DS9 Caption Contest #63: Welcome Aboard!

[BennyRussel]

Bashir: Don't you think you're overreacting?
O'Brien: When I say "Double Strong Double Sweet", dammit, I mean bloody "Double Strong Double Sweet!"

[Thor Damar]

Sisko: 'Gentlemen, I've called you all here today because there has been a murder and you are all suspects ...ah what the hell, we all know that it'll be Dukat.'

[everyone turns and stares at Dukat]

Dukat: 'WHAT! Me? I've never killed anyone, at least not directly'

Pa'dar: 'great Alkeen's ghost but you suck Skrain...'

[Deranged Nasat]

Loki Entek wrote:

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Sisko: 'Gentlemen, I've called you all here today because there has been a murder and you are all suspects...'

"Gentleman. There has been a murder. A dead Cardassian from a military/political family. He was found with the words "REMEMBER SETLIK III, DEATH TO ALL SPOONHEADS! PS: THIS FAMILY OF TRAITORS DESTROYED CARDASSIA!" carved into his body with a Bajoran dagger. Now I've had a very long day, gentlemen, and I'm not in the mood for the usual games. Either one of you admits it and explains the scheme or I'm just jailing all of you".

[Thor Damar]

Deranged Nasat wrote:

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"Gentleman. There has been a murder. A dead Cardassian from a military/political family. He was found with the words "REMEMBER SETLIK III, DEATH TO ALL SPOONHEADS! PS: THIS FAMILY OF TRAITORS DESTROYED CARDASSIA!" carved into his body with a Bajoran dagger. Now I've had a very long day, gentlemen, and I'm not in the mood for the usual games. Either one of you admits it and explains the scheme or I'm just jailing all of you".

{Sotto voice}'Oh yeah, like you'd never commit any morally ambiguous actions that would result in the deaths or dispossession of various innocent and not so innocent individuals for an alleged higher cause? Oh no not the saintly Benjamin Sisko of Bajor...'

Sisko: {heatedly} 'Okay, who's is the wise guy then?'

{everyone else looks at Sisko with mock innocence}

[grabthars hammer]

[
O'Brien: They seem to die and revive repeatedly!
Bashir: Makes sense, actually; judging by their art, they all worship Kenny from South Park.



VO: On the latest episode of Benny Sisko, its time to face the music for one of these Deadbeat Dads and their Angry Kids!




Eddington: Sorry Major... I did set it on 'stun' though; having some redeemable feature raises my odds of becoming a recurring character.




Bashir: Over there, Jake... I think there's some intelligent civilization!
Jake: Looks like North Hollywood.
Bashir: Oh well, lets try another direction...

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Bashir: Miles, why did you shoot them all?
O'Brien: They said you liked Garak better than me! Bu it's not true, is it Julian?
Bashir: Um ...
O'Brien: No!
Bashir: I'm sorry Miles, he's just too damn charismatic!


Sisko: O'Brien, a stare-off doesn't work if you don't look me in the eye ...


Quark: Don't shoot me, I'm not a changeling! I swear, the changeling is posing as major Kira!


Changeling Quark: *thinking* Hah, stupid solid fell for it!


Siddig: Look, it's our careers after Deep Space Nine!
Lofton: I don't see anything.
Sidding: Exactly.
Lofton: Oh come on, aren't you going to be in that "Syriana" movie?
Siddig: Yeah, and an episode of "Merlin." Ah well, I guess it's better than opening a restaurant or something...
Lofton: Yeah, I guess it - HEY!

BTW, thanks for the win!

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: Okay, I was wrong. It's not a time machine.

[Jonas Grumby]

Sisko: "I just want my baseball back. So...whoever took it, just leave it on the deck here, and we'll never mention it again."
*long pause*
O'Brien: "Well, are you at least going to turn your back?!"

[Mistral]

Jonas Grumby wrote:

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O'Brien: "I'm getting the strangest sense of deja vu here..."

Bashir: "So am I! I swear we were just in this caption photo a few months ago!"

[Mistral]

Jonas Grumby wrote:

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Sisko: "According to the eyewitnesses, the person who shot Major Kira was wearing a mustard colored shirt."

O'Brien: "What are you looking at me for? This kid next to me-his sweater is a sort of stone ground mustard color. Did the witness say what kind of mustard?"

[Mistral]

BennyRussel wrote:

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Bashir: "Any idea what happened here, Miles?"

O'Brien: "It's pretty obvious that they were conducting experiments relating to the creation of Higgs-Boson particles when an unexpected element crept into the situation and killed them all."

Bashir: "What was that?"

O'Brien: "Me. The bastards wouldn't quit whistling Lady Gaga tunes while they worked. It was driving me crazy."

[Triskelion]

Sisko: You're in my spot.



Eddington: Kirk.
Kira: P..i...carrrrrrhhhhd.



Bashir: Quark's?
O'Brien: Julian, we just killed seven people.
Bashir: Vic's?
O'Brien: Vic's.

[shivkala]

Skully wrote:

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Sisko: You're in my spot.

O'Brien: So sit next to me.

Sisko: Nooo. I sit there.

O'Brien: What's the difference?

Sisko: What's the difference?

Dukhat: Here we go.

Sisko: In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on but I think I've made my point.

[Triskelion]

^ Extra points if you wrote that from memory, shivkala!

[shivkala]

Sorry, I have to admit, it's not from memory. I thoroughly researched it. Sorry to disappoint!