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Old March 27 2012, 03:31 AM   #736
Masquerade
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Saved.
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Old March 27 2012, 05:27 AM   #737
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

If this season doesn't include at least one stone cold stunner, I will be sorely disappointed. Preferably, have it be on an innocent civilian who doesn't know it's coming.
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Old March 27 2012, 06:42 AM   #738
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

cooleddie74 wrote: View Post
MadBaggins' stories need lens flare.

There. I said it. But we've all been thinking it. If he cares one whit about his audience he'll listen to us.
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Old March 27 2012, 07:07 AM   #739
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Needs more flare; I can still read some of the text. A good start, though!
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Old March 27 2012, 03:29 PM   #740
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

"You know, Ed-Legs wrote a stupid story that took only twelve minutes. It entertained eight hundred people. Including Mad Dave. And You.

I dare you to do better."
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Old April 1 2012, 12:33 AM   #741
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Things have continued to go up and down with her over the last week. One low point came when I was helping her sort things are her church again. It was the first time I'd done so since we'd got together, I think. I thought she was through with all that as she'd agreed to make the huge commitment of going to a dangerous country on May the 4th, but apparently the church didn't think that was enough and wanted more out of her! Well I didn't mind helping out the poor people, of course, it's just the attitude of that smug church that gets to me. After we were finished one of the women there said "see you on Sunday!" to my girlfriend and she just happily nodded. After all the progress I've made convincing her that atheism is the way. She's so far along the "there probably isn't a god" point that she's almost at the correct "there definitely isn't a god" point...but now she's going to have to show up at that church on Sunday or they'll be questioning her and making her feel bad. It's like brainwashing.

Another bad incident came when I went to her house to see her but her two friends were there. As soon as I saw them I could feel the hate rising off them like steam. Even the one who doesn't hate me seems to hate me now, which is sad. The one who does hate me must have told her lies. I don't get why they don't want their friend to be happy. The absolute worst part was when my girlfriend left the room and I was standing there in front of those two harpies. I don't know why I didn't sit down. They were looking up at me with hateful eyes and the one who doesn't hate me (but does) said "I hope you're treating Girlfriend's Name right!" (I'm not saying her name.) Why would they even have to ask!? I said "always!" and checked my phone, just to break the eye contact with them before they turned me to stone! I could hear them sniggering at me as I did. Even worse was that I had a text message from Ed-Legs saying he wasn't coming to the WrestleMania party.

But things got better just last night. The best they've ever been. You know I was talking about the "journey" we've been on? I don't just mean the spiritual journey I'm guiding her alonge. I mean the emotional and physical journey between us as human beings. Well, we reached a destination along one very special part of that journey. It was not the way I'd been expecting to reach the destination, but it was nevertheless very pleasing for me (and she assured me it was for her as well.) Perhaps even more pleasing than the conventional method. It just goes to show that you shouldn't try to force things. Be patient, be cool, and you'll get what you've wanted since the start in the end. It made me even more determined than ever to not let her go. In fact I'm actually less worried now. After this new level of closeness we've reached, how can she possibly still want to go?
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Old April 1 2012, 12:54 AM   #742
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Just so we're clear.... by "journey", we're still talking about sex, right?
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Old April 1 2012, 01:19 AM   #743
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

"The conventional method."

You know...I just don't want to know. Nope.
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Old April 1 2012, 03:32 AM   #744
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Maybe she's saving "the conventional method" for someone who isn't such an obvious tool.
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Old April 1 2012, 04:05 AM   #745
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

This last entry was pretty ho-hum. I was hoping for some more intrigue. Maybe if he slapped her friends a bit that might have spiced things up.

Or even better, maybe he could have slept with them as some way to get back at his Girlfriend for not leaving the church.
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Old April 1 2012, 07:49 AM   #746
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Well I've just read things I wish I could unread.
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Old April 1 2012, 09:10 AM   #747
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

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Old April 1 2012, 11:12 AM   #748
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

MadBaggins wrote: View Post
But things got better just last night. The best they've ever been. You know I was talking about the "journey" we've been on? I don't just mean the spiritual journey I'm guiding her alonge. I mean the emotional and physical journey between us as human beings. Well, we reached a destination along one very special part of that journey. It was not the way I'd been expecting to reach the destination, but it was nevertheless very pleasing for me (and she assured me it was for her as well.) Perhaps even more pleasing than the conventional method. It just goes to show that you shouldn't try to force things. Be patient, be cool, and you'll get what you've wanted since the start in the end.
Let me guess: she fucked you in the ass with a dildo, right.

You know, given your sexual history I don't think saying "journey" is adding any romance or magic to this story, it actually makes you sound like more of a creep.
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Old April 1 2012, 01:23 PM   #749
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

MadBaggins wrote:
Even worse was that I had a text message from Ed-Legs saying he wasn't coming to the WrestleMania party.
Ladies and gentlemen...nineteen words that should never, ever be spoken in the English language.

MadBaggins wrote:
After this new level of closeness we've reached, how can she possibly still want to go?
I dunno...she could have a moment of clarity? Who bloody knows. Women are funny creatures.
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Old April 1 2012, 02:06 PM   #750
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Re: I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

Another bad incident came when I went to her house to see her but her two friends were there. As soon as I saw them I could feel the hate rising off them like steam. Even the one who doesn't hate me seems to hate me now, which is sad.
And yet, sadly, inevitable.

Squigs: Love the signal. You win the interwebs all over again, gave me the best laugh I've had in weeks.

(no, there hasn't been many laughs lately)
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