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Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

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Old July 10 2009, 05:19 PM   #136
Spot's Meow
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

I don't really think anything can be done about the "sexism" issue because such a large proportion of the population here is male. It gives things a certain atmosphere and until the population evens out (which isn't likely) between male and female, it will stay that way. I don't think there is outright hostility, there is just a lot of drooling and fawning over women (which in my opinion may be worse than outright hostility) and a lot of turning normal discussions into a bunch of sexual innuendos about banging women. It's very much a locker room discussion or boy's club type feel sometimes. But like I said I doubt it will change and I doubt anything can really be done about it, it's a reflection of who posts here. It makes me a little sad that I can't feel more "at home" here, but I've mostly stopped caring about this place so much anyway.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:20 PM   #137
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Hermiod wrote: View Post
I do take you all seriously whether you think so or not. Take a note out of RJ's book though, it's not necessary to post in a manner that you know is going to get someone angry in order to moderate.
Which is also a good approach to use even when you're not a moderator.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:26 PM   #138
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Hermiod is getting exactly what he wants from this thread - it is the same thing he wants from any thread, given the chance. It has to be about him, all the mods, and general posters must somehow be addressing him, or he is not happy. Every time you give him this attention, which he craves, it guarantees he will continue to act in exactly the same manner the next time, in order to get exactly the same results. It is a self-feeding cycle. Since he shows no sign of changing himself, this behaviour won't go away until the rest of us change.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:37 PM   #139
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

An Officer wrote: View Post
Hermiod is getting exactly what he wants from this thread - it is the same thing he wants from any thread, given the chance. It has to be about him, all the mods, and general posters must somehow be addressing him, or he is not happy. Every time you give him this attention, which he craves, it guarantees he will continue to act in exactly the same manner the next time, in order to get exactly the same results. It is a self-feeding cycle. Since he shows no sign of changing himself, this behaviour won't go away until the rest of us change.
I disagree, and think you're being unfair to him. It's not about craving attention. While I do think Hermiod has certain issues on this forum, I think those issues are best left to be discussed between himself and moderators. You're telling people he wants attention yet you singled him out here with no reason to. Leave it to the mods to deal with him, or find a different way to address this issue yourself. It's just going to derail the thread here if we keep discussing it. PM me if you want to talk, though.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:45 PM   #140
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Spot's Meow wrote: View Post
I don't really think anything can be done about the "sexism" issue because such a large proportion of the population here is male. It gives things a certain atmosphere and until the population evens out (which isn't likely) between male and female, it will stay that way.
You're right to an extent.

I don't think there is outright hostility,
I agree.

there is just a lot of drooling and fawning over women (which in my opinion may be worse than outright hostility)
Say what? You're trying to tell me that some poster saying he'd like to sleep with Jessica Biel is worse than someone telling you that you're a lesser person because you're a woman? That's ridiculous.

and a lot of turning normal discussions into a bunch of sexual innuendos about banging women.
I don't see that all that much.

It's very much a locker room discussion or boy's club type feel sometimes.
Having been in a boy's locker room I can tell you that it's really not.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:46 PM   #141
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

I cannot "deal" with him, I have no powers to... and you may be right. If you are, aren't you doing a bit of unofficial modding yourself? I am not the only non mod who has addressed Hermiod, I come after a long line, beginning with RoJoHen, followed by Pingfah, Camelopard, then Sidious618... I would tend to think you are guilty of "singling out" yourself.

Edit: Posted the above before I saw Kestra's own edit to take it to PM.
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Old July 10 2009, 05:59 PM   #142
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

sidious618 wrote: View Post
Say what? You're trying to tell me that some poster saying he'd like to sleep with Jessica Biel is worse than someone telling you that you're a lesser person because you're a woman? That's ridiculous.
What I mean is that at least if you (the general you) are being outright hostile about it, you are being honest about it. Honest that you're a sexist jerk, but still honest. All of the obsessing over women here can sometimes come off as an attitude of just seeing women as sexual objects, which gets pretty insulting after a while. But you can't call any specific person on it because they were just joking or they didn't mean any harm by it. Yet it fosters an atmosphere of seeing women in a certain light that is hurtful. So in that sense it is worse to me, because not only do you feel objectified but no one's even being honest about it and you can't really bring it up because they will just say you are being too sensitive about it.
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Old July 10 2009, 06:02 PM   #143
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Spot's Meow wrote: View Post
What I mean is that at least if you (the general you) are being outright hostile about it, you are being honest about it. Honest that you're a sexist jerk, but still honest. All of the obsessing over women here can sometimes come off as an attitude of just seeing women as sexual objects, which gets pretty insulting after a while. But you can't call any specific person on it because they were just joking or they didn't mean any harm by it. Yet it fosters an atmosphere of seeing women in a certain light that is hurtful. So in that sense it is worse to me, because not only do you feel objectified but no one's even being honest about it and you can't really bring it up because they will just say you are being too sensitive about it.
I'm sorry to inform you of this but no matter your gender and no matter your age you see attractive people in a sexual light. It's a fact (unless you're asexual). So, no, if someone comments on Jessica Biel or George Clooney they are not being a sexist jerk. That's a ridiculous, and yes overly sensitive, way of looking at things. It's complaints like this that cause the real ones to be brushed away because wolf has been cried too many times.
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Old July 10 2009, 06:20 PM   #144
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

sidious618 wrote: View Post
Spot's Meow wrote: View Post
What I mean is that at least if you (the general you) are being outright hostile about it, you are being honest about it. Honest that you're a sexist jerk, but still honest. All of the obsessing over women here can sometimes come off as an attitude of just seeing women as sexual objects, which gets pretty insulting after a while. But you can't call any specific person on it because they were just joking or they didn't mean any harm by it. Yet it fosters an atmosphere of seeing women in a certain light that is hurtful. So in that sense it is worse to me, because not only do you feel objectified but no one's even being honest about it and you can't really bring it up because they will just say you are being too sensitive about it.
I'm sorry to inform you of this but no matter your gender and no matter your age you see attractive people in a sexual light. It's a fact (unless you're asexual). So, no, if someone comments on Jessica Biel or George Clooney they are not being a sexist jerk. That's a ridiculous, and yes overly sensitive, way of looking at things. It's complaints like this that cause the real ones to be brushed away because wolf has been cried too many times.
Especially when we're talking about film stars (or I'm shit out of luck and about to get banned for my posts in the Karl Urban thread in Trek XI - much as I love him for his mind...)

I'd say a tighter line needs to be drawn when refering to other posters. And that goes for men -> women, women -> men, men -> men, women -> women. Because I've got to tell you all, for all that a lot of people are saying there's too much men -> women sexism, this has got to be the most "equal" board I've ever been on for the range of sexual comments that are made.


Here's a thought (and yes, I know I said I'd shut up last time I meandered on, will do this time, promise )

Start a new pictures thread. Open it with the rules that there are to be no overtly sexual comments. See how that goes for helping create a new atmosphere here.
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Old July 10 2009, 06:22 PM   #145
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Neroon wrote: View Post
Hermiod wrote: View Post
I do take you all seriously whether you think so or not. Take a note out of RJ's book though, it's not necessary to post in a manner that you know is going to get someone angry in order to moderate.
Which is also a good approach to use even when you're not a moderator.
Yet my WWRJD T-shirts remain unsold. Where's the justice ?
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Old July 10 2009, 06:27 PM   #146
Locutus of Bored
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

trampledamage wrote: View Post
Start a new pictures thread. Open it with the rules that there are to be no overtly sexual comments. See how that goes for helping create a new atmosphere here.
I think that's a good suggestion. I would also suggest when we start the thread perhaps putting the "no sexual comments" or "read OP before responding" in the title so people who come in to the thread when it's been going a long time know what the rules are.
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Old July 10 2009, 06:29 PM   #147
T'Bonz
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Misfit Toy wrote: View Post
I miss this rule:

The best general guideline can be summed up in one phrase: use common sense when you post.
No shit.
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Old July 10 2009, 06:56 PM   #148
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Alidar Jarok wrote: View Post
And your fun with selective quoting post is kinda just spamming. It doesn't address the topic at all.
Bloody hell it doesn't. I pointed out how taking a snippet of anything and making it stand alone can totally change the meaning.
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Old July 10 2009, 07:37 PM   #149
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

T'Bonz wrote: View Post
Misfit Toy wrote: View Post
I miss this rule:

The best general guideline can be summed up in one phrase: use common sense when you post.
No shit.
So you're just not going to address what I said about my quote?
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Old July 10 2009, 08:29 PM   #150
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Re: Misc - Several issues - Misc Posters Read!

Probably not 'til Sunday. I'm out-of-town and supposed to be on vacation!
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