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Old September 21 2009, 02:15 AM   #16
Captain Ice
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
Tharpdevenport wrote: View Post
Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
I like to eat cookie dough.
Oh, hell yes. Typically, I used to eat it until I had a bad stomach.
I buy it off the shelf and eat it right out of the packaging.

tsq: Hamburger Helper is not an abomination. *Not* having Hamburger Helper is an abomination.
Amen.

Great way to make dinner in a hurry when you get off work an hour late, are exhausted, and have someplace to be that night.

trampledamage wrote: View Post
Oh okay, it was while you were mixing? I don't know how American pudding is made - is it cooked or just mixed up and then eaten?

In which case I think the eggs curdled. It can happen when the eggs are cold. You would get what appeared to be lumps of eggs.
Some puddings are cooked and some not over here. I'm operating under the assumption that his eggs curdled or were old.
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Old September 21 2009, 02:22 AM   #17
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

My wife once put cinnamon in a chicken dish she was making instead of ginger - the result was certainly interesting...
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Old September 21 2009, 02:25 AM   #18
Mr. Laser Beam
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

trampledamage wrote: View Post
Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
trampledamage wrote: View Post
If you had a well of eggs sitting by themselves when you cooked the pudding - you would get scrambled eggs out of it.
No, it wasn't like that. I was just mixing the stuff up (eggs being one of these ingredients), following the recipe exactly as instructed, and boom, I saw little bits of scrambled egg in it. I had always assumed that to make scrambled eggs, you had to, well, scramble them! I wasn't doing that.
Oh okay, it was while you were mixing? I don't know how American pudding is made - is it cooked or just mixed up and then eaten?

In which case I think the eggs curdled. It can happen when the eggs are cold. You would get what appeared to be lumps of eggs.
Curdled? Do you mean spoiled? They were definitely fresh eggs.

American pudding is cooked, BTW. At least when you make it from scratch, like I was trying to do.
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Old September 21 2009, 03:35 AM   #19
Gary Mitchell
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Misfit Toy wrote: View Post
My wife once put cinnamon in a chicken dish she was making instead of ginger - the result was certainly interesting...
I saw a Little House on the Prarie like that once. Nellie asked Almonzo to dinner but was then stupid enough to have Laura cook it for her. She really messed up the ingredients.

I just looked it up. The dish was supposed to be cinnamon chicken but Laura used cayenne pepper instead of cinnamon. Much water was consumed.
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Old September 21 2009, 03:48 AM   #20
trampledamage
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
trampledamage wrote: View Post
Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post

No, it wasn't like that. I was just mixing the stuff up (eggs being one of these ingredients), following the recipe exactly as instructed, and boom, I saw little bits of scrambled egg in it. I had always assumed that to make scrambled eggs, you had to, well, scramble them! I wasn't doing that.
Oh okay, it was while you were mixing? I don't know how American pudding is made - is it cooked or just mixed up and then eaten?

In which case I think the eggs curdled. It can happen when the eggs are cold. You would get what appeared to be lumps of eggs.
Curdled? Do you mean spoiled? They were definitely fresh eggs.

American pudding is cooked, BTW. At least when you make it from scratch, like I was trying to do.
No, curdled doesn't mean spoiled - it can happen to fresh eggs.

Having just looked up the definition, curdled basically means "coagulate" - to turn solid. It's the same thing that happens to milk when you make cheese.

I don't know exactly what causes eggs to curdle - it's something to do with the eggs reacting to the other liquids in the mixture. My mum taught me to always add a spoon full of flour when I add the egg to a cake mixture to stop the curdling.

Having the eggs curdle doesn't make the cake taste bad, it just affects the raising of the sponge.
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Old September 21 2009, 04:32 AM   #21
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
I would like to hear an explanation, though. From those of you who *can* cook. How the hell do scrambled eggs appear in the middle of a pudding mixture? This was a long time ago, but I do remember I put in the exact ingredients the recipe called for. How could I have fucked up that badly? What did I do wrong?
I'm assuming you were at the point of either just adding the eggs, or cooking the mixture on the stove?

When adding eggs to something warmer, the eggs need to be heated first by adding some of the warmer mixture to them. This also makes a difference in that as you're cooking it, they don't tend to cook into chunks. Eggs need a gradual rise in temperature, and too much heat can also cause it.

It's very common, and happens to a lot of people. A lot of people end up sieving (straining) puddings and custards.
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Old September 21 2009, 04:51 AM   #22
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

When I was a kid, my grandmother and I tried to make a chocolate mousse. It was a disaster from start to finish.

I don't remember a whole lot, but I do remember her starting by saying, "First we need [some number] cups of milk," and promptly pouring the milk into her sugar bowl. Then, replacing the sugar, she managed to lose hold of the bag and poured sugar all over the kitchen table.

The final result was anything but mousselike - it was soup in the refrigerator, and harder than granite if we put it in the freezer. The strange thing is that I'm pretty sure we were following the recipe fairly closely.
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Old September 21 2009, 05:12 PM   #23
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
I once tried to make pudding from scratch. Epic fail.

For some reason - and to this day I have absolutely no idea how this happened - scrambled eggs appeared as if by magic. I took that as a sign that I should never attempt this again.

I would like to hear an explanation, though. From those of you who *can* cook. How the hell do scrambled eggs appear in the middle of a pudding mixture? This was a long time ago, but I do remember I put in the exact ingredients the recipe called for. How could I have fucked up that badly? What did I do wrong?
I know, I know! At least I have pretty good idea. Azlynn is right. What happened is that you didn't "temper" your eggs. Eggs cook really quickly, as you probably know, and so when you add them to a hot mix of some kind, such as a pudding mixture, you need to warm up the egg mixture a bit so that the eggs can be incorporated into the rest of the ingredients before they cook.

The way to do this is to:
1. Beat the eggs in a separate bowl and get them to the desired consistency.
2. With a spoon or with your whisk, take a small amount of the hot mixture that you're planning to add the eggs to, but instead add it to the egg mixture. Stir it in immediately and thoroughly.
3. Take a little more of the hot mixture, add it to the egg mixture, stir it in immediately and thoroughly.
4. Take a little bit more of the hot mixture, add it to the egg mixture, stir it in immediately and thoroughly.
5. Now that the eggs are warmed up a little bit, you can add them to the hot mixture, but you need to stir them in gradually, mixing constantly. Make sure you get them thoroughly incorporated.

Here's a nice little video from Better Homes & Gardens: http://www.bhg.com/videos/m/21882551/tempering-eggs.htm
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Old September 21 2009, 09:14 PM   #24
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Azlynn wrote: View Post
I'm assuming you were at the point of either just adding the eggs, or cooking the mixture on the stove?
yep.

When adding eggs to something warmer, the eggs need to be heated first by adding some of the warmer mixture to them.
So how do you prevent the eggs from scrambling when you do that?

JustKate: Many thanks, but I think I will stick with the pre-made mixes. Much less risk of burning my house down if I do that.

(This thing with the pudding from scratch - that happened in 1995, and I haven't attempted it since...)
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Old September 21 2009, 09:24 PM   #25
Holdfast
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
When adding eggs to something warmer, the eggs need to be heated first by adding some of the warmer mixture to them.
So how do you prevent the eggs from scrambling when you do that?
The small amount of hot you add to the cold dissipates quickly through it, so it doesn't curdle.

Don't you people ever watch a TV cookery programme?
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Old September 21 2009, 09:27 PM   #26
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Holdfast wrote: View Post
Don't you people ever watch a TV cookery programme?
You're talking to somebody who would quite happily eat baseball park hotdogs for the rest of Earthly existence.
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Old September 21 2009, 09:32 PM   #27
Holdfast
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post
Holdfast wrote: View Post
Don't you people ever watch a TV cookery programme?
You're talking to somebody who would quite happily eat baseball park hotdogs for the rest of Earthly existence.
Point taken. You wouldn't want to watch a TV programme showing you what they're made of.
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Old September 21 2009, 09:51 PM   #28
Mr. Laser Beam
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

I also love cheesesteaks.
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Old September 21 2009, 10:26 PM   #29
Timby
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

I discovered, the hard way, that even though they look similar to one another and no matter how much you wish it to be so after the fact, Liquid Smoke will never, ever be vanilla extract.

Those were some unfortunately flavored cookies that night.
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Old September 21 2009, 10:29 PM   #30
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Re: Cooking Abomination!! XD

The worst cooking mistake I ever made was when I tried to make cream of broccoli soup from scratch, shortly after I'd moved out of my parent's place for the first time. Since I didn't have a blender, I decided it would be a good idea to leave the soup on the "warm" setting of the stove overnight, sort of like a crock pot to soften it all up into mush. Bad. Idea. I woke up the next morning to find it had burned into a smokey black gel fused to the bottom of the pot. I spent three months soaking the pot in hot water to try to soften it up and scrape it out of there, and eventually just had to throw the cookware in the dumpster.
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