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Old August 27 2010, 03:26 AM   #1
The Borgified Corpse
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Sex & the gender gap

I'm hoping to start a dialogue that will bridge the gap between men & women in our society. Men & women have a lot of differences, biologically & socially. But what is it that makes them generally unable to communicate with each other? I think I have a theory. Feel free to suggest alternate ones. And while this isn't the only root cause, I think it may be one of the most significant & illustrative ones:

Men are under the very strong impression that women don't want to have sex.

There's this frequently recurring pattern in male/female relations where men are portrayed as voracious animals willing to do anything & everything just to "get some" while women are portrayed as frigid, saintly types that have to be bribed or tricked into having sex. If I can speak as a man (not necessarily representing all men), I think men only come across this way because, of all their physical desires, sex seems to be the most difficult one to fulfill. Men seem so single-minded because it's such a simple thing that seems so damn difficult. And men can't really understand why, considering, by most accounts, sex is considered to be a pretty fun, pleasurable experience for all involved.

I'm not saying women have to be having more sex. But it seems as if women don't really respect the sexual desires of men. Respecting them doesn't mean that you have to indulge them. Respect means not regarding male sexuality as an ignorant beast that needs to be civilized to the point of obscurity.

What do you think? Am I on the right track here?
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Old August 27 2010, 03:34 AM   #2
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

I'm not under that impression about women. Can't speak for all though.

The closest I think I've heard to the truth was in, believe it or not, the movie City Slickers.

Billy Crystal: Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
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Old August 27 2010, 03:38 AM   #3
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

I'm not under the impression women don't want to have sex. Women want to have sex as much as men do but our society still tries to repress a woman's sexuality and thus comes the myth that women don't want sex. It also results in some women feeling guilty after a one night stand or what not.
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Old August 27 2010, 03:40 AM   #4
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Just about all the women I know are keenly interested in sex.
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Old August 27 2010, 03:45 AM   #5
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

I think it would be correct to say that there is a greater percentage of men who would like to bang every hot skirt that wanders by than there are women who want to bang every good-looking guy they see. Anyone disagree w/that?
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Old August 27 2010, 03:49 AM   #6
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Robert Maxwell wrote: View Post
Just about all the women I know are keenly interested in sex.
Can you introduce me to some?
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Old August 27 2010, 03:58 AM   #7
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

The Borgified Corpse wrote: View Post
I'm not saying women have to be having more sex. But it seems as if women don't really respect the sexual desires of men. Respecting them doesn't mean that you have to indulge them. Respect means not regarding male sexuality as an ignorant beast that needs to be civilized to the point of obscurity.

What do you think? Am I on the right track here?
An interesting idea, but I disagree. I think you're placing too much of the burden on women, when, historically, it has been men, not women, who have dictated a woman's sexual role in society. And while women have been gaining more power over their gender roles and sexuality in Western society, I there is a lot of history yet to overcome.

Women have been venerated for their sexuality, worshiped for it. Some of the earliest evidence of human beliefs is of fertility religions, with symbols of the woman's sexuality worshiped -- the snake, the tree, the moon. Then of course that sexuality came to be feared, as in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Woman's sexuality became the evil, and those early symbols of fertility religions, the snake, the tree, the shapely woman, became the images of Original Sin.

For centuries it's gone back and forth, with female sexuality being either demonized or honored. I think the current image of the woman as frigid and nonsexual is a holdover from the Victorian mode of thought, which shifted from women being dirty to women being innocent and in need of protection lest they become corrupted -- hence women (or at least "good" women) being seen as less sexual than men.

Putting the burden on women to "respect" men's sexual needs is actually completely off the mark, as it has generally and historically been men who set the precedent for how women's sexuality is viewed. It's certainly not as simple as saying it is the fault of one gender or the other, and so neither is it the responsibility of one gender to repair misunderstandings or misperceptions.
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Old August 27 2010, 04:25 AM   #8
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

I agree with the OP, that's how it's always seemed to me. And the Billy Crystal line.

This may have worked better over in TNZ, where rthere has been a fairly unrestrained discussion on similar themes, which explicitly disagrees with the OP.

(I said explicit, hur hur hur.)
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Old August 27 2010, 04:34 AM   #9
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Well, this is just an opinion, based only in observation, but it has always seemed to me that its the guys who have trouble getting laid who seem to think women must not like sex. I never hear this from the pimpdaddies.
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Old August 27 2010, 04:34 AM   #10
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Australis wrote: View Post
I agree with the OP, that's how it's always seemed to me. And the Billy Crystal line.

This may have worked better over in TNZ, where rthere has been a fairly unrestrained discussion on similar themes, which explicitly disagrees with the OP.

(I said explicit, hur hur hur.)
But how can the resolution of this "problem" be the responsibility of women, when it is men's perceptions of women that, historically contribute the most to the cause?
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Old August 27 2010, 04:42 AM   #11
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Don't know. It's just perceptions. They vary from person to person. How can they be changed? Too much inertia,
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Old August 27 2010, 04:48 AM   #12
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

thestrangequark wrote: View Post
Australis wrote: View Post
I agree with the OP, that's how it's always seemed to me. And the Billy Crystal line.

This may have worked better over in TNZ, where rthere has been a fairly unrestrained discussion on similar themes, which explicitly disagrees with the OP.

(I said explicit, hur hur hur.)
But how can the resolution of this "problem" be the responsibility of women, when it is men's perceptions of women that, historically contribute the most to the cause?
Yeah, you can just look at the language that MEN use to describe having sex:

Did HE "get some"?

Did SHE "give it up"?

Its as though women have this big box of sex that they stingily dole out.
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Old August 27 2010, 04:51 AM   #13
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Some women aren't interested in sex. But most women just aren't interested in sex with you.
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Old August 27 2010, 04:53 AM   #14
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Kelso wrote: View Post
Some women aren't interested in sex. But most women just aren't interested in sex with you.
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Old August 27 2010, 05:14 AM   #15
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Re: Sex & the gender gap

Kelso wrote: View Post
Some women aren't interested in sex. But most women just aren't interested in sex with you.
EOT
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