RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 137,813
Posts: 5,326,334
Members: 24,550
Currently online: 686
Newest member: junkdata

TrekToday headlines

Latest Official Starships Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Jul 10

Seven of Nine Bobble Head
By: T'Bonz on Jul 9

Pegg The Prankster
By: T'Bonz on Jul 9

More Trek Stars Join Unbelievable!!!!!
By: T'Bonz on Jul 8

Star Trek #35 Preview
By: T'Bonz on Jul 8

New ThinkGeek Trek Apparel
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7

Star Trek Movie Prop Auction
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7

Drexler: NX Engineering Room Construction
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7

New Trek Home Fashions
By: T'Bonz on Jul 4

Star Trek Pop-Ups Book Preview
By: T'Bonz on Jul 3


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Lounges & General Chat > Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old January 8 2013, 05:29 PM   #46
BORU
Commodore
 
Location: Baltimore, Maryland USA
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
BORU wrote: View Post
I wake up everyday at 4:30 to go to work
Do you also wake up at...5:31 PM?
That should have been 4:30 AM - I'm at my desk by 5:45 AM sucking down major cups of coffee!

By 5:31 PM I'm pretty much brain dead and on auto pilot - not a pretty sight mind ya. Course that's also the time the little rugrats will go in for the kill when you're not at your sharpest!

And yes People, it's nice to offer and have good intentions but follow through, don't tease the help then show up late. Don't offer unless you truly think about it cause it's harder than it looks. I won't fault you for not wanting to sit with the charge, I'd understand. Better to not offer than to show up late or makes us feel worse by saying how hard it was.

Hell we know it's hard that's why we need the recharge.
BORU is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 8 2013, 06:23 PM   #47
Mr. Laser Beam
Fleet Admiral
 
Mr. Laser Beam's Avatar
 
Location: The visitor's bullpen
View Mr. Laser Beam's Twitter Profile
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

To those of you who don't know why I mentioned 5:31 PM:

Long story. Even longer thread.
__________________
In labor news: Longshoremen walked off the piers today. Rescue operations are continuing.
Mr. Laser Beam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 9 2013, 03:29 AM   #48
Sector 7
Rear Admiral
 
Sector 7's Avatar
 
Location: McCrory/Hitler's Republic of North Carolina
Send a message via AIM to Sector 7
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

BORU wrote: View Post
Hell we know it's hard that's why we need the recharge.
Amen! Another thing I hate to hear is, "Why do you bother? Just put her in a nursing home."
My answer is always the same, "Because she's my Mom and I love her. Go to a nursing home one time and you won't ask again."
__________________
“When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.” -Pres. Obama
"A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon." -Pres. Clinton
Sector 7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 13 2013, 06:38 AM   #49
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

^What about respite care? Does thinking about it as a caregiver make you a bad person?
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 16 2013, 01:11 AM   #50
KimM
Rear Admiral
 
KimM's Avatar
 
Location: The poster formerly known as ORSE
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
BORU wrote: View Post
Hell we know it's hard that's why we need the recharge.
Amen! Another thing I hate to hear is, "Why do you bother? Just put her in a nursing home."
My answer is always the same, "Because she's my Mom and I love her. Go to a nursing home one time and you won't ask again."
Your mother is so very very blessed to have you! That you have to do so much if it by yourself makes you all the more extraordinary!

Peach Wookiee wrote: View Post
^What about respite care? Does thinking about it as a caregiver make you a bad person?
No. You cannot care well for others if you let yourself get run down. And some situations require more help than your situation allows. For example, an ambulatory adult can be a danger to themselves as we'll as others.
__________________
Just one woman; doing what I can, with what I've got, where I'm at!
KimM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 16 2013, 01:17 AM   #51
macloudt
Shut up, I'm counting
 
macloudt's Avatar
 
Location: A Canuck in southwest England
Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to macloudt
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

I second what Kim said. Respite is not a cop-out, or a sign of weakness or being uncaring. It's an absolute necessity to ensure the well-being of the carer.
__________________
...if you got rid of all the autism genetics, you wouldn't have science or art. All you would have is bunch of social 'yak yaks'.--Temple Grandin
macloudt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 16 2013, 02:15 AM   #52
Tora Ziyal
Rear Admiral
 
Tora Ziyal's Avatar
 
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Ditto what Kim and Macloudt said.

Also, sometimes assisted living or a nursing home is a necessity. And sometimes it has advantages beyond the basic caregiving/safety issues. My father was in assisted living for three years, and he enjoyed the activities and the people. He was a handsome and funny widower, and the little old ladies fought over him. The one who won was very sweet and had about the same degree of dementia as he did. I can't tell you how cute they were together!
Tora Ziyal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 16 2013, 06:45 AM   #53
Sector 7
Rear Admiral
 
Sector 7's Avatar
 
Location: McCrory/Hitler's Republic of North Carolina
Send a message via AIM to Sector 7
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Peach Wookiee wrote: View Post
^What about respite care? Does thinking about it as a caregiver make you a bad person?
A few people have told me, "You can't take care of your Mom if you don't take care of yourself." This includes taking care of my health, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Respite care helps you better take care of your loved one because you come back refreshed. Whether that break is for a few hours, a weekend or a vacation... YOU NEED THAT BREAK SOMETIMES.

Today was grocery shopping day. Believe it or not... that is my respite at this point. I get out to meet people other than doctors and medical personnel (Mom's and mine). It helps that we live in a moderately small town, where I run into people I know who work or shop where I do.

In short, whatever respite (break from the monotony, weariness, etc. of caregiving) helps to refresh you... do it. Even a hobby, like STAR TREK or TrekBBS, helps refresh.

[p.s.- Hi Lovely Lady from your number one fan!]
__________________
“When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.” -Pres. Obama
"A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon." -Pres. Clinton
Sector 7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 16 2013, 02:07 PM   #54
KimM
Rear Admiral
 
KimM's Avatar
 
Location: The poster formerly known as ORSE
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

+1!
__________________
Just one woman; doing what I can, with what I've got, where I'm at!
KimM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 17 2013, 11:28 PM   #55
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

I wish my dad would see respite care as a good thing, not something he needs to do "at some point."
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 18 2013, 12:33 AM   #56
Tora Ziyal
Rear Admiral
 
Tora Ziyal's Avatar
 
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

^ Yeah. Ideally, he should do it before he needs to.
Tora Ziyal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 18 2013, 12:33 AM   #57
KimM
Rear Admiral
 
KimM's Avatar
 
Location: The poster formerly known as ORSE
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

His insistence on caring for her at home may be part of his grieving process. He now realizes how fragile she is. Giving her the best care he can is part of his telling her how much he loves her and dreads her leaving him. His inability to give her care to others may in part be an inability to let her go, whenever that may be. You will all be in my thoughts.
__________________
Just one woman; doing what I can, with what I've got, where I'm at!
KimM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 18 2013, 01:08 AM   #58
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

^I think you may be right, KimM. Honestly, my dad reminds me a bit of his uncle. His uncle took care of his wife who had Alzheimers. He was exhausting himself and Dad wondered why his uncle didn't put her in an assisted living facility when the house wasn't properly equipped and his uncle wasn't physically right for the job. The other thing was my great-aunt was still ambulatory until she broke a hip.
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 18 2013, 02:28 AM   #59
Sector 7
Rear Admiral
 
Sector 7's Avatar
 
Location: McCrory/Hitler's Republic of North Carolina
Send a message via AIM to Sector 7
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Peach Wookiee wrote: View Post
I wish my dad would see respite care as a good thing, not something he needs to do "at some point."
I don't know your situation, so I cannot judge by any means. If you can even convince him to go out to eat or over to a friend's for a meal... that is a start and will give him that respite time. Perhaps he would let a family member take over for that short a time.

My brother doesn't realize how much it means when he calls to invite me over for a steak on the grill or out to eat. I've told him, but it hasn't sunken in yet.
__________________
“When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.” -Pres. Obama
"A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon." -Pres. Clinton
Sector 7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 18 2013, 01:22 PM   #60
KimM
Rear Admiral
 
KimM's Avatar
 
Location: The poster formerly known as ORSE
Re: The Caregivers' Thread

Tell him it helps your mom too, when you are refreshed it makes it better for you all! Praying for many visits from him and all who love you!
__________________
Just one woman; doing what I can, with what I've got, where I'm at!
KimM is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:59 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.