Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks

Shatmandu · December 19 2009, 05:15 AM

Hiya, folks.

I've made a command decision on the caption contests I do: no more running tallies on wins. It drives me up a damned wall doing the changes every week, and I want these to be fun rather than a chore.

If anyone else wants to post a running tab, that's fine with me. I just can't do it.

Anyways, this past week was epic. And we've gone beyond snorting liquid and moved to trail mix in the sinuses. Can shit pants be far behind?

My favorites were:

Elf Malakai wrote:

"I am unfamiliar with this man's bicycle."

Hanukkah Solo wrote:

Princess Leia: "Help me, Captain Robau! You're my only hope!"

scottyclaus wrote:

Elf Malakai wrote:

scottyclaus wrote:

cooleddie74 wrote:

Even Nero couldn't believe it wasn't butter.

Naughty Boy wrote:

Nero, Corporate Efficiency Consultant: "FIRE EVERYBODY!"

Elf Malakai wrote:

"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!"

scottyclaus wrote:

captain crow wrote:

Ayel: Hey Assface, I've picked up a federation starship.
Assface Nero: [fart sounds]
Ayel: But, Sir.
Assface Nero: [louder fart sounds]

Gertch wrote:

"Who mixed up the ketchup and red matter again! What a world, what a world."

cooleddie74 wrote:

REBOOT EVERYTHING!!!!!

Alrik wrote:

Nero: "I can explain this...no...really. Um, just give me a minute."

Naughty Boy wrote:

Nero: "Tiger Woods was a great man...but that was another wife!"

scottyclaus wrote:

Man, those were great. Nicely played, everyone.

This week's bit is:

And the oddity:

Have fun.

Joe, fin

Shatmandu · December 19 2009, 05:16 AM

Scotty: "The other me has hair?"

Uhura: "OPRAH'S ON!"

Gep Malakai · December 19 2009, 05:32 AM

Thanks for the wins! I'm surprised, though that you picked my weakest caption.

Scotty: "C'mon, do it."

Keenser: "No."

Scotty: "Please?"

Keenser: "I said no."

Scotty: "You did it for last year's graduating class."

Keener: [grumbles]

Scotty: "Mr. Spock will love it."

Keener: [sighs, singing] "Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, you great big greedy nincompoop..."

The new Constitution-class anti-gravity hallways make panty shots 50% more efficient.

Jonas Grumby · December 19 2009, 05:34 AM

Pegg: "Hi. I'm Simon Pegg and this is Bea Arthur. We're here for the Star Trek auditions."

Uhura: "Outta my way, Hennessy! And I swear to God if you try to catch a reflection off this floor up my skirt again as I go by, I'll kick your balls up into your throat!"

Shatmandu · December 19 2009, 05:45 AM

Scotty: "What arsehole told you I was a drug dealer?"

No matter how far she ran, Saldana couldn't find the rest of her costume.

Plomeek Broth · December 19 2009, 05:50 AM

Leggy Uhura Hightails It from the Evil Lense Flare Monster

Jonas Grumby · December 19 2009, 05:53 AM

Cruel Crewman: "Hey, Stick! If Nichelle Nichols had tried to run like that, she'd have knocked herself unconscious!"

LeadHead · December 19 2009, 05:57 AM

Get Ellen Degeneres in here and we're all set.

Sulu: (offscreen) 5 bucks says she crashes into the cart.
Chekov: (offscreen) You're on.

Herkimer Jitty · December 19 2009, 07:41 AM

Kirk: [Offscreen] "Is it a fast ship?"

Scotty: "Are ye kidding? This bonny lass is the ship that made tha Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."

Kirk: "Bullshit."

Scotty: "Up yer shaft."

Running Spock: "Bitch is stealing my gig!"

Uhura: "Must... hurry... before... free food sample stand... closes. Must... stop... talking like SHATNER!"

Franklin · December 19 2009, 04:43 PM

Average Trek BBS poster's first take on this picture: She looks photo-shopped.

Uhura (to herself as she runs to Spock's quarters): It's pon farr time! It's pon farr time!

middyseafort · December 19 2009, 08:38 PM

Uhura: Where the fuck is the ladies' room on this ship?!

Rat Boy · December 19 2009, 08:45 PM

Scotty: "You eat like a bean and you're done!"

Keenser (thinking): Guess he doesn't know my species are cannibals.

Saldana (thinking): Cameron didn't make me do all this running shit for Avatar.

Franklin · December 19 2009, 10:26 PM

In between takes:
Pegg: It's a big laugh line, Roy. I wanna get it right when we film the scene. Let me run a few more by you. How about, I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting.
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's bleeding exciting!
Deep Roy: Don't improvise.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Did it.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Worst yet.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Got it.
Pegg: Thanks.

Rat Boy · December 19 2009, 11:01 PM

Scotty: "Hang on; he always needs me to hold his hand when I take him to the bathroom for tinkies."

trampledamage · December 20 2009, 12:05 AM

Franklin wrote:

In between takes:
Pegg: It's a big laugh line, Roy. I wanna get it right when we film the scene. Let me run a few more by you. How about, I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting.
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's bleeding exciting!
Deep Roy: Don't improvise.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Did it.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Worst yet.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Got it.
Pegg: Thanks.

Brilliant!

December 19 2009, 05:16 AM	#2
Shatmandu Vice Admiral	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Scotty: "The other me has hair?" Uhura: "OPRAH'S ON!" __________________ The TOS Caption Contest! The Star Trek XI Caption Contest! The Animated Series Caption Contest!

December 19 2009, 05:32 AM	#3
Gep Malakai Vice Admiral	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Thanks for the wins! I'm surprised, though that you picked my weakest caption. Scotty: "C'mon, do it." Keenser: "No." Scotty: "Please?" Keenser: "I said no." Scotty: "You did it for last year's graduating class." Keener: [grumbles] Scotty: "Mr. Spock will love it." Keener: [sighs, singing] "Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, you great big greedy nincompoop..." The new Constitution-class anti-gravity hallways make panty shots 50% more efficient. __________________ "From the darkness you must fall, failed and weak, to darkness all." -Kataris

December 19 2009, 05:34 AM	#4
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Pegg: "Hi. I'm Simon Pegg and this is Bea Arthur. We're here for the Star Trek auditions." Uhura: "Outta my way, Hennessy! And I swear to God if you try to catch a reflection off this floor up my skirt again as I go by, I'll kick your balls up into your throat!" __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

December 19 2009, 05:50 AM	#6
Plomeek Broth Commander Location: Tennessee	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Leggy Uhura Hightails It from the Evil Lense Flare Monster

December 19 2009, 05:53 AM	#7
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Cruel Crewman: "Hey, Stick! If Nichelle Nichols had tried to run like that, she'd have knocked herself unconscious!" __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

STAR TREK

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ABOUT US

December 19 2009, 05:45 AM	#5
Shatmandu Vice Admiral	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Scotty: "What arsehole told you I was a drug dealer?" No matter how far she ran, Saldana couldn't find the rest of her costume. __________________ The TOS Caption Contest! The Star Trek XI Caption Contest! The Animated Series Caption Contest!

December 19 2009, 05:57 AM	#8
LeadHead The Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot Location: Somewhere with Internet access.	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Get Ellen Degeneres in here and we're all set. Sulu: (offscreen) 5 bucks says she crashes into the cart. Chekov: (offscreen) You're on. __________________ Current Caption Contests: TNG TOS Movies I-X

December 19 2009, 07:41 AM	#9
Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Location: Herkimer Jitty	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Kirk: [Offscreen] "Is it a fast ship?" Scotty: "Are ye kidding? This bonny lass is the ship that made tha Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs." Kirk: "Bullshit." Scotty: "Up yer shaft." Running Spock: "Bitch is stealing my gig!" Uhura: "Must... hurry... before... free food sample stand... closes. Must... stop... talking like SHATNER!" __________________ Fans are like space heaters. All we have to offer is hot air.

December 19 2009, 04:43 PM	#10
Franklin Rear Admiral Location: In the bleachers	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Average Trek BBS poster's first take on this picture: She looks photo-shopped. Uhura (to herself as she runs to Spock's quarters): It's pon farr time! It's pon farr time! __________________ Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. -- Mark Twain

December 19 2009, 08:38 PM	#11
middyseafort Rear Admiral Location: The Bay Area	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Uhura: Where the fuck is the ladies' room on this ship?! __________________ A mild-mannered reporter Literary Masturbation

December 19 2009, 08:45 PM	#12
Rat Boy Vice Admiral Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Scotty: "You eat like a bean and you're done!" Keenser (thinking): Guess he doesn't know my species are cannibals. Saldana (thinking): Cameron didn't make me do all this running shit for Avatar.

December 19 2009, 10:26 PM	#13
Franklin Rear Admiral Location: In the bleachers	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks In between takes: Pegg: It's a big laugh line, Roy. I wanna get it right when we film the scene. Let me run a few more by you. How about, I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: No. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: No. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting. Deep Roy: No. Pegg: I like this ship! It's bleeding exciting! Deep Roy: Don't improvise. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: No. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: Did it. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: Worst yet. Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting! Deep Roy: Got it. Pegg: Thanks. __________________ Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. -- Mark Twain

December 19 2009, 11:01 PM	#14
Rat Boy Vice Admiral Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!	Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks Scotty: "Hang on; he always needs me to hold his hand when I take him to the bathroom for tinkies."