VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

[Ln X]

The weekend starts here with the latest caption contest!!!

This contest nearly didn't happen today after I bust open my lower lip and chin slamming hard whilst skateboarding a few hours ago... (curse you bs noseslashers!!!)

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u487/Orthogonal/skateboarding%20bails/DSCF2129_zps2c898699.jpg

Damn things are still bleeding, but anyway moving away from all of that we move on to the winners of last week's contest...

Santa Kang wrote:

---

EMH: Why is there a tattoo of the Vulcan word for "bitch" on your lower back?

JANWAY: Damn it, Tuvok said it meant "courage'"!!!

Tres_Kings wrote:

---

It's my chick magnet.
It seems the polarity has been reversed.
Yeah. I know.

Finngle Bells wrote:

---

Vorik: Have you heard of the T'Pol Method?

Violet.Phoenix wrote:

---

Harry: Ah Chapman...he turned me down too!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Vulcan wrote:

---

EMH: "I'm sorry Neelix, it's bad news. That outfit is deader than plaid."

///

And now the special award:

TiberiusMaximus wrote:

---

After Vorik put down his rock and B'Elanna put down her sword, they tried to kill each other like civilized people.

///

///

///

After a hard day's work, every crew member always goes for a beverage... Though sometimes they don't always get what they want... And this can have violent consequences...











Next caption contest 28th of December. Have fun!

[Ln X]

Janeway: Damn mugs! The replicator keeps putting holes to the bottom of them! You would almost think this is a practical joke on me!

Chakotay stays silent...


Tom: I would bet everything in this quadrant Harry that you could not successfully hitch this beautiful holographic lady...


Tom: Can I bite you in the neck Klingon style?
B'Elanna: You can't be serious!


Janeway: The ship may be wrecked, but the replicators sure make good coffee!


A typical day for Neelix wouldn't be complete without at least one crew member throttling him for substandard cooking...

[Finn]

Thanks for the Win!



Neelix: It was customary for the inhabitants of Rinax, dating back to the first Rinax landing 1,300 years, to strip when eating soup in a certain way. Let me show you, Harry

Tom: Wanna get out of here?

B'Elanna: Are you kidding? I'd rather listen to the doctor signing Bolian Opera.

[jespah]

Scenes from the next Iron Chef: Delta Quadrant.

[Violet.Phoenix]

Thanks for the win!



Janeway: Damn...B'Elanna still hasn't removed those coffee-eating tribbles from my replicator.



Tom: Hey, uh, Harry...

Harry: Not now, the intergalactic frisbee matches are about to start, and I've got a hundred credits on the Unwinnables.



B'Elanna: So...did you hear that Harry go turned down by Chapman?



Janeway: Never have I ever...slept with a Talaxian.

(Everyone takes a sip except Janeway and the Doctor).

Janeway: Care to explain?

Kim: Desperate times call for desperate measures.



Noah Lessing: What did I say about serving me the squid special?!

[R. Star]

Janeway: -sigh- I need to stop ordering coffee mugs 100% full.



Tom: Harry, there are times I wonder if you have a pulse. She's willing and is programmed to have sex with anything male... or female.
Harry: I would never fall for a hologram.



Tom: (singing) You've lost that looooooving feeling. Ooooh that loooving feeling. You've lost that loooooving feeling and now it's..
All: Gone! Gone! Gone! Oooh ohoho!



Janeway: When Chell said Nebula soup was on the menu, I thought it was a metaphor.
Neelix: Miss my cooking yet?
All: No!



Tuvok: Happy, happy! Joy! Joy! Happy, happy! Joy! Joy!

[JirinPanthosa]

Janeway: Okay, you can have some, if you promise not to tell the crew I got my replicator to make alcohol instead of synthehol.



Paris: I'm glad you decided not to put the timeline the way it was supposed to be after all. Now you and I can hang out in Paris.
Kim: I'll show you a picture of Libby and my new baby if you take off that fake uniform.
Paris: It helps me get girls.



B'elana: So Janeway demoted you for trying to save the environment on a water sphere, just a year after she saved the Borg from extinction?
Paris: I'm going to go steal a shuttle or something. Janeway's moral lectures are hilarious.



The crew suddenly remembered that Kes warned them about the Krenim. And all they can do is sit back and take a shot of whiskey.



Neelix suddenly realizes that all the women he'll see for the rest of his life find Talaxians completely unattractive.

[Triskelion]

TFTW, Ln X!



Chakotay: Problem with the coffee?
Janeway: I'll say. I ordered a Screaming Orgasm.



Tom: Think of this as the next level of a Ms Pacman game.
Harry: Does she go "Woo-woo-woo-woo?"
Milfie: I doubt it, but that's never stopped me before.



B: Know what happens when you put roofies in plomeek soup?

T: You get to lay long and perspire.




Janeway: Like the coffee? I make my own cream.
<Group spit take>




Sorry Mister Vulcan! All I asked was if Vulcans get too tense when you lay under a blanket!

[Finn]

Janeway: Is the door locked?

Chakotay: Yes, Captain

*Starts licking the coffee off the replicator*

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: You call that a grande? Who programmed this thing?



TOM: Nope, she's still not drunk enough to have sex with you.

HARRY: How is that possible? It's my program!!!!!



TORRRES: This is the cool kids table by default.



EMH: I wish I could say I come here for the view, ambiance and conversation. I really wish I could.



TUVOK: Ah ha! As I suspected. Leola root is made of people!!!!!

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Tres_Kings wrote:

---

Chakotay: Problem with the coffee?
Janeway: I'll say. I ordered a Screaming Orgasm.

Chakotay: "Looks like the replicator had one..."



Chakotay: "That's an Enterprise D model replicator. It'll throw a tantrum if you don't order Earl Grey tea once every few days."
Janeway: "I want it off my ship."



Harry: "Now?"
Girl: "Not yet, ma cherie."
Harry: "Have another drink."
Tom: "What are you doing? Getting her drunk?"
Harry: "Drunk enough to go out with me, yes."
Tom: "It's a holodeck. You can reprogram her."
Harry: "You don't think I haven't tried?"



B'elanna: "One time, at Klingon camp, I stuck a Bat'leth..."




Neelix: "Um, danger? Purple swirly thing alert!"



Tuvok: "The Jimmy Saville investigation team want to have a word."
Neelix: "Ocampan... O...cam... pan..."

[jespah]

EMH: "Now, the rules of the game are, any time anyone says Talaxian, we drink."

-- they all drink --

EMH: "I didn't say Talaxian yet!"

-- they all drink again --

EMH: "Wait! Oh, to hell with it. Talaxian."

[Herkimer Jitty]

Janeway: "Voyager... are we going to have to potty train you?"



@harrykim

still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
didn't get that promotion today #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager



Paris: "You're an engineer, so tell me: why do these tables all have a ditch in the middle?"

Torres: "To drain out the vomit after the lunch special."



EMH: "Well, at least they have a Starbucks in Detroit."



[Tuvok chokes Neelix.]

Tuvok: "Refer to me as an elf. One more time. I dare you."

Neelix: "You're an angry elf."

[The strangling resumes.]

[Triskelion]

Wait - if this isn't the urinal - where have I been getting my coffee?




She said she wanted Sex on the Beach, Harry.

I know, I'm looking up the French translation for the bartender.




- And then he said, "I'm looking up the French translation for the bartender."

And he wonders why he's still an Ensign?




EMH: You all have Talaxian Taint Fungus.
<Group spit take>



What? All I asked was if you like my stir-fry with morning wood?

[Triskelion]

Damn it!

Broken replicator, Kathryn?

Who cares. We need a technology for putting spilled coffee back in a cup.




Kim: I'm looking for a good French pickup line.
Paris: She's a hooker from Toledo.
Kim: Just a minute, I'm indexing idioms by province.



Wanna go get naked?
Does a Vulcan bricklayer get sand in his crack?




Sorry you told Q what a lava lamp was, Captain?
Shut up, Harry.




The secret ingredient in the Number Two Special is plomeek, Mister Vulcan! I swear!