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Old January 3 2013, 10:39 PM   #16
Kevin W.
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Believe it or not, I do actually have a diagram of the Remington's bridge, though I do admit it's quite old and I may or may not redesign it.



If I redesign it, it'll take cues from the E's bridge, of course.
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Last edited by Kevin W.; January 3 2013 at 11:49 PM.
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Old January 4 2013, 12:10 AM   #17
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

T'Girl wrote: View Post
This style is fine, by this point I think we all know what a bridge looks like. It isn't necessary describe the interior of the captain's ready room unless there's a feature that is relevant to the story.
Well said.
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Old January 4 2013, 10:27 AM   #18
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Oh, another thing: the division structure in Remington is more sub-divided, like the TMP and TWOK systems.

- Red - Command and administration
- Lavender - Flight operations
- Gold - Operations and security
- Bronze - Engineering
- Blue - Sciences
- White - Medical

Also, green for the Marine Corps and gray for the Starfighter Corps.

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Old January 5 2013, 12:41 AM   #19
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I glanced at those and thought they were knives!
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Old January 5 2013, 09:43 AM   #20
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Liked the two additional pages, a question. When K'Tan was speaking with Veni, was the universal translator in play, or were they speaking a common language?

Nothing wrong with a common language, Star Trek does this all the time.

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Old January 5 2013, 09:49 AM   #21
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Explaining the language thing would give away a plot point that I don't want to reveal yet. Sorry.

As for the Remington's size and complement, that I'm not totally sure about. Since I'm revamping the design, that's something I'll have to work out later.
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Old January 27 2013, 06:39 AM   #22
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Unfortunately, I've been busy over the past few weeks, but I've added a bit more.
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Old February 5 2013, 03:05 AM   #23
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-DN...it?usp=sharing

Alright, here's the latest update.
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Old February 5 2013, 06:56 AM   #24
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Ok, I have a question for anyone who's reading this: how do you suggest honing my narrative-writing skills? I don't have any issue writing dialogue, but as you can see by comparing my fiction to others, the non-dialogue portions are severely lacking. I just have trouble envisioning how to write it in my head.
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Old February 9 2013, 04:36 AM   #25
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Anyone?
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Old May 22 2013, 11:55 PM   #26
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Long time no see, everyone. Here's the latest update to episode 1.

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-DN...it?usp=sharing

You'll notice there's a significant chunk of story missing near the end. That's intentional. I already had the scene between Boswell and Trevak written ahead of time for various reasons. I'm in the process of writing the bits that lead to that scene. Enjoy.
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Old May 29 2013, 12:04 PM   #27
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Never a good sign when the last six replies are all your own is it?
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Old May 29 2013, 10:53 PM   #28
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Yeah...
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Old June 1 2013, 07:18 PM   #29
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

I just thought I'd check to see if there was anyone still alive in here.
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Old June 1 2013, 07:33 PM   #30
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Re: Looking for critiques of my writing

Well, thanks for caring.
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