TNG Caption This! 299: Great Days Ahead!

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: This Wayne guy has an odd collection of mementos.



PICARD: I'm quite sure you don't have the authority to send me to my room, Counselor.

[Triskelion]

Worf: Your problem with women is that you can tell when someone is lying.

Ensign in back: Oh no he didn't!

[Honorable Ensign]

Picard: Yes, haha, very funny. Now who painted the exact picture of my ready room on the door?


Dr. Crusher: Drunk, again!

[Isis]

Picard: "Excellent pose, Yar. Maybe I should rethink my assessment that you're not command material."





Picard: "That shadow of mine is so obnoxious. He never stops following me."

<brief pause>

Picard: "He's right behind me, isn't he?"





Worf: "No, Geordi, I can't put my hands in the same position as yours."

LaForge: "Why not?"

Worf: "I missed my manicure appointment."

[Isis]

The calmness of this scene was short-lived when the group continued their rapid pace, failing to realize they had just stepped onto a freshly waxed floor.

[Isis]

Picard: "Now that he's just starting to come to, what's your 'lesson learned'?"

Crusher: "Next time Data complains of insomnia, maybe I shouldn't be so quick to give him an Ambien."

[NX-01]

Picard - Lt Worf, open hailing systems.

Yar - Worf sir? He's helmsmen, I open the hailing systems

Picard - Oh your still here? Number 1 I thought I told you to fire her.

Riker - Well yes you did but if I got rid of her I'd be stuck with Troi and I'd rather tap that ass!

Picard (stares at Yars butt) - Fare enough.



Picard - Number 1 you have the bridge. No-one is to disturb me in my masterbatorium.... erm I me Ready Room.



Worf (Speaking to Picard)- Honestly sir I know Geordie went from Lt Jr Grade to Lt Commander in 2 years but I do not need him to monitor my work. i know where the phasers are! It's this button here.

Geordie - Actually Worf that's the horn.

Worf - Oh.....

Picard - And thats why Geordie is there..



Troi - I sense danger...

Data - What is it?

Troi - They are down to their last Milky Way bar in the venting machine.



Crusher - His systems have shut down.

Picard - Will he OK?

Crusher - I don't know, the damage is quite extensive.

Picard - Oh thank god, I really didn't want to go to his Violin concert tonight.

[The Mole]

Riker: Permission to look at Yar's butt Captain?
Picard: Make it so
Yar: Hey!!!!!



Picard: Now if you'll excuse me Number One, I'm going to look at Orion Porn in my ready room. I do not want to be disturbed for at lease 15 minutes... oh who am I kidding, 3 minutes.

[Nerys Myk]

YAR: Permission to speak freely, sir?

PICARD: Granted.

YAR: If you two don't stop staring at my ass, I'm going to kick both of yours!

[Triskelion]

Crusher: He's farting himself to death, Captain.
LaForge: Farting all of us to death, you mean.
Picard: Is it the Edo God?
Edo God: NOT US, DUDE.
Picard: <channeling Kirk> Soooooooooooooooong!!!!!




Picard: Number One, remember that force field you activated around those two intruders on the bridge?

Riker: Way ahead of you, sir.

Yar: Is it Friday night already?




Mr Data, why is your internal servo fluid all over my ready room? Did you blow a gasket?

No sir. A Yridian.




Picard: Now that's a payload I'd like to dock.

[BriGuy]

Picard: Keeping your ass in view of your captain at all times, lieutenant... that's officer thinking.

[LeadHead]

Set Course for the 300th Contest!