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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old November 13 2012, 01:12 PM   #31
Finngle Bells
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness




Data: I'm reading a shuttlecraft entering the wormhole. One Human/Cyborg aboard, Sir

Picard: can you tell who it is?

Data: yes. It's Mitt Romney
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Old November 13 2012, 01:46 PM   #32
Hanukkah Solo
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Hello, ladies! Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me! Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped using petaQ-scented body wash and switched to nothing at all, he could smell like he's me.

Look down! Back up! Where are you? You're on the Enterprise, with the Klingon warrior your man could smell like! What's in your hand? Back at me! I have it: it's an oyster with two tickets to that Klingon opera you love! Look again. The tickets are now gold-pressed latinum!

Anything is possible when your man smells like a Klingon warrior and not a cowardly petaQ!

I'm on a targ.
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Old November 13 2012, 07:29 PM   #33
Holdfast
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post
Holdfast wrote: View Post
(EDIT: Ah, I now see Jonas Grumby's already done this gag. Serves me right for getting to the thread late!
Heh! I can't complain. I've done the same thing.
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Old November 13 2012, 08:34 PM   #34
captain crow
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness


Data: Captain, it's a white hole.

Picard: A white hole?

Data: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out o the universe. A white hole returns it.

Picard: So that thing is spewing time back into the universe?

Data: Percisely.


Cat: So what is it?
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Old November 13 2012, 11:00 PM   #35
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness


Riker: So Lieutenant, can you exlain why we are fifteen officers, including this nerd behind me who usually have to use holodeck to pick up a girl, who needed to be treated for Risian gonorrhea since you have been transferred here.
Geordi: You are the dirtiest wormhole of this quadreant!


Picard: Mister Data, why this wormhole appeared?
Data: It seems *they* beamed *her* in space, Captain.
Picard: Fine, Ensign Whitoutname, get us in a safer zone! Mister Data, you are in charge of deletion of all traces of this Risian gonorrhea, including into brains of medical staff. Lieutenant Attheunintifiedstation, condemn this zone to any ship navigation. I will be in my ready room to write a false report about a transporter accident. Don't disturb me, I have to put cream on my little Jean-Luc.
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Old November 13 2012, 11:13 PM   #36
Hanukkah Solo
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



*Worf reaches up to comb his hair, but when he looks in the mirror he realizes it's already perfect*
Worf: "Aaaaayyyyy!"
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Old November 14 2012, 02:04 AM   #37
DecktheThralls
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness

T'Girl wrote: View Post
Triskelion wrote: View Post


Picard: Tea, Earl Grey, hot.
Crusher: Scotch, single malt, neat.

Ha! Good one T'Girl!




Clear out Geordi's laundry chute. You'll need this.
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Old November 14 2012, 02:32 AM   #38
Smellincoffee
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness


Picard: Well, dinner's done.
Beverly: Yes.
Picard: The wine bottle's empty.
Beverly: It is.
Picard: And we're both off-duty tomorrow.
Beverly: Yes!
Picard: And the night is young. That means one thing.
Beverly: Yes!
Picard: Time for a game of whist! I'll call Will and Geordi.


Riker: Like I said, it was a phaser in my pocket.
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Old November 14 2012, 06:15 AM   #39
DecktheThralls
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Favorite Marx brother?
Harpo.
Favorite disease?
Turrete's.
Favorite 80's sitcom?
Small Wonder.
Favorite Captain?
Kirk. Oh!



Perhaps today is a good day to dye - and feather.




Picard: Prepare to probe the vortex, Data.
Data: Yes sir.
Picard: Target the one on the left.
Data: ...?



Riker: Did Geordi complete your phaser training, Ensign?
Aquiel: Yes, Commander. He even gave me visual aids.
Riker: <taps communicator> Riker to sickbay.
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Old November 14 2012, 04:42 PM   #40
Santa Kang
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



RIKER: Duty roster says it's your turn to shave my back hair.
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Old November 14 2012, 10:22 PM   #41
Isis
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Picard: "We already have too many acts in our talent show. You guys can enter, but then we'd have to get rid of the dancing midgets."





Picard: "On second thought, Beverly, maybe we don't need the table leaf today."
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Old November 14 2012, 10:32 PM   #42
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Picard:
"Q?! What's this about!"

Q: "I just saved a load of money on car insurance by switching to GEICO! I feel like celebrating!"



Worf: "When I stroke the beard thusly... do I not appear more intellectual?"



AND NOW AN EXCITING SCENE FROM CAPTAIN PICARD'S STEAMY HOLODECK FANTASY ROMANCE


Picard: "I could make the table longer and act more distant, if you'd like."

Beverly: "That would be quite nice, thank you."

Picard: "Superlative."



LaForge:
"Uhh commander... you're holding it backwards."

Riker: "Right. All... part of my clever ruse."



Picard: "It looks like some kind of lightning storm in space."

Data: "It is a hole, sir."
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Old November 15 2012, 01:44 AM   #43
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Crusher: "This is nice, Jean Luc. So many men, especially the younger ones, are so obsessed with sex! It's nice to be able to sit down to dinner with a true friend and not have to deal with all that nonsense."
Picard (thinking): "Merde!"
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Old November 15 2012, 06:24 AM   #44
DecktheThralls
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



So, Captain, how long shall we stare at each other across the Friend Zone?

Well I'd launch a probe if I knew it wouldn't get phased into a charcoal briquette.

<Bev bats eyelids>

Do you know what Captain Kirk would have called you Beverly?

Sir?

A Spock-tease.

...

...

Eat your kway-sawnt.
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Old November 15 2012, 05:28 PM   #45
Isis
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Re: TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness



Worf (to self): "If they only knew how much I owe my devilishly handsome looks to Crazy Glue..."





Picard: "OK, Q, you win the smoke ring contest, but I have a better accent."
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