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Old January 19 2010, 10:39 PM   #1
Locutus of Bored
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Location: Huntington Beach, California
I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

I am now reaping what I sowed for asking for The Dark One's assistance in saving the city of Huntington Beach, California from an invasion of his demon hordes; namely Twilight-loving tweens.

As a result of my pact with Satan, the Lord is punishing Huntington Beach with tornado warnings (sea spouts were already spotted off the coast), monsoon winds and rain, lightning, hail, and some flooding. Some nearby stores have had their ceilings collapse in places.

The worst part was not being able to access the internet for several hours earlier in the day due to a power outage. FORGIVE ME LORD. I'll never use that Team Edward doll as a voodoo doll ever again, I promise.

The main part of the storm has just moved on, but there's supposed to be a worse storm coming tomorrow. So-called "scientists" are trying to say that this is all caused by El Niño, but what do they know?

So, as a byproduct of my new-found righteousness, I give this topic to you, the TrekBBS faithful, to confess any pacts with the devil you might have made for your own benefit that had the opposite effect in the long run. If there is any bad weather or random drama you want to blame on the Lord punishing you, this is the place to do it.
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My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Last edited by Locutus of Bored; January 19 2010 at 11:32 PM.
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Old January 19 2010, 10:51 PM   #2
Trekker4747
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

I made a pact with the devil once to give me a green-light when I was rushing to KFC to get dinner. God punished me with a dry wetnap.
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Old January 19 2010, 10:58 PM   #3
Miss Chicken
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

I have never made a pact with the Devil. I don't even know hw to get in contact with him. Does he have a phone number, or do I have to summon him via some strange ritual?
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Old January 19 2010, 10:59 PM   #4
Lindley
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

^Why not just email him?

I heard about someone else who made a deal.....

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Old January 19 2010, 11:01 PM   #5
Miss Chicken
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

OK what is his email address. I assume he used Hotmail.
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Old January 19 2010, 11:01 PM   #6
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

I'd sell my soul for a Formula 1 racing car.
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Old January 19 2010, 11:26 PM   #7
Locutus of Bored
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Miss Chicken wrote: View Post
I have never made a pact with the Devil. I don't even know hw to get in contact with him. Does he have a phone number, or do I have to summon him via some strange ritual?
The number of the Beast is:

1-666-LDI-ABLO (phone)
1-666-THE-DRK1 (fax)

No solicitors please, Hell is already full of those guys.

Or you can email him at www.IMBLLLzebub2@hotmail.com
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
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Old January 19 2010, 11:38 PM   #8
ManOnTheWave
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Lindley wrote: View Post
^Why not just email him?

I heard about someone else who made a deal.....
Oh, I get it. He sold his soul for the box and ended up with Megan Fox. Horrible.
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Old January 19 2010, 11:42 PM   #9
RobertVA
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
(snip)
No solicitors please, Hell is already full of those guys.
(snip)
Just more reason to annoy them.

Nobody claimed hell would be a picnic!
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Old January 19 2010, 11:42 PM   #10
Trekker4747
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

I hear the Devil plans on getting onto Twitter, but he's always busy with his farm on Farmville to bother with it.
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Old January 20 2010, 12:41 AM   #11
1001001
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
I am now reaping what I sowed for asking for The Dark One's assistance in saving the city of Huntington Beach, California from an invasion of his demon hordes; namely Twilight-loving tweens.

As a result of my pact with Satan, the Lord is punishing Huntington Beach with tornado warnings (sea spouts were already spotted off the coast), monsoon winds and rain, lightning, hail, and some flooding. Some nearby stores have had their ceilings collapse in places.

The worst part was not being able to access the internet for several hours earlier in the day due to a power outage. FORGIVE ME LORD. I'll never use that Team Edward doll as a voodoo doll ever again, I promise.

The main part of the storm has just moved on, but there's supposed to be a worse storm coming tomorrow. So-called "scientists" are trying to say that this is all caused by El Niño, but what do they know?
Don't worry.

Obama will send aid and then turn it into a political issue, just to improve his standing with his fellow beach combers.
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Old January 20 2010, 12:57 AM   #12
Miss Chicken
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Location: Howrah, Hobart, Tasmania
Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
Miss Chicken wrote: View Post
I have never made a pact with the Devil. I don't even know hw to get in contact with him. Does he have a phone number, or do I have to summon him via some strange ritual?
The number of the Beast is:

1-666-LDI-ABLO (phone)
1-666-THE-DRK1 (fax)

No solicitors please, Hell is already full of those guys.

Or you can email him at www.IMBLLLzebub2@hotmail.com
I tried to phone him but I was put on hold with only muzak to listen to. A voice eventually announced that I was 7656th in the queue so I gave up.

I think that muzak was invented by the devil.

I emailed him but I am yet to received I reply.
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Old January 20 2010, 01:00 AM   #13
Lindley
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Location: Fairfax, VA
Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

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"So apparently the really smart zombies have automatic weapons!"
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Old January 20 2010, 01:32 AM   #14
Misfit Toy
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Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post

Or you can email him at www.IMBLLLzebub2@hotmail.com
BLLLzebub2??

Who was BLLLzebub1?
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Old January 20 2010, 01:34 AM   #15
trampledamage
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Location: hitching a ride to Erebor
Re: I Made a Voodoo Pact with the Devil

Misfit Toy wrote: View Post
Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post

Or you can email him at www.IMBLLLzebub2@hotmail.com
BLLLzebub2??

Who was BLLLzebub1?
That's his private e-mail for the family.
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And he says that like it's a bad thing...
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