RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 141,444
Posts: 5,507,705
Members: 25,134
Currently online: 413
Newest member: xunixan

TrekToday headlines

Retro Review: The Emperor’s New Cloak
By: Michelle on Dec 20

Star Trek Opera
By: T'Bonz on Dec 19

New Abrams Project
By: T'Bonz on Dec 18

IDW Publishing March 2015 Comics
By: T'Bonz on Dec 17

Paramount Star Trek 3 Expectations
By: T'Bonz on Dec 17

Star Trek #39 Sneak Peek
By: T'Bonz on Dec 16

Star Trek 3 Potential Director Shortlist
By: T'Bonz on Dec 16

Official Starships Collection Update
By: T'Bonz on Dec 15

Retro Review: Prodigal Daughter
By: Michelle on Dec 13

Sindicate Lager To Debut In The US Next Week
By: T'Bonz on Dec 12


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Fandom > Fan Fiction

Fan Fiction Other forums talk about Trek. We make it.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old September 2 2012, 07:02 AM   #1
RB_Kandy
Commander
 
RB_Kandy's Avatar
 
Location: RB_Kandy
Need help with a TOS fan fic

I am not a very experienced writer. I am currently writing a TOS fan fiction that will be 20 to 30 pages long. My problem is, I am trying to write a sub plot where Spock is in command of the bridge, and Scotty is trying to fix the engines.
In order to establish a lot of dialogue between Scotty and Spock, I need to mention a lot of techno babble.

example, Spock says "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour."

"Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the X was merely misaligned, but it turns out that it's not just the X but also the X, the whole thing burnt out and welded itself together, I can't even get to it until I remove the X."

"well how long will this take?"

"honestly sir, 1 to 5 hours"

"that's a considerable margin of error."

"well it will be an additional hour to repair the X, but if the cause of the entire malfunction is X, I will have to completely dismantle the X, recalibrate by hand, re-assemble the X, bleed the X dry, and run low level diagnostics. The diagnostics alone is going to be 45 minutes, if I skip those, there's a greater chance X will blow up all of engineering than actually bringing warp drive back on. And my two best officers are in sick bay, sir"

In the above statements, all of the X's need to be filled in with technobabble and jargon. But I don't know how to do this.

I wish I knew more about TOS engineering. Are there any resources that get into some TOS technobabble or theory of how the ship runs?
RB_Kandy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 2 2012, 07:05 AM   #2
teacake
Fleet Admiral
 
teacake's Avatar
 
Location: Google's ass cave full of the lush, lush asses they have stolen.
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

There is a fanfiction forum here:

http://www.trekbbs.com/forumdisplay.php?f=18

That's where to ask those things
__________________

"Damnit Spock. God damnit!" Kirk ST:V
■ ■ ■
Janeway does Melbourne
teacake is online now   Reply With Quote
Old September 2 2012, 08:01 AM   #3
Tiberius
Commodore
 
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

RB_Kandy wrote: View Post
I am not a very experienced writer. I am currently writing a TOS fan fiction that will be 20 to 30 pages long. My problem is, I am trying to write a sub plot where Spock is in command of the bridge, and Scotty is trying to fix the engines.
In order to establish a lot of dialogue between Scotty and Spock, I need to mention a lot of techno babble.

example, Spock says "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour."

"Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the X was merely misaligned, but it turns out that it's not just the X but also the X, the whole thing burnt out and welded itself together, I can't even get to it until I remove the X."

"well how long will this take?"

"honestly sir, 1 to 5 hours"

"that's a considerable margin of error."

"well it will be an additional hour to repair the X, but if the cause of the entire malfunction is X, I will have to completely dismantle the X, recalibrate by hand, re-assemble the X, bleed the X dry, and run low level diagnostics. The diagnostics alone is going to be 45 minutes, if I skip those, there's a greater chance X will blow up all of engineering than actually bringing warp drive back on. And my two best officers are in sick bay, sir"

In the above statements, all of the X's need to be filled in with technobabble and jargon. But I don't know how to do this.

I wish I knew more about TOS engineering. Are there any resources that get into some TOS technobabble or theory of how the ship runs?
My suggestion...

Spock says "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour."

"Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the plasma conduit was merely misaligned, but it turns out that it's not just the plasma conduit but also the plasma converter, the whole thing burnt out and welded itself together, I can't even get to it until I remove the theta matrix compositor.."

"well how long will this take?"

"honestly sir, 12 to 15 hours"

"that's a considerable margin of error."

"well it will be an additional hour to repair the plasma conduit, but if the cause of the entire malfunction is back in the bowels of the ship, I will have to completely dismantle the plasma distribution manifold, recalibrate by hand, re-assemble the compositor, bleed the conduits dry, and run low level diagnostics. The diagnostics alone is going to be 45 minutes, if I skip those, there's a greater chance the whole thing will blow up all of engineering than actually bringing warp drive back on. And my two best officers are in sick bay, sir"
Tiberius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 2 2012, 08:07 AM   #4
RB_Kandy
Commander
 
RB_Kandy's Avatar
 
Location: RB_Kandy
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

Tiberius wrote: View Post
RB_Kandy wrote: View Post
I am not a very experienced writer. I am currently writing a TOS fan fiction that will be 20 to 30 pages long. My problem is, I am trying to write a sub plot where Spock is in command of the bridge, and Scotty is trying to fix the engines.
In order to establish a lot of dialogue between Scotty and Spock, I need to mention a lot of techno babble.

example, Spock says "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour."

"Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the X was merely misaligned, but it turns out that it's not just the X but also the X, the whole thing burnt out and welded itself together, I can't even get to it until I remove the X."

"well how long will this take?"

"honestly sir, 1 to 5 hours"

"that's a considerable margin of error."

"well it will be an additional hour to repair the X, but if the cause of the entire malfunction is X, I will have to completely dismantle the X, recalibrate by hand, re-assemble the X, bleed the X dry, and run low level diagnostics. The diagnostics alone is going to be 45 minutes, if I skip those, there's a greater chance X will blow up all of engineering than actually bringing warp drive back on. And my two best officers are in sick bay, sir"

In the above statements, all of the X's need to be filled in with technobabble and jargon. But I don't know how to do this.

I wish I knew more about TOS engineering. Are there any resources that get into some TOS technobabble or theory of how the ship runs?
My suggestion...

Spock says "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour."

"Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the plasma conduit was merely misaligned, but it turns out that it's not just the plasma conduit but also the plasma converter, the whole thing burnt out and welded itself together, I can't even get to it until I remove the theta matrix compositor.."

"well how long will this take?"

"honestly sir, 12 to 15 hours"

"that's a considerable margin of error."

"well it will be an additional hour to repair the plasma conduit, but if the cause of the entire malfunction is back in the bowels of the ship, I will have to completely dismantle the plasma distribution manifold, recalibrate by hand, re-assemble the compositor, bleed the conduits dry, and run low level diagnostics. The diagnostics alone is going to be 45 minutes, if I skip those, there's a greater chance the whole thing will blow up all of engineering than actually bringing warp drive back on. And my two best officers are in sick bay, sir"
Brilliant, you are amazing.
we need a Wayne's World "we're not worthy" emoticon.
RB_Kandy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 2 2012, 08:57 AM   #5
Tiberius
Commodore
 
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

Tiberius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 2 2012, 02:25 PM   #6
Count Zero
Decidedly something
 
Count Zero's Avatar
 
Location: Land of Awesome
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

I'm moving this to Fan Fiction where it belongs.
__________________
"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi
Count Zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3 2012, 03:05 AM   #7
Timewalker
Cat-lovin', Star Trekkin' Time Lady
 
Timewalker's Avatar
 
Location: In many different universes, simultaneously.
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

Scotty should just say, "Well, sir, everything is more f*cked up than it first appeared to be. I'll need _____ more hours minimum, and my two best officers are in Sickbay."


'Cause Spock would be right in pointing out that by the time Scotty got through the previous explanation, he could have had a lot of it already done.
__________________
"Let's give it to Riker. He'll eat anything!"

For some great Original Series fanfic, check out the Valjiir Continuum!
Timewalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3 2012, 05:05 AM   #8
nightwind1
Commodore
 
nightwind1's Avatar
 
Location: Des Moines, IA
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

TOS hardly EVER used technobabel. So I would suggest just keep it simple (if you want to sound as TOS-like as possible).
__________________
Remember: No Matter Where You Go, There You Are...88

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
nightwind1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3 2012, 05:34 AM   #9
MauriceNavidad
Vice Admiral
 
MauriceNavidad's Avatar
 
Location: Maurice in San Francisco
View MauriceNavidad's Twitter Profile
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

First fo all, Spock would never say, "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour." In fact, it's as unSpocklike as can be, as is, "Well how long will this take?"

Also, I never saw Scotty give an estimate he had to back of like this. Assuming it did happen, in-character dialog would go more like this:

SPOCK: Mr. Scott, you stated that the repair would only take one hour.
SCOTTY: Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the—
SPOCK: Assumptions are not not based on fact, Mr. Scott. I require a realistic figure.
SCOTT: Twelve to fifteen hours, sir.
SPOCK: That is considerable margin of error. Explain.

At which point Scott better damned well have a "logical" explanation.
__________________
* * *
“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
― Winston S. Churchill
MauriceNavidad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3 2012, 06:53 AM   #10
sojourner
Admiral
 
sojourner's Avatar
 
Location: I'm at WKRP
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

^The obvious next line by Mr. Scott would be, "Aye, sometimes there's a lot of error involved, sir."
__________________
Baby, you and me were never meant to be, just maybe think of me once in a while...
sojourner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 4 2012, 02:57 AM   #11
Tiberius
Commodore
 
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

lol, I can see him doing that!
Tiberius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5 2012, 10:01 AM   #12
MauriceNavidad
Vice Admiral
 
MauriceNavidad's Avatar
 
Location: Maurice in San Francisco
View MauriceNavidad's Twitter Profile
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

More to the point, you don't need the technobabble. All the reader needs to know is "it's broken" and this is how long it will take to fix.
__________________
* * *
“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
― Winston S. Churchill
MauriceNavidad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5 2012, 10:06 AM   #13
Methos
First Officer: USS Aventine
 
Methos's Avatar
 
Location: Hiding under Gaila's bed...
View Methos's Twitter Profile Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Methos Send a message via Yahoo to Methos
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

sometimes technobabble makes the fic though...

characters like Scotty, are known for giving explanations that involve needlessly long words and details about the repairs... for him to simply say...

"Aye cap'n, repairs'll be two hours."

Would be out of character for him, where as him filling in the information with what is wrong and why, is far more fitting and in character... without little quirks like this, it could just be a nameless engineer on the ship answering the question, rather than a named and fleshed out character.

M
__________________
In Russia, a 122 year old man has passed away, he credited his long life to abtaining from alcohol, tobacco and women. His last words were "I've made a huge mistake."
Methos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5 2012, 06:09 PM   #14
Chemahkuu
Vice Admiral
 
Chemahkuu's Avatar
 
Location: United Kingdom
Send a message via Yahoo to Chemahkuu
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

Maurice wrote: View Post
First fo all, Spock would never say, "I thought you said that repair would only take you an hour." In fact, it's as unSpocklike as can be, as is, "Well how long will this take?"

Also, I never saw Scotty give an estimate he had to back of like this. Assuming it did happen, in-character dialog would go more like this:

SPOCK: Mr. Scott, you stated that the repair would only take one hour.
SCOTTY: Aye, sir, that's when I had assumed the—
SPOCK: Assumptions are not not based on fact, Mr. Scott. I require a realistic figure.
SCOTT: Twelve to fifteen hours, sir.
SPOCK: That is considerable margin of error. Explain.

At which point Scott better damned well have a "logical" explanation.
sojourner wrote: View Post
^The obvious next line by Mr. Scott would be, "Aye, sometimes there's a lot of error involved, sir."
These, work just nicely and cut down on the babble and give a good badinage we're used to from TOS.

If you really must, maybe the Antimatter induction valves, it always seems to be something wrong with the antimatter in TOS.
__________________
"But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake."
Chemahkuu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 21 2012, 10:51 AM   #15
MauriceNavidad
Vice Admiral
 
MauriceNavidad's Avatar
 
Location: Maurice in San Francisco
View MauriceNavidad's Twitter Profile
Re: Need help with a TOS fan fic

Missed this before:
Methos wrote: View Post
sometimes technobabble makes the fic though...

characters like Scotty, are known for giving explanations that involve needlessly long words and details about the repairs...
Quote one such instance outside his appearance in TNG.

Compared to later engineers Scotty was a model of brevity.
__________________
* * *
“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
― Winston S. Churchill
MauriceNavidad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:20 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.