RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 141,589
Posts: 5,515,446
Members: 25,159
Currently online: 604
Newest member: Horizons96

TrekToday headlines

Two New Starships Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Dec 26

Captain Kirk’s Boldest Missions
By: T'Bonz on Dec 25

Trek Paper Clips
By: T'Bonz on Dec 24

Sargent Passes
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

QMx Trek Insignia Badges
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

And The New Director Of Star Trek 3 Is…
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

TV Alert: Pine On Tonight Show
By: T'Bonz on Dec 22

Retro Review: The Emperor’s New Cloak
By: Michelle on Dec 20

Star Trek Opera
By: T'Bonz on Dec 19

New Abrams Project
By: T'Bonz on Dec 18


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Lounges & General Chat > Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old December 3 2012, 04:57 PM   #1
Tom Riker
Lieutenant
 
I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

So my wife found out Friday that her sister's husband has been cheating on her. they were married in October 2011 and the affair started in july 2012.

at first he told her it only happend once and that the woman "seduced" him and threw herself at him. Fine. An ooops I can forgive, but as it went on, it turned into a 5 month affair having sex dozens of times.

So at this point, i'm mad, I'm staying out of, letting them work it out. They are 22 are 24 years old. I'm not perfect, I'm not going to be smug and act like a saint.

But last night before bed I blew my stack. Her sister called and said they got more into it and he admitted to her that when he told his parents about it, his father said he didn't blame him for doing it because my sister in law is controlling and bossy.

Then.... and this is what has me posting here... and trying NOT to just go beat the fuck out of this ignorant white trash bumkin.... he told her the reason he cheated is because she is never on top during sex and won't do anal.

I didn't sleep last night. I think of this girl as a little sister and I just want to get my hands around this idiots throat.

Talk me down.
Tom Riker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:06 PM   #2
Jan
Commodore
 
Jan's Avatar
 
Location: ...is insane. --JMS
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Man blaming the woman for their own lacks? Epic fail. But while I would encourage you giving him a tongue-lashing, it would only hurt everybody, including your fist, to try to beat some sense into him. I hope you'll be able to assure your SiL that none of her husband's acts are in any way her fault.

Jan
Jan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:08 PM   #3
Solstice
Sexy Wizard
 
Solstice's Avatar
 
Location: I'm so lost T_T
View Solstice's Twitter Profile Send a message via ICQ to Solstice Send a message via AIM to Solstice Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Solstice Send a message via Yahoo to Solstice
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

A few things:

1. Your sister-in-law's husband sounds like a complete asshole.
2. Your sister-in-law may not have been very smart in marrying him, but I'm sure not one to talk.
3. Cheating due to a lack of sexual variety is, well... I don't know what it is, but it's pretty damn stupid.
4. This is ultimately none of your business except in terms of supporting your wife, and possibly your sister-in-law if she wises up and decides to leave this jerk.
5. Prison is not a pleasant place to be.
__________________
Robert Maxwell
I has a blag.
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Solstice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:12 PM   #4
Pingfah
Admiral
 
Pingfah's Avatar
 
Location: Keeping an eye on TBBS
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

A mindnumbingly boring sex life is a very valid reason to break up with someone if it can't be resolved otherwise, but not to cheat on them.
__________________
So it goes.
Pingfah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:15 PM   #5
Tom Riker
Lieutenant
 
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Robert Maxwell wrote: View Post
A few things:

1. Your sister-in-law's husband sounds like a complete asshole.
2. Your sister-in-law may not have been very smart in marrying him, but I'm sure not one to talk.
3. Cheating due to a lack of sexual variety is, well... I don't know what it is, but it's pretty damn stupid.
4. This is ultimately none of your business except in terms of supporting your wife, and possibly your sister-in-law if she wises up and decides to leave this jerk.
5. Prison is not a pleasant place to be.

I know. i'd never beat him up, i'm not going to ruin my life beacuse he's an idiot. besides, he's a convicted felon. did hard time for attempted vehiciualr homicide while intoxicated, he's the first boyfriend she ever had, and so she's terrified to leave him and be alone.

My wife's family is the type that everyone stays out of everyones business and let's people make their own mkstakes while my family is the first one to call you friggin idiot if you're being treated like a doormat.

I'm glad I live an hour away, it makes it easier to stay out, but knowing he's said these things to her, and who knows what else that she hasn't told my wife, makes it very hard for me to ever consider being in the same room with him again. He has effectively turned his affair around on her and is saying it is her fault he cheated.
Tom Riker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:29 PM   #6
SeerSGB
Admiral
 
SeerSGB's Avatar
 
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Tom, I hope your wife's sister all the best with this. Whatever his "Excuse", fact is he decided to cheat rather than talk it out with her.
__________________
- SeerSGB -
SeerSGB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 05:35 PM   #7
Solstice
Sexy Wizard
 
Solstice's Avatar
 
Location: I'm so lost T_T
View Solstice's Twitter Profile Send a message via ICQ to Solstice Send a message via AIM to Solstice Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Solstice Send a message via Yahoo to Solstice
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Tom Riker wrote: View Post
Robert Maxwell wrote: View Post
A few things:

1. Your sister-in-law's husband sounds like a complete asshole.
2. Your sister-in-law may not have been very smart in marrying him, but I'm sure not one to talk.
3. Cheating due to a lack of sexual variety is, well... I don't know what it is, but it's pretty damn stupid.
4. This is ultimately none of your business except in terms of supporting your wife, and possibly your sister-in-law if she wises up and decides to leave this jerk.
5. Prison is not a pleasant place to be.

I know. i'd never beat him up, i'm not going to ruin my life beacuse he's an idiot. besides, he's a convicted felon. did hard time for attempted vehiciualr homicide while intoxicated, he's the first boyfriend she ever had, and so she's terrified to leave him and be alone.

My wife's family is the type that everyone stays out of everyones business and let's people make their own mkstakes while my family is the first one to call you friggin idiot if you're being treated like a doormat.

I'm glad I live an hour away, it makes it easier to stay out, but knowing he's said these things to her, and who knows what else that she hasn't told my wife, makes it very hard for me to ever consider being in the same room with him again. He has effectively turned his affair around on her and is saying it is her fault he cheated.
Good lord. Yes, it sounds like she made a very ill-considered choice. She can do better. It's a shame she married him and will have to deal with the consequences of that, but she's young enough to get out of it and find someone who isn't a complete asshole.
__________________
Robert Maxwell
I has a blag.
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Solstice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 06:13 PM   #8
Tom Riker
Lieutenant
 
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Robert Maxwell wrote: View Post
Tom Riker wrote: View Post
Robert Maxwell wrote: View Post
A few things:

1. Your sister-in-law's husband sounds like a complete asshole.
2. Your sister-in-law may not have been very smart in marrying him, but I'm sure not one to talk.
3. Cheating due to a lack of sexual variety is, well... I don't know what it is, but it's pretty damn stupid.
4. This is ultimately none of your business except in terms of supporting your wife, and possibly your sister-in-law if she wises up and decides to leave this jerk.
5. Prison is not a pleasant place to be.

I know. i'd never beat him up, i'm not going to ruin my life beacuse he's an idiot. besides, he's a convicted felon. did hard time for attempted vehiciualr homicide while intoxicated, he's the first boyfriend she ever had, and so she's terrified to leave him and be alone.

My wife's family is the type that everyone stays out of everyones business and let's people make their own mkstakes while my family is the first one to call you friggin idiot if you're being treated like a doormat.

I'm glad I live an hour away, it makes it easier to stay out, but knowing he's said these things to her, and who knows what else that she hasn't told my wife, makes it very hard for me to ever consider being in the same room with him again. He has effectively turned his affair around on her and is saying it is her fault he cheated.
Good lord. Yes, it sounds like she made a very ill-considered choice. She can do better. It's a shame she married him and will have to deal with the consequences of that, but she's young enough to get out of it and find someone who isn't a complete asshole.
What I'm worried about is that my father in-law did this three times to my mother in law. and each time he begged and cajoled himself back into her good graces. and my mother inlaw won't even talk to her about it. so she's sees parents who have went through this and the mom dealt with it.
Tom Riker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 07:11 PM   #9
auntiehill
Fleet Admiral
 
auntiehill's Avatar
 
Location: hillsville
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

^Which explains a lot about why the sister married that dick in the first place.

If you want to help, offer the sister some support if (and, with any luck, WHEN) she decides to leave his sorry ass.
__________________
"This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both,and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased." -Dickens.
auntiehill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 07:53 PM   #10
Deckerd
Fleet Arse
 
Deckerd's Avatar
 
Location: the Frozen Wastes
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

I'd keep out of it. Your job is to support your own wife. It's worth pointing out that what the cheating husband is doing is a classic trick of blaming the wife for his adultery. If she doesn't realise this then she will start to blame herself. Their marriage might have been ill advised and doomed but her husband's decision to fuck someone else is absolutely not her fault.
__________________
They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
Deckerd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 07:58 PM   #11
Gaith
Rear Admiral
 
Gaith's Avatar
 
Location: Washington, DC
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Best wishes for your sister in terms of DTMFA-ing this creep. If she doesn't seem inclined to... well, forwarding her this Onion piece may not help, but I can't think of too many other remedies offhand.

You haven't shared your wife's take on all this. Regardless, the healthiest thing you can do is probably just to do your best to support and affirm her position (assuming it's the right one).
Gaith is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 10:04 PM   #12
Captrek
Rear Admiral
 
Captrek's Avatar
 
Location: second star to the right
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

Well, your friend obviously has two choices:

1) Divorce the fucker.
2) Accept the fact that this is but one of many affairs he is going to have.

Help her realize this so she can at least make the choice with her eyes open.
Captrek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 10:50 PM   #13
siskokid888
Fleet Captain
 
Location: Either Quark's, or a bar on St. Mark's Place
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

22 and 24 and they got MARRIED? Ridiculous age to even consider it, and you see the result. People have to start wising up and wait until they reach real maturity before they even consider marriage. Simply put, this is the kind of thing that happens when kids get married.
__________________
"Enterprise, starship, the places you've been to, the things that you've shown us, the stories you tell, Enterprise, starship we sing to your spirit and the beings that have served you so long and so well"
siskokid888 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 10:54 PM   #14
Rķu rķu, chķu
Fleet Admiral
 
Rķu rķu, chķu's Avatar
 
Location: Mr. Laser Beam is in the visitor's bullpen
View Rķu rķu, chķu's Twitter Profile
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

^ I would hardly classify people in their 20's as "kids", in general. That seems like a reasonable age to get married.
__________________
"A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz." - Humphrey Bogart
Rķu rķu, chķu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2012, 11:14 PM   #15
B.J.
Rear Admiral
 
B.J.'s Avatar
 
Location: Huntsville, AL, USA
Re: I gotta vent, because this is outrageous.

^ Nothing wrong with getting married at that age, provided it's to the right person. I got married at 23 straight out of college. Still going very strong 14 years later. In fact, almost everyone that I know that got married in or just out of college (which is a lot of people since I was in band) are still married today.
__________________
B.J. --- bj-o23.deviantart.com
B.J. is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:04 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.