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Science Fiction & Fantasy Farscape, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Firefly, vampires, genre books and film.

View Poll Results: Grading
Excellent 12 13.19%
Above average 38 41.76%
Average 19 20.88%
Below average 11 12.09%
Poor 11 12.09%
Voters: 91. You may not vote on this poll

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Old August 8 2009, 10:13 PM   #91
Captain Craig
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

^^^^^^
I don't know that I'd argue the rushed bit but here is how I saw it not being contrived.

The mask represented a type of slavery, it was an instrument of submission and to be seen as an example. We saw this at the start of the movie. So at the end when CC turns McCulen's face into that mask its a way of enslaving him. Making him an example to the rest of what will become Cobra that he,CC, is not to be taken lightly.

Was that moment rushed, perhaps but I say not contrived. It served its on purpose within the internal logic of the film. Now had CC strapped him down and given some windy speech about loyalty yadda, yadda and then injected him we'd be talking about what a cliche mustache twirling moment it was. It had to be done one way or the other.
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Old August 8 2009, 11:07 PM   #92
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

No one else needed a steel face to be enslaved.

This only proved that, at the end of the day, Cobra Commander has a hila-arious sense of humour.

So much to hate, so few characters in the English alphabet.

I was waiting the whole movie for Scarlet to mention to Ripcord that she's into snakeeyes, and that he should back the hell off.

At least Rachel looks like she's eaten something since her days on Alias, I could never take some one that thin seriously as a thug.

Why was this flick called the Rise of Cobra?

It didn't rise.

It tripped over it's own feet straight out of the starting blocks into huge and embarrassing Hindenberigian clusterfuck.

This movie should have been called the Miss Start of Cobra, and the sequel should one day be called the Mulligan of Cobra.

The Baroness was always sexy because she was evil, not despite that she was evil.

What a perfectly god waste of evil.
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Old August 8 2009, 11:25 PM   #93
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra pulled in about $22,300,000 on its opening Friday -- pretty solid, if not quite explosive. It'll probably make between $65-75 million over the weekend, depending on how front-loaded it is.
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Old August 8 2009, 11:51 PM   #94
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

Watching this movie,i knew ive seen Channing Tatum before but couldnt place it till now.


STEP UP 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNI0S...eature=related


Now i want to take my rating back.
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Old August 9 2009, 01:28 AM   #95
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

My Grade: C+

Rated PG-13 for PG-13: strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.

================================================== ====

This was a movie I was convinced was going to be terrible. Posts and threads I've started since first seeing the trailers for this movie made it look like absolute shit on the likes of the "Street Fighter" series.

Well, I was wrong.

In the not to distant future there was some guys named Joe, not to different than you and me. They worked for a secret ultra-elite branch of international soldiers. They did a good job cleaning up the world, but their enemies didn't like them so they shot their supporters some deadly missiles that can dissolve entire cities. "I'll force them to play out cheesy action scenes, the most contrived we can put together. They'll be forced to fight us will I smile and grin from my secret underwater base." Now, you must keep in mind that the Joes can't control where their missions begin and end, as there's no apparent rigidity -or acknowledgment- of their existence. So much so that when they save a city they end up arrested and asked never to come back.

Joe Role-Call!

General Hawk: Played by Denis "I'm Awesome" Quaid. 'Nuff said.

Duke: Interesting enough character. Generic soldier.

Ripcord: More or less plays "Token" but interesting enough character.

Scarlet: Played by a red-haired Rachel Nichols. "Nuff said.

Snake Eyes: Probably the best character of the "Joes."

The Baroness: Leathery, evil chick.

Cobra Commander: Well pulled off.

Now you might be wondering how the Joes pull off their stunts. Well they have these suits in one scene that turn them into CGI Spider-men who can do whatever they want. But just repeat to yourself that it's just a show and that you just relax. For GI Joe.

(And yes, I did this strained joke from an opening title-card that sends us into the main bulk of the story as being "In the not too distant future...")

The aim of the movie is mostly action and group-dynamics on the levels of the first-two X-men movies and maybe a poor Bondian movie. The plot is thin where they pretty much have to get back a destructive weapon that can devour entire cities that the manufacturer of has stolen back from NATO in order to use it against major cities in order to generate more need for their weapons.

It's convoluted, yes. This movie has plot holes in it you can drive a tank through. Like that the NATO-like alliance so easily accepts and welcomes a weapon that can devour entire cities and can only be presumably stopped with the press of a button. Right. Considering how civilized nations right now feel about using nukes I doubt they accept so warmly a weapon like this. But whatever. It's inspired by a cartoon and action figures.

There's also an action scene earlier in the movie where the Cobra team breaks into the headquarters for the GI Joes built under an Egyptian desert. Instead of this secret compound being lined with some-kind-of near-indestructible metal it's simply lined by rock so the Cobras can just drill right into it. And when they do and start killing guards and firing off weapons no alarms go off and they manage to walk right into the commander's office. This is in a compound presumably staffed by the very best of the world's millitaries.

Right.

Thankfully the "Accelerator Suits" that are featured in the trailer only play a role in one action sequence but it still looks dumb, is too much of a gimmick and they (along with the "stunts" they allow our heroes to do) just look silly.

The movie is also intercut with some "flashbacks" between of events that occurred between Duke and The Baroness (apparently they were engaged years ago but failures on Duke's part caused them to drift apart) and some of the best flashbacks are Snake Eyes' and Storm Shadow's who're adoptive rival "brothers."

Duke's and The Baroness' flashbacks are tedious and boring, Snakes' and Storm's are pretty decent.

Overall the movie is decent Summer entertainment, the action scenes are pretty good, though the story is thin and the acting a performances forgettable. There's not much that's stunning about this movie, the CGI/effects look like they were done 10 years ago in a high-school computer-art class, but there's nothing terrible about it either.

It's decent escapist entertainment and it doesn't rape your skull with numbing action for an hour like some other Summer-action movies did.

I wouldn't rush out to see this, but I probably won't skip it either if you're even a mild fan of GI Joe or this kind of entertainment. Maybe worth a matinee viewing or at least a DVD rental.
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Old August 9 2009, 02:57 AM   #96
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

It was ok for what it was. Much better than both Transformers movies. The super suit scene was way better than it looked in the trailers.

That being said, Destro is a huge pussy, Snake Eyes has a pointless mouth, everyone is related, Baroness isn't evil and Cobra Commander has the LAMEST mask in history.
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Old August 9 2009, 03:31 AM   #97
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

I just got back from the movie theater. I must admit, it was better than I expected.

I don't think it should be compared to any of the X-Men films. If any thing, the film sort of parallels James Bond and Star Wars in a lot of ways--the good-versus-evil theme, the array of weapons and technology used in the battles.

The movie is fast-paced and action-packed with teeth-gritting, butt-tensing action sequences. Indeed it's one of the better summer action blockbusters.

Rating: B
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Old August 9 2009, 03:42 AM   #98
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

Guy Gardener wrote: View Post
No one else needed a steel face to be enslaved.
Wrong. All the shock troops had a steel-esque mask covering their whole head.
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Old August 9 2009, 04:17 AM   #99
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

I gave it an "Excellent", but I'm coming from a different POV than most. As a movie alone, I'd say "Above Average" as an action movie with cool effects and funny moments. Sienna and Rachel were hot, and yay for a cool chick fight. Sienna really hammed it up a lot, as did Eccleson and Gordon-Levitt did a great job considering all he had to emote with was one eye! I agree with the above that Snake Eyes owned virtually every scene he appeared in. Sadly, Channing Tatum had all the charisma of a block of wood. Thank goodness Marlon was able to resist going over the top with his humor.

What struck me as fantastic is how well this movie is made to sell action figures. It's totally the movie made for the kids that take action figures, make forts out of mounds of dirt in their backyards and flip over vehicles to show they blew up. It was a high budget version of action figure commercials from the 80's with a cartoon story to match. In that respect it was spectacular. When they first introduced the suits everyone complained so much about my gf and I were laughing so hard because the whole "product placement" was so blatant. We were just messing with that figure in TRU a half hour before we saw the flick so it really added to the effect.

The set up for the sequel was really nicely done. The next movie practically writes itself. I hope it does well.
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Old August 9 2009, 05:47 AM   #100
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

The studio knew the critics were going to hate it right off the bat. Which why they showed the first screenings to about 1000 actual GI's and their families. Which I guess was their way also of saving face after they took out The Real American Hero bit.

Apparently alot of the stuff in regards to The Baroness is from the comic book. In that she is completely brainwashed, CC's sister, and Duke's former love. So that really doesn't bother me. My only issue with the lovey dovey stuff was that Scarlet should have either been after Duke or with Snake Eyes. I realize why they didn't go that way. Snake Eyes would be hard to sell as a love interest and Ripcord needed something to do other then crack jokes.

The Baroness was always sexy because she was evil, not despite that she was evil.
Only recently. The show and comic writers finally figured out that nerdy dominatrixes are hot. In the old show she was shrill, obnoxious, and kind of a dork.
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Old August 9 2009, 06:03 AM   #101
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

This movie reminds me of the Street Fighter movie from the 90s (the one with Raul Julia and Van Damme), except done better. Lets be honest all the backstories and characters were contrived nonsense, but the action was immensely watchable, and I could actually follow most of what was going on in the set-pieces. Some of the cheesy backstories were entertaining to in a cracker-jack sort of way.

Entertaining fluff.
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Old August 9 2009, 06:47 AM   #102
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

I do have to wonder what they were thinking with the Norton product placement, considering it was hacked in seconds. Not the kind of message you want to send about your computer security system.
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Old August 9 2009, 06:54 AM   #103
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

Above average, but would be excellent if only they showed a bit restraint from the CGI stuff. However I enjoyed the hell out of this movie! Unlike the two T's that sucked like a fat pornstar on her first audition, this movie actually was fast paced and honest about what its intentions were! An action movie that brought to life the imaginations we had as children whilst playing with our action figures. Thoroughly enjoyed it!
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Old August 9 2009, 06:56 AM   #104
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

OdoWanKenobi wrote: View Post
I do have to wonder what they were thinking with the Norton product placement, considering it was hacked in seconds. Not the kind of message you want to send about your computer security system.
You are assuming that it was a product placement. I think they used a commonly known "name" in computer security in order to project just "how good" the hacker was...
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Old August 9 2009, 07:29 AM   #105
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

everybody bitching about Snake Eye's mouth should check the v2 figure. IT HAS A MOUTH MOULDED ON IT! they're obviously aping that (the most famous version) and the 18th figure which was the one with the Arishikage hexagram on the shoulder.
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