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Science Fiction & Fantasy Farscape, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Firefly, vampires, genre books and film.

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Old October 12 2012, 11:25 PM   #16
Guy Gardener
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Gaith wrote: View Post
An F from the AV Club.
F?

VINDICATED!!!!!

I see that the AV club gave Chicago fire a C+. So maybe I'll try to finish that bugger. Looking through IMDB if I want to find out what Jesse sounds like in RL, because what he was using in House is not in the least Australian, I'm going to have to fish out my Time Trax DVDs.

There's a line from Monk where the Police Chief, Captain? That guy, is having a winging fit "I used to be a detective! I used to be someone! I was going somewhere! I had a future! But do you know who I am now? I'm the guy with Adrian Monks phone number."

I can see a point where Lana can't find her Beast (that's usually a fat girls problem.) and has to create an immediate substitute to help her solve a case, by finding an unstable homeless war vet and keeping him shotup with PCP.
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Old October 12 2012, 11:28 PM   #17
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

As soon as I heard Kruek was the female lead I rolled my eyes and shook my head in dismay.

I barely remember the 80s version, but at least Linda Hamilton could act.
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Old October 12 2012, 11:54 PM   #18
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

I watched the 80s pilot last night. I had to laugh at the production values but yes, they could all act, and plenty of shit was always going on so you weren't completely sure of your opinion...

And in that precursor Catherine (Same names, it's an actual remake not a passing rip off, some poor bastard bought the rights to the original before putting this shit together.) ...But the hilarious thing is that the scar they had Linda Hamilton "wear" in the original (hidden by her haircut 99 percent of the time.) is far worse than the scar on this new Beast kid.

If you want to see something truly horrific.

3,2,1 frankie goes boom

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1772271/

Where Ron "The Beast from the 80s, and today's Hellboy" Pearlman is in Drag trying to seduce the shit out of his Sons of Anarky co-star Charlie Hunnam.
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Old October 13 2012, 12:52 AM   #19
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Wow, did Ron need the money THAT badly?
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Old October 13 2012, 01:09 AM   #20
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Did I forget to mention that frankie goes Boom is hilarious?

And his work-pal Charlie Hunnum probably said "Dude, I'm staring in a movie, please give it some credibility, please."

Of course, Lizzy Caplin taking her top off gives everything credibility.
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Old October 13 2012, 01:22 AM   #21
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Temis the Friendly Ghost wrote: View Post
The show did well in the premiere but frankly I think that was due to TVD's lead in and the fact that the audience had nothing else to watch in that timeslot except some old guy arguing with some even older guy about a bunch of boring stuff. Nexy week it falls off a cliff.
Paul Ryan is now considered "some old guy"?

Great. Now I really feel old.
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Old October 13 2012, 01:29 AM   #22
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Consider the CW audience.

Kristin is the crone matriarch godmother guardian of the mists of ancient times.
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Old October 13 2012, 02:16 AM   #23
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Ian Keldon wrote: View Post
Is there anything you don't cynically troll?
He's not trolling anything, and he likes plenty of new shows and films, it's just that, as with anything, most of them are crap. I, for one, am grateful to Guy for serving as our canary in a coal mine for shitty Fall TV shows (especially the ones I didn't bother to check out myself). Plus, even if you disagree with his opinion on the show, he helpfully starts a thread to discuss it which probably wouldn't have been started without him for a lot of the more obscure series, and he discusses it in his amusing, offbeat way.

Unfortunately, since I was a fan of the original Beauty and Beast series, I decided to give this one a chance despite how bad it looked, so Guy wasn't able to take the bullet for me on this one, and I took a full on gut-shot with a painful 42-minute slide toward inevitable death as the bile built up inside me. It was a godawful show, is the basic point I'm trying to convey there. I'd agree with the "F" grade posted above.

First of all, if you're gonna do a show about a beast, commit to it. Don't get some male model, give him a scar that just makes him look like a slightly mysterious soap opera character who's probably someone's evil twin, and then call it a day. You can't have a pretty looking beast. Ron Perlman is a scary looking dude, even without all the makeup that turned him into the love child of Chewbacca and the Cowardly Lion. Nicest guy ever, but he has a face that says "don't fuck with me." The guy in this show just makes me wonder if he's a rival of Edward and Jacob. He's hiding out simply because people might recognize him from before he faked his death, not because "Holy shit, did you see that horrifying sewer monster's face?!" Aside from when he occasionally loses control he could walk down the street without attracting much notice, except from women and gay men checking him out.

Besides that, Kristen Kreuk is gorgeous but neither a good actress or a believable NYPD detective, the rest of the cast is utterly forgettable, and the secret government lab creating barely restrained supersoldiers with genetic tampering plot might as well be called The Beast Identity or Dark Animal or any one of dozens of TV shows and movies that have followed this plot before. It would be one thing if it brought anything new or interesting to the table, but it doesn't even try.
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Old October 13 2012, 04:22 AM   #24
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

I saw the thread title and clicked on the link totally intent on flaming the crap out of Guy Gardener. And then I actually read the thread and am totally confused.

They're remaking Beauty and the Beast? What the hell is this crap?

Last edited by hyzmarca; October 13 2012 at 05:07 AM.
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Old October 13 2012, 04:27 AM   #25
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Hopefully, you'll never have to find out.

So you thought that you were going to be defending the original show from the 80s, from me?

So, a day later after first run, no one is going to defend Beauty and the Beast?
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Last edited by Guy Gardener; October 13 2012 at 04:52 AM.
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Old October 13 2012, 05:06 AM   #26
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

I'm very easy to please when it comes to TV and movies, but even I didn't waste my time with this. It takes a lot for me to have no interest in a Sci-Fi or Fantasy show, and the previews alone were enough to turn me off of this. Like someone said upthread, if the show is called Beauty and The Beast, actually make you're Beast beastly. I know this is The CW so they want to keep some sex appeal, but there had to be a way to make him look inhuman without totally covering up his looks.
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Old October 13 2012, 05:11 AM   #27
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

George R. R. Martin wrote for the original series and didn't write for this one. Need anything else be said?
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Old October 13 2012, 05:13 AM   #28
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

The Mystery Man wrote: View Post
George R. R. Martin wrote for the original series and didn't write for this one. Need anything else be said?
He also wrote A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons.
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Old October 13 2012, 09:54 AM   #29
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Dream wrote: View Post
The Mystery Man wrote: View Post
George R. R. Martin wrote for the original series and didn't write for this one. Need anything else be said?
He also wrote A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons.
That's sort of random isn't it? I mean he's written loads of books.
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Old October 13 2012, 12:54 PM   #30
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Re: Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Frau Blucher wrote: View Post
Dream wrote: View Post
The Mystery Man wrote: View Post
George R. R. Martin wrote for the original series and didn't write for this one. Need anything else be said?
He also wrote A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons.
That's sort of random isn't it? I mean he's written loads of books.
I was implying that those books were terrible.
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