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Old August 16 2011, 08:37 PM   #106
Enterprise1981
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Even knowing that you had non-Star Trek alums in mind in the roles of the primary villains in your story, Rush, I still couldn't help imagine the voices of John Fleck (Tal Shiar Chairman Koval) and John Durbin (the Syndicate boss in "A Simple Investigation" and Gul Lemec in TNG: "Chain of Command")-- possibly because the latter is featured prominently in one of my stories currently in progress.
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Old August 16 2011, 09:51 PM   #107
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Hmm...interesting. So, which one as Crolin, and which one as Crant?
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Old August 17 2011, 12:07 AM   #108
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

I would say Fleck would be Crant since his interactions with Bashir were reminiscent of Bashir and Koval.
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Old August 17 2011, 02:11 PM   #109
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

So Bashir wakens to find himself tied to the bed by a beautiful leather clad blonde? Some guys get all the luck.

An excellent story through out, with a satisfying conclusion. Out of curiosity I'd like to read your alternate version of Crant and Crollin's fate, but from what you say this does indeed sound like a superior resolution.

And congratulations for Cynthia Holland too. Given her background and role in the story, there's a very high Mary Sue quotient there, but you made the character work. Like Crant, she's someone I'd like to see again.
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Old August 17 2011, 07:28 PM   #110
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

The Badger wrote: View Post
So Bashir wakens to find himself tied to the bed by a beautiful leather clad blonde? Some guys get all the luck.
Absolutely!

As Bashir himself noted in the beginning of the sequence, her body language throughout--especially the moment where she moves completely atop him--is one of seduction. One could call it symbolic of the constant seduction of the "spy life", a seduction Bashir encounters over and over again....

An excellent story through out, with a satisfying conclusion.

...And congratulations for Cynthia Holland too. Given her background and role in the story, there's a very high Mary Sue quotient there, but you made the character work. Like Crant, she's someone I'd like to see again.
Thank you, very much.

Interestingly enough, when starting the as-yet-unfinished Section 31 tale, I was afraid she was coming across as just that--a Mary Sue. In that case...I think there are rare instances where such stereotypes are actually most effective.

"True Q", for example, begins with Amanda Rogers as a flesh-and-blood Mary Sue (down to Riker briefly flirting with her)...but the mystery of her powers makes it different--and the revelation that she's a Q, and Q's mentoring of her, suddenly breaths new live into the "Mary Sue" tradition.

In my case, the "Mary Sue" stereotype--an innocent, beautiful, eager-to-please girl who 1) is the best at what she does, and 2) catches the eye of one of the show's male leads--actually provides a drastic contrast to the dark, twisted netherworld of Section 31.

Out of curiosity I'd like to read your alternate version of Crant and Crollin's fate, but from what you say this does indeed sound like a superior resolution.
Ask, and ye shall recieve. Here we go:



Some things to notice:

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Last edited by St. William Of Levittown; August 18 2011 at 07:30 AM. Reason: so a new reader won't notice any "spoilers" when writing reviews.
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Old August 18 2011, 06:06 AM   #111
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

I just finished Chapter 3. Excellent work so far. The dialogue is what really catches my attention. Too often I find that the fiction I read gets overly bogged down in the descriptions - but not here. Without good conversation, all the description in the world isn't worth much. It almost reads like a script for a stage play with scene descriptions (a la Arthur Miller's The Crucible), which is very nice.

I'm not sure if Holland is a double agent for the Orions or not yet. A Section 31 operative? Maybe. Can't wait to read more tomorrow.

Rush Limborg wrote: View Post
Bashir walked off, shaking his head with a silent chuckle as the woman carried on in her duties. I actually enjoyed that…. I wonder—was this how Jadzia felt, all those times with me?
I'm sure she did. For proof look no further than when Bashir first meets Leeta.
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Old August 18 2011, 07:37 AM   #112
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Admiral Shran wrote: View Post
I just finished Chapter 3. Excellent work so far. The dialogue is what really catches my attention. Too often I find that the fiction I read gets overly bogged down in the descriptions - but not here. Without good conversation, all the description in the world isn't worth much. It almost reads like a script for a stage play with scene descriptions (a la Arthur Miller's The Crucible), which is very nice.
Thanks, Shran!

(When you're done with this one--I think you'd like reading up on my many Tales Of Ezri Dax--provided, of course, you don't mind the spoler of her current position in the novels. There are a couple of DS9 tales with her, which don't have any spoilers, really.... I think you'd like them. )

I'm not sure if Holland is a double agent for the Orions or not yet.
Wow. As you no doubt have read, you're not the only reader who's thought that....

A Section 31 operative? Maybe. Can't wait to read more tomorrow.
Looking forward to it!

Rush Limborg wrote: View Post
Bashir walked off, shaking his head with a silent chuckle as the woman carried on in her duties. I actually enjoyed that…. I wonder—was this how Jadzia felt, all those times with me?
I'm sure she did. For proof look no further than when Bashir first meets Leeta.
Yep. And of course that scene in "The Alternate", when she deliberately gives him the wrong idea, and then crushes it, much like Julian does, here. When she leaves the Infirmary in that ep, he snickers to himself in bitter amusement, and mutters, "She enjoys it. Somehow...she takes a perverse pleasure in it...."
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Old August 19 2011, 12:50 AM   #113
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Excellent conclusion, Rushbo! Dude, that was an awesome story. Classic Julian Bashir, and you write him very well. Crant, Crolin, Cynthia, and Sorak were also very well written and engaging. Beyond the characterization, the plot itself was marvelous. Fleming himself would be proud!

Also, don't take this the wrong way, but it was cool to see you write something that didn't revolve around Ezri. We all love our Dax, but you know what they say about variety. All in all, a great story, Rush! Keep it up.
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Old August 19 2011, 01:31 AM   #114
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

TiberiusMaximus wrote: View Post
Excellent conclusion, Rushbo! Dude, that was an awesome story. Classic Julian Bashir, and you write him very well. Crant, Crolin, Cynthia, and Sorak were also very well written and engaging. Beyond the characterization, the plot itself was marvelous. Fleming himself would be proud!
Wow. Thank you, sir! Thank you, very much!

Also, don't take this the wrong way, but it was cool to see you write something that didn't revolve around Ezri. We all love our Dax, but you know what they say about variety. All in all, a great story, Rush! Keep it up.
Thanks.
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Old August 19 2011, 01:42 PM   #115
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Thanks for posting the alternate version. Very interesting, I think it would have worked well as an ending. But the version you used worked better, for the reasons you highlighted.
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Old August 19 2011, 08:09 PM   #116
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Thanks, Badger!

Who knows--I may actually salvage the rest of it for another tale....
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Old August 20 2011, 03:46 AM   #117
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Having read the actual ending, I was sort of lukewarm about the "alternate climax". But either climax creates great future story opportunities for Crant.
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Old August 20 2011, 04:32 AM   #118
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Well, of course, the actual ending is "canon", for my universe. The other one's just for entertainment.

Thanks for reading!
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Last edited by St. William Of Levittown; August 20 2011 at 06:16 AM.
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Old August 20 2011, 06:09 AM   #119
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

Here you go. A 'movie poster' or 'e-book cover' for Rush.

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/4060/ds9risa.png


Last edited by Trelane; August 20 2011 at 06:23 AM.
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Old August 20 2011, 06:15 AM   #120
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Re: Star Trek: From Risa With Love--An Adventure Of Dr. Julian Bashir

^

Brilliant! Captured the "Ian Flemming" style well!

(Kinda wonder what it would look like, were it to also feature the sillihouette of a tux-endowed Bashir with a gun....)

Thanks!

(Next thing, I'll find someone posting lyrics to "From Risa With Love", based on the original James Bond song!)

BTW--any thoughts on the tale, itself, good sir?
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