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Old August 8 2012, 10:39 AM   #16
Patrickivan
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Fun video- Was certainly in the spirit of Star Trek. I didn't like the look at first, but as the scenes and music flowed on, it really grew on me.

My first thought was that this ship reminds me of the Oberth Class. The size and shape made it feel like a true explorer! But then that weapon demonstration right at the end showed that this was also the Enterprise. Don't fuck with her!
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Old August 8 2012, 11:17 AM   #17
The Axeman
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

I really like most of the HD video, the camera angles and general direction were interesting and showed off the ship nicely, if a little derivative of the stuff seen in the last movie. It all flowed nicely and showed off the ship from a variety of angles. I think calling it HD is a bit of a push though. Also the model didn't stand up to close scrutiny in some of the shots, looking too like a low poly game model rather than cutscene or TV quality. Still, lots of work on show there and looked great.

As for the game video, again the visuals are very nice and I particularly liked the spinning crash of the ship and the particles streaming off it. Some nice work with the fade into the future stuff on the planet too. Not so sure about the dialogue though, that could use a polish, and it looked like the moon at the start was revolving around something other than the centre of the planet. Was that meant? It's an interesting premise though, cant go wrong with ancient races and warring factions fighting over resources, which is why it's the basis of so many games. With something like this you might want to keep exposition and lore as loose and vague as possible to give you lots of wriggle room. There's no harm in keeping people mystified or baffled for a time, the only crime in story telling is to bore them.
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Old August 8 2012, 05:49 PM   #18
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Yeah, the video is only HD by comparison to the original I posted on youtube, which is only 360p.

Yeah, the dialogue is pretty rough, and that's my voice, which I hate listening to. Tried doing some echo and distortion, but made it too hard to understand. Even now I feel like I'm loosing my "d" sounds, and therefore my past-tenses.

The dialogue will be re-recorded for the pilot episode once I have that character cast, and so I have some time to improve it.

The moons were definitely meant to look like they revolve around the planet.

As far as keeping some mystery- I agree entirely. Is there anything that jumps out as you as removable without confusing people?
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Old August 8 2012, 08:37 PM   #19
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

I get the Oberth comparison a lot btw, which is interesting, as it's not really intentional, but the Oberth is one of my favorites, along with the Excelsior, and both influences definitely crept in there.
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Old August 9 2012, 01:00 AM   #20
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

The Axeman wrote: View Post
looked like the moon at the start was revolving around something other than the centre of the planet.
Damn! You're right! I'll need to fix that, thanks.
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Old August 9 2012, 04:20 AM   #21
largo
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Fuzzy Modem wrote: View Post
The Axeman wrote: View Post
looked like the moon at the start was revolving around something other than the centre of the planet.
Damn! You're right! I'll need to fix that, thanks.
most orbits are ellipses, with the major body at one focus. further, even given a circular orbit, the minor body does not orbit the center of the major body, but a common barycenter with it. </vulcan>

but yeah, the planet should at least be on the plane of the moon's orbit.
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Old August 9 2012, 06:05 PM   #22
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

I'm running into a big problem with maybe half the people who watch the CrossOver video. They think the planet is Earth, despite my attempts to make it visually distinct. I think a big part of this is that I start the narration with "Our Sun." The solution is to name the planet, something I've been resistant to until now.


I'm considering hijacking the legend of Tír na nÓg. "Land of the Young" the most popular of the Otherworlds in Irish mythology.

Tír na nÓg was considered a place beyond the edges of the map where happiness lasted forever. It could be reached by either an arduous voyage or an invitation from one of its fairy residents, Tuatha de Danann (the Masters, who I would rename)
The story goes that if you visit Tír na nÓg, then return to Earth, 300 years will have passed. This fits nicely with the time dilation that occurs with light speed travel.


As it may be overly presumptuous to utilize an aspect of someone's culture for my own purposes, I'm also considering changing the names slightly, possibly by going back to the old Irish roots, and interpreting how the language may have evolved differently on this alien planet.


Does this sound like a good idea to you? Why or why not?


-


Also, I'll be looking for voice actors (ideally Irish or Scottish, bull I'll consider anyone) to narrate the revised exposition, if you are interested.
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Old August 9 2012, 08:17 PM   #23
B.J.
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Fuzzy Modem wrote: View Post
I think a big part of this is that I start the narration with "Our Sun." The solution is to name the planet, something I've been resistant to until now.
Why not just change how you refer to the star? Something like "Our star" or "the star we orbit"? Even though "sun" is supposed to be generic, common usage has most people thinking sun=Sol. "The moon" has a similar problem.

Personally, I thought it was pretty clear with the context of the visuals.
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Old August 9 2012, 09:22 PM   #24
largo
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

why, that's as silly as a starship crew running into a greek god... wait, let me start over. that's as silly as a starship crew running into an aztec god... hrm, still not it. space nazis? mobsters? damnit!
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Old August 9 2012, 11:02 PM   #25
northstar
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Interesting configuration. Not exactly a beauty, but interesting. But I would refrain from coming that close with the camera if your model and textures do not support that.
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Old August 10 2012, 12:49 AM   #26
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

[edit]

Here it is broken into parts for two narrators:


-



Narrator #1 (male):


The Master’s world was once a paradise.


They gathered my ancestors from Earth at the dawn of our civilization.


The Masters showed us the secrets of the universe,


and taught us how to bend reality to our will.


As they dwindled, their power faded,


and the gateway home was sealed.


When the last Master died,


their world slowed to a halt.


Forests burned and oceans boiled.


We were able to endure by studying their knowledge.


and the more we learned,


The more we prospered.


On the Nightside forests withered and oceans froze.


None survived.


-


Narrator #2 (female):


On Earth, tales of this world had faded into myth.


We developed advanced technology,


and built ships that could cross the stars.


My ancestors stumbled upon this world,


and crashed on the Nightside.


In time, the castaways flourished.


Our city is a warm light in the cold darkness.




The Great Barrier divides Night and Day,


preventing contact between our two Empires.




Until now...


-


I haven't named the planet, but I think that I’ve clarified that it’s not Earth, and I can hint at its mythical associations subtextually later.


What do you think?

Last edited by Fuzzy Modem; August 10 2012 at 08:22 AM.
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Old August 10 2012, 08:23 PM   #27
The Axeman
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

I'm Scottish, I'll have a bash at the dialogue and send you a link to it.
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Old August 10 2012, 09:08 PM   #28
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

The Axeman wrote: View Post
I'm Scottish, I'll have a bash at the dialogue and send you a link to it.
Sweet!
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Old August 14 2012, 12:40 AM   #29
Fuzzy Modem
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

I just sent 3 responses to PMs, yet my "sent" box shows empty. Please PM again, to verify receipt (or lack thereof)

Coincidentally, lots of Enterprise F pics, including orthos here: http://crossovercomic.com/index.php?...nus&folder=big
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Old August 14 2012, 02:51 AM   #30
sojourner
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Re: Vids: Enterprise-F HD (and CrossOver Prologue)

Have there been any new ships added to STO lately? I'm wondering if there are any that were inspired by the other contest entries?
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