Admiral Brukk's Lonely Hearts Club

[freak]

Yes, I'm lonely as well..been lonely for years. There was this one guy who I thought would be with me forever, but then he moved away suddenly and I have never heard from him since then. When we were together, he was always such a pain in the neck sometimes, acting like a big child when we went out, making a scene sometimes(which was quite embarrasing). Yet, when I was with him, he made me laugh and I loved being around him. Then I moved away suddenly and when I did, he was really upset. Once in 1998 or so, he came to visit me in my new house, and all those feelings came back to haunt me. When he left, I didn't think I'd ever see him again. Then one time he called me and said something like he was moving in with a nurse that he met and for all I know they could be married now with five kids.
Right now I feel as if I'm in a black hole, trying to get out without a tractor beam. I'm also jobless at the moment so it really sucks..and I'll be 30 in two years and I ask myself everyday the same question: "what do I have to show for it?" So yes, I can definitely understand everyone else's lonliness.
And don't ask about friends..I talk to a few online occasionally(which has been brief but good) but the "real ones" have deserted me and left, living out their own lives. One lives in FL with her wonderful husband and another in NY doing god knows what there. I haven't heard from the one in NY since 2003 when she left! And she promised me that she'd send me some pics of her wedding! Well all I can say to her is good riddance!(can't yall see I'm a bit bitter?)

[The Grim Ghost]

I'm lonely in a different kind of way.

I'm just isolated, sometimes I go for weeks without talking to anyone in real life, other than at work.

I have a couple of friends that I talk to on the phone occasionally and some close internet friends, that is it.

I really miss being able to hang out with people in real life.

Lucky for me, I am fairly good looking and play music so I don't have to suffer in the sex department. Thanks to internet dating I can have sex whenever I want to. But I seem unable to form a real romantic relationship anymore. Afterwards I have no wish to see or talk to any of them again. And it seems rather meaningless.

I don't know how to change and I don't know how to make real life friends anymore.

Actually my life is pretty awesome mostly and I'm usually okay with being alone. But the times that I'm NOT okay with it...very hard to deal with.

[Joshua Howard]

^ I can see where you're coming from, destro. Have you ever considered a total reboot? Move, set down new roots, escape old loot that ties you to the past, etc.? I know that is something that I think about from time to time.

[The Grim Ghost]

^I'm kind of in a similar situation to yours. I also help care for a sick relative. So at least for the short term, moving isn't really an option.

[Kestra]

I'm completely surrounded by people but I feel utterly alone. It won't always be so, I hope.

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I have been rather lonely for quite a long time now. And I turn 40 next year, so I'd better put a stop to this pretty quick...guys my age aren't supposed to be lonely. We're supposed to be married.

[Tomato]

Funny thing is I enjoy being alone.. Which scares me. I come back from work say Hi to the family and jump downstairs to play video games or work on my MBA applications. It is scary as I'm 27 soon, but most of all my future goal of working like 80+ hours in the week would leave me no time to find somebody. But it is weird as I'm at peace with this. Should I care that I'm pushing 27 with no hope of find a girlfriend or a wife? These things take time and effort and neither which I want to do.

For me it feels like a state of mind I intentionally push people away. I try not to talk to people at work as it leaves me less time to work and get out early. I load up on these courses "hoping" that it will help me in the future. It is like after a day of putting on a facade I just want to be alone so I can be/feel whatever and not feel like I have to conform to anybody or thing. Somepeople need to talk to people after being in isolation for so long. I on the other hand need to be in isolation after being near people.

[Kestra]

Mr. Laser Beam wrote:

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I have been rather lonely for quite a long time now. And I turn 40 next year, so I'd better put a stop to this pretty quick...guys my age aren't supposed to be lonely. We're supposed to be married.

Oh please, there's no "supposed to be." You are what you are, and if you want to be something different, you take steps towards that. Guys your age aren't supposed to be anything but almost-40.

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I will say that I had a life changing experience a few months ago - when I first became a Bleacher Creature. But that's just being a part of a large group for sports purposes. Not intended for use as a social networking tool.

[Daneel]

I agree with Kestra, Mr. Laser Beam -- there's no age at all where you're "supposed to be married". It's not a mandatory part of life, and it's not for everyone anyway; I'm not completely opposed to the idea, but I don't really see myself getting married, and I'm certainly okay with that. If anyone ever tells me that I "should be married by now", they're going to get an earful.

As for the subject at hand, though... yeah, I'm kind of lonely. I probably wouldn't admit this to too many people in real life, but it's true. Friend-wise, I have no one I'm close to... I don't think I've gone out socializing with anyone in months. There are days I don't even have any human contact.

It's only started to become noticeable in the last year, when I finally decided to move out and live on my own. I had always lived with my family, so I had them around, but I felt I was becoming too dependent on them, so I left. Plus, I was in school up till a couple years ago, so I had other students/peers that I could talk to and occasionally socialize with, even if I wasn't close to any of them. I was constantly surrounded by people, and now that I'm not, it's really become clear to me how much of an isolated loner I really am. I also haven't had steady work in a while... just odd jobs here and there, so workplace friendships aren't really possible at the moment. My current job is seasonal, and while there are plenty of people around, most are teenagers, and I can't really connect with them (nor do I have much of a desire to).

Honestly, I don't know what to do. On some level, I've always known I was a bit anti-social, but I've always shrugged it off and tried not to let it get to me, but that's been harder to do now that I'm on my own. I'm just at a bit of a loss, frankly.

And don't even get me started on romance... well, okay, if you insist.

I've never had any sort of non-platonic relationship with a woman (assuming, of course, that one doesn't count a handful of one-night stands as "relationships"); frankly, I'm not even sure I could be in one. I wouldn't know what to do... but since my status as a single man is unlikely to change anytime in the near future, that's probably not something I really need to worry about. I just never get the sense that any women I meet are interested in me (well, on occasion, a couple have openly expressed interest, but regrettably it was never mutual). Plus I have some self-esteem issues that date back a number of years, many of which continue to plague me. On a conscious level, I know I'm intelligent, friendly, and nice-looking (or at least that's what I'd like to believe ), but it's just hard for me to fathom the idea of a woman I like being interested in me. And thus we arrive at my constant singleness.

Like the friendship thing, I try not to let this bother me; I've always said that a person shouldn't let their happiness or fulfillment be dictated by whether or not they have a romantic partner. But at times, I do get lonely... and, yeah, I'll admit it, horny as well. It would be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes, someone to just be with -- mentally and physically. I suppose that, for most people, it's a natural human need. Unfortunately, for me, it ain't happening, and it's not likely to anytime soon; I just don't see myself breaking out of this isolation I've driven myself into. I mean, I never say never... maybe some day I'll be able to escape my pattern -- but I wouldn't bet on it.

Well... that's my soul-baring whine for the day. Who's next?

[Emher]

Zyborg Ragescream wrote:

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By the way, these guys also had a lonely hearts club... band... thing.

That's awesome And yeah the title of the thread is totally intentional.

backstabbed wrote:

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I'm a lonely dude.
I'm convinced that no female has ever been interested in me. This may simply be a result of my absolute inability to read signals, but I still can't help feeling that I'll be single forever.

I think that there's at least a a few girls that have been intrested in me. Thing is those that have been around me have been nuts or severly damaged in some way, seeing as I seem to have an air of "big brother" around me and girls with low self esteem attract to that. My conscience doesn't allow me to push them away, but I could also never enter into a relationship with them since while I'm lonely, I don't need that much additonal head ache. Look, I know all women are supposed to be crazy (not saying that I agree), but I'd like to think I can aim a bit higher.

But also if I do get to know a girl which is relatively well balanced it's one of two options: she's already in a relationship, or she at the speed of light deems me a "friend".

I'd like a break please

[Etched]

I get desperately lonely sometimes. I've not worked in three years due to health problems and living in a rural area means that the internet is really the only contact I have with people outside my immediate family most days.

I've always been a bit of a loner and a lot of the time I doesn't really bother me too much but every now and then it'll just hit me and I'd love for some one to phone up and say "let's go for pizza" or "let's catch a movie" but over the years all the friends I've had have slowly dropped out of my life. My brother is trying to persuade me to sign up to a dating site but to be honest its platonic friendship I miss the most. I don't want the complications that come with a romantic relationship.

[trekkiebaggio]

I get lonely sometimes. Having spent so much time away from home the last few years (with uni and working at Disneyworld) I have a lot of friends but most of them are dotted around the country or the world. So I only have a handful of them at home, and only a few that I'd say I'm really close to.

Romantically...yeah but I'm not *too* bothered about it. I'm not properly over the American girl I fell in love with yet so I'm not ready to start seriously dating somebody. And I don't want to go out with someone just because I'm a bit lonely.

I still keep in touch with a lot of people through MSN and Facebook but its not the same. It's a bit weird spending all that time with people and then suddenly you just don't see them for ages (especially when you used to live with them).

[Warp Coil]

Tomato wrote:

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It is scary as I'm 27 soon, but most of all my future goal of working like 80+ hours in the week would leave me no time to find somebody. But it is weird as I'm at peace with this. Should I care that I'm pushing 27 with no hope of find a girlfriend or a wife? These things take time and effort and neither which I want to do.

I'm 28 with no hope of finding a girlfriend, either. I'm mostly okay with it. I keep myself very occupied most of the time - two jobs, grad school part-time. I have a small group of good friends and I see people at least a couple of times a week. When I need something to do, I go to the gym or read a book or watch a movie. I typically have no problem keeping my days occupied with one thing or another.

Romantic relationships seem like something healthy that I should pursue, but I have a fair amount of social anxiety about the subject matter. I'm also incredibly picky. I wouldn't just pick up some random girl just because she seemed interested. There has to be attraction, and I dare say that's rare for me to come across.

[Emher]

destro wrote:

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Lucky for me, I am fairly good looking and play music so I don't have to suffer in the sex department. Thanks to internet dating I can have sex whenever I want to. But I seem unable to form a real romantic relationship anymore. Afterwards I have no wish to see or talk to any of them again. And it seems rather meaningless.

Well I'm not hideous, but I have a bit of extra weight and can't play a note to save my life, so it's not that easy for me in that department. Would you say the Internet sex thing is a good way to go though? I've been thinking more and more about this because of the simple fact that the aforementioned 25th birthday is approaching, and I'm still a virgin. And it's bugging me more and more for each year. Would you say it's a good idea to the Internet route as long as I'm open with it, or should I not even try until I've (somehow) gotten it out of the way?