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Old January 1 2013, 12:47 PM   #1
Hanukkah Solo
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ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Another year, another caption contest. Sure feels like it takes a year between these things, doesn't it? Sorry again for the late start, but now that the holidays are past I should be able to keep up better.

That said, on to the next contest! But first, You-Know-Who has something to say...



Right. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to it.

First up we have the "At Least It's Not Voyager" award, going to:
Star Grinch wrote: View Post


Padma: I have to be on an episode of.... Enterprise?
Followed by the "What Happens on Risa Stays on Risa" award, going to:
Tres_Kings wrote: View Post


Phlox: What's the last thing you remember, Trip?
Trip: Putting tequila on my cornflakes.
Phlox: Well that explains the tramp stamp.
Next up we have the "And a Fetish is Born" award, going to:
Ln X wrote: View Post

Princess: I told you not to rescue me, my lover is a Vulcan and he'll rip you to pieces!
Trip: I thought Vulcans weren't emotional?
Princess: This one is different.
Trip: You don't say...
Continuing onward, we have the "Screw the Ratings, Nobody's Watching Anyway" award, the lucky winner being:
Santa Kang wrote: View Post


T'POL: Well, this is what I'm wearing from now on. The drooling fanboys will just have to deal with it!
We also have the "Men Are from Romulus, Women Are from Vulcan" award, going to:
Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Archer: "So, how do you like these new 'holodecks,' Malcolm?"
Reed: "Actually...it's sort of boring."
Archer: "That's just what I was thinking. Computer, generate holographic character: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle!"
T'Pol: *sighs*
Our tag-team award goes to:
latkah wrote: View Post
Finngle Bells wrote: View Post


Archer: This reminds me of the time I went to Africa in my 20s...
Malcolm - You did it with a gazelle, sir?
And our Photoshop award goes to:
Tres_Kings wrote: View Post


Captain got plomeek? That's crazy.
Tres_Kings wrote: View Post


T'Pol: On Vulcan we call that an ass meld.
<Both men turn>
Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to our winners! Also, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday season.

With that long ordeal behind us, we now move on to "The Catwalk," the latest in Season Two's long line of show-killing mediocrity. Let's hope our brave captioners can liven this turkey up!









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Old January 1 2013, 02:10 PM   #2
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



"They gave me a line in this episode."
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Old January 1 2013, 04:38 PM   #3
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Thanks for the tag-team win! Gazelles everywhere are a-skeered.


Archer, Off-screen - Anyone who can roll their tongue gets to be a Lieutenant. And they get a line in this episode.


In my magic mirror, I see Travis, and Liz, and Michael. And a campy, over the top Empress with excessive makeup and a taste for B & D who looks a lot like me.


T'Pol - Must you read your porn collection now?
Archer - It helps me sleep better. We haven't invented neuropressure yet.
T'Pol - Okay, but must you moan and do the gestures?
Archer - These gestures?
Vulcan eyeroll.


Travis - I learned how to roll my tongue. I'm gonna be a Lieutenant! And I'll get lines.
Hoshi - Security! Who the hell is this guy?


Archer, Offscreen - You're not doing the tongue roll right! No lines for you!
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Old January 1 2013, 04:46 PM   #4
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Thanks for the win! Happy new year to everyone, and grats on all the winners too. Some great ones this time around!



Reed: Our science officer is so hot. I'd do anything to see that hot Vulcan body.
Mayweather: No way! She's our superior, we could get in so much trouble!
Phlox: Infantile minds. Watch and learn. (raises voice) Oh subcommander! I need to see you in the decon chamber for your medical evaulation!



The fanboys quickly lost interest in Hoshi when they found out about her girlstache.



T'Pol: Captain?
Archer: (startled) What? It's not what you think! It's not erotic fanfiction about us!



Mayweather: If I don't get a line, I'll just flirt with the camera until they give me one.



Trip: It's a good thing I brought my library card with us.
T'Pol: Why?
Trip: Because I am totally checking -you- out!
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Old January 1 2013, 05:57 PM   #5
lurok
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.


Travis: How you doin'
Hoshi: That's not the line


T'Pol: What is so amusing, Captain?
Archer: Oh, the execs' ideas for the show's finale. There's a great joke here about turning us all into holodeck characters.
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Old January 1 2013, 06:26 PM   #6
Jonas Grumby
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

TFTW!



T'Pol (annoyed and alarmed): "Are you...are you tweeting about me?!!"
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Old January 1 2013, 07:53 PM   #7
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

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Old January 1 2013, 09:11 PM   #8
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



Phlox: "If Lieutenant Reed doesn't stop sucking on lemons, the quantum citrus particle damage to his tongue could be permanent."



Gorn infiltrators should never forget to file down their teeth.



T'pol: "That is not an iPad. That is a large Tupperware lid you are holding like an iPad."



Travis: "Well well well, what have we here?"

Hoshi: "Stop that right now. You are not Lando Calrissian."



Trip: "Well, sure, I've got no idea how to fix this here warp engine. Never did. But I sure can grill up a mean catfish."
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Old January 1 2013, 09:33 PM   #9
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



Phlox: "I'm looking forward to your first physical, Ensign!"
Reed: "Look! My tongue just got hard!"
Mayweather: "I think I'm in love!"
Hoshi (OS, sighs): "Christ, this is going to be a looong deployment!"




T'Pol (OS): "Ensign, aren't you worried that someone will make some disgusting 'picking hairs out of her teeth' caption?"
Hoshi: "Worried? I've got a bet riding on it!"
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Last edited by Jonas Grumby; January 2 2013 at 02:04 AM.
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Old January 2 2013, 01:55 AM   #10
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



T'POL (oc): I don't recall any regulation requiring two witnesses during a physical exam.



ARCHER: It's not porn!!!

T'POL: I didn't ask.
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Old January 2 2013, 02:08 AM   #11
Jonas Grumby
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



T'Pol (OS): "You've heard of the 'Vulcan Death Grip'? Well, we call this the 'Vulcan Love Grip.' You like it?"
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Old January 2 2013, 02:19 AM   #12
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.




Hoshi: (thinking) "Dam-it I hate when they get stuck in my teeth!"

Looks Like Hoshi won the bet.
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Old January 2 2013, 05:35 AM   #13
Valin
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.



"I hope T'Pol doesn't mind that I borrowed her lipstick? Wait a minute. This isn't lipstick; I wonder if it's a... No!"
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Old January 2 2013, 09:29 AM   #14
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Thank ye for the wins, Hanukkah Solo!



Phlox: Captain, why don't we just skip the diplomatic protocols for Vaginus VII.

Mayweather: That is not how you do that.



T'Pol is right, shaving with a boot knife is so much easier than a pair of safety scissors.




T'Pol: Are those my X rays again?
Archer: Maybe. Who wants to know?




Hoshi: I was wrong. You should forget bars and stick to the internet.




Trip: Hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go.

Hoshi:
Oh come on! It's the Captain's dog for crying out loud! How long have we been in space anyway??
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Old January 2 2013, 12:33 PM   #15
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Re: ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

TFTW Hanukkah Solo!



Archer (o/s): I have an idea, instead of exploring new worlds why not we blow up random natural stuff? And you know entertain the crew?
Reed: With what sir? This is a ship of exploration after all.
Archer (o/s): Oh bugger it...


<Hoshi thinking> Now remember Hoshi if your teeth go whiter, it's not a sign your fading away from some transporter mishap...


Archer: Me and you on this bed right now making crazy passionate love due to being sexually repressed for so long?
T'Pol: Though it is a logical suggestion, I am not that desperate captain.


Mayweather: I have a confession; this ship is always on autopilot.


Trip: A platinum coloured wingnut? Awesome!
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