RLM finally did it / Plinkett reviews Star Trek

[tauntme]

Haha, "Bambi 2, WTF?"

[Gaith]

But what's with the hating on "Parallels"? I haven't seen it in decades, but isn't that generally considered one of the series' best?

[J. Allen]

tauntme wrote:

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Haha, "Bambi 2, WTF?"

I thought he was joking, but I looked it up and sure enough, "Bambi II".

[M]

Gaith wrote:

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But what's with the hating on "Parallels"? I haven't seen it in decades, but isn't that generally considered one of the series' best?

It is. But I'm sure Plinkett was more or less talking about the concept of mulitple parallel timelines as established by the episode; not the episode itself.

Anyways, bring on the ROTS review!

[Capt_Pickirk]

Does anyone know the music he plays at the end of his reviews??

It's catchy

[Dac]

bearcat` wrote:

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Brilliant? Brilliant. What movie were YOU watching?

11 minutes into the movie, and I had to quit.

First of all, I'm guessing that the "Star Date" is determined by examining the relative position of the stars....the universe is constantly expanding post big bang, at a fairly consistent rate. Therefore, you measure time by the position of stars, right?

So. The huge bad-guy ship shows up. The bad guys demand that the captain come over in a shuttle to negotiate cease-fire terms. Once he arrives, they ask the captain what the star date is.

What the fu*k? A ship that sophisticated, and they don't auto-scan the surrounding on arrival, and pretty much instantaneously know the star date? Explain that.

And why come over on a shuttle instead of beam over? Well, some pretty good reasons, and this is at least one good aspect of the movie......the bad guys have shields up, and it stands to reason that would prevent transporter beams just as much as phaser fire. But....I strongly suspect I'm giving the writers too much credit. Eleven minutes in, and this movie is a steaming pile of turd.

Really the first "uck" moment was on deck in the background...there is a crew member that is clearly not human, but is also just as certainly humanoid. This has been the bane of bad SF movies and TV for decades. They at least had an excuse for putting a rubber mask on a guy and calling that an alien, decades ago when budgets were tight and technology sucked, but this is the CGI age for crissakes. Sweet baby jesus, the aliens all came from different gravity, different atmospheres. How the hell can they all be on the same command deck, at ONE temperature, ONE atmospheric pressure, breathing the same air mixture, under the same gravity? What the fuck??? At least a couple would be in space suits. But we get mister crew member in a rubber mask....and later, the delivery nurse is just another humanoid alien with heavy makeup....but caucasian skin, of course. Retch.

Now, if you're going to finally answer the question of "where did life come from" with the answer " billions of years ago, a humanoid master race planted genetic seeds of approximate similarity in numerous solar systems, resulting in a broad variety of extremely-similar humanoid races" then, okay, I'd grudgingly accept it.

So, two arms, two legs, a head with two eyes, etcetera. Some funny rubber skin, move a couple of things around, maybe model the "alien" on an Earth animal. Retch and/or yawn. But where is the variation at least due to the fact that they came from different planets? For gods sake! Humans get a sunburn if there is a tiny variation in sunlight. You're gonna tell me that half a dozen alien types can be on the command deck with humans, and not be screaming in agony from the light being too dark, or too bright? Where is the equipment they're using to cope? What. The. Fuck!

Next puke moment is Mister Kirk. Yes, of course, when I'm evacuating an entire starship single-handedly, naturally there is going to be ample time to be carrying on a conversation over the radio with my pregnant wife.

Next puke moment is his pregant wife, who looks about 40 years old....yet Kirk looks like he is maybe 22 years old? It's not impossible, but...uck. Worst of all, of course, the actress su*ks donkey b*lls. Just horrible. And of course, as the baby is squirting out, they cut to scenes of the escape shuttles squirting out of the ship.
What a massive fu*king FAIL.

And, of course, they hold the conversation about what to name the kid at the moment of his birth. That's real credible......in the previous nine months, it just never occured to them to discuss this, but now that I'm ramming the starship into the bad guys, lets chat about baby names.

Whoever did this movie needs to have lighter fluid poured into his eyes and lit.

This is exactly how I feel when I think about the movie as a Trek movie. Fortunately, I can turn off that part of my brain.

*puts in trekspeak*

I can just ignore it like Data ignores emotions by turning off his emotion chip.

That should do it...

Red Letter Media/Mr Plinkett is spot on. If they'd made the movie to pander to you and me it would have been a critical and commercial failure and killed the Star Trek franchise outright for at LEAST 40 years. That is until someone comes along and does what this film did only with no care to the previous fans. Then we really would have got an incomprehensible slock of shit, fortunately for them, 70% of fans would be dead/dying/too old to give a shit by that point in their lives.

Again, the trekspeak.

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination's. It's what has, and always will keep Trek from dying.

[Too Much Fun]

I know this is something a mod should be saying, but what the hell. This is not the thread for posting one's own critique about the movie. It's a thread for discussing someone else's critique about the movie. I love that retro 'lobby' music too (I tend to dig old timey movie things), but him singing over it in his stupid 'old man' voice was a bit annoying.

[Dac]

Too Much Fun wrote:

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I know this is something a mod should be saying, but what the hell. This is not the thread for posting one's own critique about the movie. It's a thread for discussing someone else's critique about the movie. I love that retro 'lobby' music too (I tend to dig old timey movie things), but him singing over it in his stupid 'old man' voice was a bit annoying.

Oh I agree completely, I was just attempting to bring the BLIND RAEG!!!!! back on topic.

[Gaith]

NCC-1701 wrote:

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It is. But I'm sure Plinkett was more or less talking about the concept of mulitple parallel timelines as established by the episode; not the episode itself.

He also called it "lazy" and "crap". Besides, did he think the Mirror Universe was the only parallel timeline? And just because there maybe be infinitely more timelines, it doesn't make anyone's actions any less important. As Einstein or whoever says, everything we do is meaningless in the long run, but it's vital that we do it anyway.

[firehawk12]

Hah, I caught this yesterday. It kind of sums up why I enjoyed the movie at first but can't stand to watch it on multiple viewings. That weird "Good -> Bad -> Good" scale is a perfect explanation, in that it sits next to First Contact as an "entertaining yet vapid" film.

[iguana_tonante]

I'm confused: bearcat`, have you ever seen any Star Trek before?

bearcat` wrote:

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Now, if you're going to finally answer the question of "where did life come from" with the answer " billions of years ago, a humanoid master race planted genetic seeds of approximate similarity in numerous solar systems, resulting in a broad variety of extremely-similar humanoid races" then, okay, I'd grudgingly accept it.

Well, that's good, because that's exactly what happens in one episode of TNG.

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

One thing about his reviews is that they have an edge. He sounds friendlier and more boisterous here, but he still has the edge. He tones down the killer motif in a logical way, which is to say that he didn't get rid of it completely, and he allows himself to still act a bit unstable.

Good job, Mike

[Psion]

I thought his approach was novel, but there was one review where he lingered a little too long on the hooker in the basement pleading for her life and it went (for me) from being funny to amusing to weird to uncomfortable as the scene dragged on and on.

The pleasant thing about his approach is that, in addition to his gimmick, he's put serious thought into his reviews and he's often shed new light on old films. He's a clever fellow.

I just wanna know what's holding up the pizza rolls. Hopefully they'll get here in time for part IV of Starship Exeter.

[Trekker4747]

"Don't forget to vulcanize your nacelle" is my new most favorite term ever.

[Kelso]

"My favorite Star Trek movie is The Motion Picture. Yeah, the boring one."