacked my Children, but only as a last resort. Felt guilty as hell afterwards.

My Mother did the same to me and it bloody worked. My behaviour soon improved.

Last edited by Bigjoe; January 29 2013 at 06:00 PM.
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Old January 29 2013, 02:53 PM   #14
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

We have two children (18 and 10). I never spanked either one. I don't believe in it.

There are lots of reasons for this, but ultimately I think if you have to hit a child to get them to do what you want, they've outsmarted you.
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Old January 29 2013, 03:13 PM   #15
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Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS

BTW full marks Kenb for an excellent thread topic.
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