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Old April 7 2009, 06:08 PM   #106
Praetor
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Well, I'm not really debating that the Excelsior is still out there doing its thing (and thanks for that list, btw, I'd forgotten it.) I just think that the bigger boys get the more fun missions, and probably like you say, the better press. And like you say, space is big.

Anywho, next chapter. Some of your concerns may be eased.

Chapter Nine - End of the Line

By 2347, the conflict with the Cardassians seemed to be coming to a breaking point. Cardassia had come to suspect the Federation's colonization efforts along their borders. While the Federation's motives were largely peaceful, the Cardassians believed that the colonies were attempting to secure the Cardassians' planetary claims for the Federation. Bad intelligence on the Cardassians' part indicated that a secret base had been established by Starfleet on Setlik III for the purpose of a strike deep into Cardassian territory. However, no such base existed. Nonetheless, the Cardassians dispatched a strike force to the planet to destroy the base. In the initial assault, over 100 civilians were killed. The colony's distress calls were soon received by Starfleet ships in the area, and the U.S.S. Rutledge was first on the scene. Her away teams were instrumental in saving the lives of the remaining Setlik colonists, and with the arrival of another half-dozen Starfleet ships soon after, the Cardassians were driven off.

The events of the following weeks were the first of what historians commonly refer to as the Federation-Cardassian Border Wars. The Border Wars were not one prolonged campaign, but instead a series of isolated battles and skirmishes fought between 2347 and 2370. While there were, during some parts of the Border Wars, open declarations of war by the Cardassians, they never descended into full-scale war. Nonetheless, both Starfleet and the Cardassian Central Command feared that this would be the result, and spread across the entire quadrant. Due to this, and combined with mixed feelings about producing more Ambassador class ships, between 2345 and 2350 Starfleet began fast-paced continual production on Excelsior-class ships that lasted for five full years before ending, ultimately replacing every heavy cruiser it had previously decommissioned as part of the Klingon concessions. After running out the cycle to construct sufficient parts spares to repair the members of the class, Starfleet discontinued further production on the class as scheduled. As a result, many Excelsior-class ships that remained in service into the second half of the 24th century had registry numbers in the NCC-40000 range. The full-scale war predicted by Starfleet would ultimately not occur until the Dominion War of the 2370s.

In 2357, another milestone in Starfleet shipbuilding was achieved: the launch of the U.S.S. Galaxy. Though the Ambassador class had only augmented the Excelsior class and her contemporaries, the Galaxy class was expressly meant to supplant most of their primary exploratory roles. Galaxy class ships were the largest, most ambitious ships ever launched. The longevity of the Excelsior class inspired Starfleet engineers to design the Galaxy class with a 100 year service career in mind. Their amenities were impressive by any standard, and they possessed the longest range and most varied capabilities of any Starfleet ship ever launched. With the launch of these and other new ships over the next decade, Excelsior class ships would begin to take a backseat in some key mission roles. A few remained deployed on long range exploratory missions, such as the illustrious U.S.S. Repulse, one of the first Excelsiors commissioned in the 2290s. Most of the others would be assigned exploratory, research, and patrol duties inside the boundaries of Federation space.

Still, the last Excelsior class ship had not been launched. In 2357, even as Galaxy left drydock, design work began on a refit for the Excelsior class designed to prolong their service lifetime. A combination of new components and older components kept in fleet yards for repairs on Excelsior class ships were used to build and launch the U.S.S. Melbourne. The ship had originally been ordered as a Nebula-class ship, but the registry was re-purposed for naming of the Excelsior prototype. The Melbourne would become the pattern for all refits on the Excelsior class through the 2360s, but herself would be lost at the Battle of Wolf 359 to the Borg in 2367. Also in 2357, the Excelsior underwent a refit to Melbourne specifications and, due to her age and historic status, would no longer be assigned long range missions outside the safety of the Federation sphere.

First contact with the Borg by the U.S.S. Enterprise, NCC-1701-D, in 2366 was another event that would radically change the climate of Starfleet shipbuilding. When the Enterprise was flung into the path of a Borg cube by the being known as Q, Starfleet discovered that it was completely unprepared for a threat that, before that encounter, it didn't even know existed. The Borg were completely incompatible with the Federation mindset; they are a foe that was for all intents and purposes a force of nature with which there could be no hope of negotiation or coexistence, only survival. Although Starfleet began a program to prepare the fleet to defeat the Borg threat, including the development of several starship classes specifically for that task, Starfleet was unprepared when the Borg did attack in 2367. Starfleet's loss of a task force of ships (including four older Excelsiors, plus the state of the art Melbourne) at the Battle of Wolf 359 that year later drove home the point. Indeed, the Borg were only defeated by a series of fortunate coincidences. The Galaxy class had finally proven that building dual-purpose, equally capable exploratory/warships was the most efficient method, and Starfleet began an urgent program to upgrade the tactical abilities of the entire fleet. Among the goals of this program was a directive to investigate the upgradeability of the tactical systems of existing ships, as well as the development of new more combat-oriented starships. As refits were completed on the members of the aging Excelsior class, Starfleet began investigating options for upgrading their tactical abilities.

Discovery of the Bajoran wormhole to the Gamma Qudrant and subsequent contact with the Dominion renewed Starfleet's urgent need for tactical upgrades to the fleet. In 2371, the U.S.S. Lakota, NCC-42769, put into drydock to be upgraded with experimental tactical systems developed originally to combat the Borg threat, including quantum torpedoes and ablative hull armor. Lakota was one of the ships originally produced during the 2345-2350 continual production of the Excelsior class, and was of the same variant type as the Enterprise-B. When the refit was complete one year later, Lakota was misused in an attempted Starfleet coup to try to intercept the U.S.S. Defiant before she could reach Earth. The ensuing battle was illustrative of the success of Lakota's refit. While the ship performed admirably against the Defiant (a ship built almost exclusively for combat), she ultimately lost. In the aftermath, Starfleet decided it was simpler to only give Excelsior class ships minimal upgrades while producing newer, more well-armed ships such as those of the Defiant class. Still, Excelsior class ships would be instrumental in the coming war with the Dominion.

Not long after, a 133 year old Hikaru Sulu died in his residence in San Francisco on Earth of complications resulting from a recent illness. In his honor, the Excelsior was pulled from deep space service and reassigned to the contingent of ships permanently stationed in the Sol System to guard Earth. Sulu was given a full state funeral with honors, and the Federation observed a day of mourning for his death. It is ironic that the death of Sulu would ensure the life of Excelsior; prior to Sulu's death the ship remained stationed along Cardassian space, and would likely have fallen victim to one of the early aggressive Dominion offensives after the onset of the Dominion War in late 2373.
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Last edited by Praetor; April 7 2009 at 07:50 PM.
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Old April 7 2009, 07:40 PM   #107
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Chief O'Brien called them the Border Wars, did he not? It's not a huge point, but perhaps it sounds less grandiose than "Federation-Cardassian Wars", reflecting that it was a series of skirmishes rather than a full-blown total war.

Good way of explaining the higher numbered Excelsiors though, and a nice way to end on Sulu. But I've got to say, these TOS characters were practically indestructible! Spock, Bones and Scotty are known to be at large in the 24th century, and if you go by the "non-canon" materials, Uhura's the chief of Starfleet intelligence, and Jim Kirk himself is kicking ass like a 25 year old.

Hopefully Chekov died of a heart attack aged 59 to balance things out!
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Old April 7 2009, 07:49 PM   #108
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Tomalak wrote: View Post
Chief O'Brien called them the Border Wars, did he not? It's not a huge point, but perhaps it sounds less grandiose than "Federation-Cardassian Wars", reflecting that it was a series of skirmishes rather than a full-blown total war.
Indeed, perhaps I will make some refinements in my nomenclature to include 'Border Wars.'

Good way of explaining the higher numbered Excelsiors though, and a nice way to end on Sulu. But I've got to say, these TOS characters were practically indestructible! Spock, Bones and Scotty are known to be at large in the 24th century, and if you go by the "non-canon" materials, Uhura's the chief of Starfleet intelligence, and Jim Kirk himself is kicking ass like a 25 year old.

Hopefully Chekov died of a heart attack aged 59 to balance things out!
Yeah, that always bothered me a bit. Spock being long-lived is a given. It always made sense that Bones lived so long, in an ironic way. Scotty was a fluke of the transporter. The rest I've always been somewhat 'meh' towards, which is why I've taken great pains not to mention anything that I feel 'meh' towards in one context or another, so those who like that idea can still have them, without it affecting my narrative.

I always imagined Chekov going down with his ship in his sixties or so, in a blaze of glory for a noble cause. It seemed right for him somehow. It would also explain the U.S.S. Chekov from 'Best of Both Worlds'...
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Old April 7 2009, 08:04 PM   #109
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

I'd forgotten about that ship. Wasn't it supposed to be USS Chekhov, as in Anton, but whoever built the model left off the 'h'?

Yeah, he died in a blaze of glory on the USS Mother Russia, saving the New Moscow colony from a Romulan sneak attack.
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Old April 7 2009, 08:37 PM   #110
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Which of course outraged him, because everybody knows the sneak attack was a Russian invention .

Praetor, I just wanted to let you know that I sat down to read all of this the other day and I've enjoyed it immensely. You've done a very good job of portraying everything in a very believable manner and, at the same time, you've explained a lot of the quirks of Starfleet's development over the years. I look forward to more.

By the way, while I was reading through these I did find something that I questioned somewhat. In chapter six you describe the results of Excelsior's shakedown and list a number of problems, only to then say that Starfleet was extremely pleased with the results. I don't think there's anything wrong whatsoever with what you said about Excelsior, I just feel like perhaps a sentence or two could be spent on the positive aspects in order to downplay the negative. As of right now it seems a bit jarring. Here's the specific section:

All of Excelsior’s systems performed to full Level Four Review satisfaction this time, surprising and relieving both Starfleet Command and the staff at San Francisco Yards. However, Excelsior became notorious for several unforeseen quirks that would become characteristic of this next phase of her life. First, she retained the awkward sublight maneuverability even at full impulse which had plagued her earlier trials. Her test captain commented that Excelsior “showed her size.” Additionally, at warp she seemed to be too powerful for her own good, continuing to threaten to tear herself apart under full power of her engines at speeds of warp nine (MCU) and above, developing a serious vibration problem evocative of those experienced by the old Constitution class. Nonetheless, Starfleet authorized the Excelsior for active duty as NCC-2000. Starfleet was so pleased with Excelsior’s shakedown results that it resumed construction on the two new Excelsiors that were already underway, and ordered the next three to follow contingent on the first three's performance. The Transwarp Development Project had proven a failure, yes, but the Excelsior Class Project was now a monumental success whose historic legacy was just beginning. She was ready for her first mission. Now all she needed was a crew.
Sorry to bring up something from a few chapters back, I certainly hope it doesn't conflict with the present development! I just felt like I should bring up my concern while I had the chance.
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Old April 7 2009, 10:05 PM   #111
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Tomalak wrote: View Post
I'd forgotten about that ship. Wasn't it supposed to be USS Chekhov, as in Anton, but whoever built the model left off the 'h'?
That's what I understand to be the case.

Yeah, he died in a blaze of glory on the USS Mother Russia, saving the New Moscow colony from a Romulan sneak attack.
Something like that...

The_Beef wrote: View Post
Which of course outraged him, because everybody knows the sneak attack was a Russian invention .
Bingo!

Praetor, I just wanted to let you know that I sat down to read all of this the other day and I've enjoyed it immensely. You've done a very good job of portraying everything in a very believable manner and, at the same time, you've explained a lot of the quirks of Starfleet's development over the years. I look forward to more.
Many thanks! I'm achieving my double-sided goal then.

By the way, while I was reading through these I did find something that I questioned somewhat. In chapter six you describe the results of Excelsior's shakedown and list a number of problems, only to then say that Starfleet was extremely pleased with the results. I don't think there's anything wrong whatsoever with what you said about Excelsior, I just feel like perhaps a sentence or two could be spent on the positive aspects in order to downplay the negative. As of right now it seems a bit jarring. Here's the specific section:

All of Excelsior’s systems performed to full Level Four Review satisfaction this time, surprising and relieving both Starfleet Command and the staff at San Francisco Yards. However, Excelsior became notorious for several unforeseen quirks that would become characteristic of this next phase of her life. First, she retained the awkward sublight maneuverability even at full impulse which had plagued her earlier trials. Her test captain commented that Excelsior “showed her size.” Additionally, at warp she seemed to be too powerful for her own good, continuing to threaten to tear herself apart under full power of her engines at speeds of warp nine (MCU) and above, developing a serious vibration problem evocative of those experienced by the old Constitution class. Nonetheless, Starfleet authorized the Excelsior for active duty as NCC-2000. Starfleet was so pleased with Excelsior’s shakedown results that it resumed construction on the two new Excelsiors that were already underway, and ordered the next three to follow contingent on the first three's performance. The Transwarp Development Project had proven a failure, yes, but the Excelsior Class Project was now a monumental success whose historic legacy was just beginning. She was ready for her first mission. Now all she needed was a crew.
Sorry to bring up something from a few chapters back, I certainly hope it doesn't conflict with the present development! I just felt like I should bring up my concern while I had the chance.
No, I do appreciate you bringing this up. When I read it by itself, it does sound rather negative.

Try this:
In early January 2289, Excelsior was again launched from Dry Dock Seven, this time under power of standard warp propulsion and with far greater caution and apprehension. Under the guidance of her new flight test crew, Excelsior began the second systems review and shakedown of her lifetime. All of Excelsior’s systems performed to full Level Four Review satisfaction this time, surprising and relieving both Starfleet Command and the staff at San Francisco Yards. Her engine power impressed everyone involved, as did the remainder of her scientific and tactical systems in various extensive trials. Her facilities were spacious, state-of-the-art, and well-equipped. However, Excelsior became notorious for several unforeseen quirks that would become characteristic of this next phase of her life. First, she retained the awkward sublight maneuverability even at full impulse which had plagued her earlier trials. Her test captain commented that Excelsior “showed her size.” Additionally, at warp she seemed to be too powerful for her own good, continuing to threaten to tear herself apart under full power of her engines at speeds of warp nine (MCU) and above, developing a vibration problem evocative of those experienced by the old Constitution class. Despite these relatively minor quirks, Starfleet authorized the Excelsior for active duty as NCC-2000. Starfleet was so pleased with Excelsior’s shakedown results that it resumed construction on the two new Excelsiors that were already underway, and ordered the next three to follow contingent on the first three's performance. The Transwarp Development Project had proven a failure, yes, but the Excelsior Class Project was now a monumental success whose historic legacy was just beginning. She was ready for her first mission. Now all she needed was a crew.
A few minor changes which should downplay the quirks while hopefully affirming her good qualities.
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Last edited by Praetor; April 7 2009 at 11:37 PM.
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Old April 7 2009, 11:11 PM   #112
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

I think the additions work well. There were a couple of editing issues, though:

Her engine power impressived everyone involved, as did the remained of her scientific and tactical systems
"Impressived" should of course be "impressed". As for the second half and the instance with "remained", it looks like just an editing issue, I'm not quite sure what you wanted to do with it.

By the way, reading that segment again made me a bit curious as to whether or not there's ever a resolution to the ship's warp turbulence. I don't believe you explicitly mentioned a fix for that, it might be a nice touch to continue in the vein of the ships receiving upgrades to remain the backbone of the fleet. On the same topic, I looked back at the section about the Enterprise-B and it occurred to me that a mention of the extra impulse engines might be worthwhile, I noticed you had mentioned impulse performance issues earlier but only vaguely mentioned the Enterprise-B variant's upgrades, so it might help to flesh things out a bit.

By the by, any idea in your mind why the impulse upgrades wouldn't have become standard, if not the other attributes of the variant? I'm thinking something along the lines of either the added bulk throwing off the vessel's performance, the need to cut down on the space used by the engines, or maybe just an improvement in impulse technology that made them unnecessary.
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Old April 7 2009, 11:42 PM   #113
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

The_Beef wrote: View Post
I think the additions work well. There were a couple of editing issues, though:

Her engine power impressived everyone involved, as did the remained of her scientific and tactical systems
"Impressived" should of course be "impressed". As for the second half and the instance with "remained", it looks like just an editing issue, I'm not quite sure what you wanted to do with it.
Yeah... I was just typing too fast. Thanks.

By the way, reading that segment again made me a bit curious as to whether or not there's ever a resolution to the ship's warp turbulence. I don't believe you explicitly mentioned a fix for that, it might be a nice touch to continue in the vein of the ships receiving upgrades to remain the backbone of the fleet.
No, I didn't. I had actually never decided whether it was something that should ever be resolved, but I might go back and add it into the section about the Melbourne upgrade.

On the same topic, I looked back at the section about the Enterprise-B and it occurred to me that a mention of the extra impulse engines might be worthwhile, I noticed you had mentioned impulse performance issues earlier but only vaguely mentioned the Enterprise-B variant's upgrades, so it might help to flesh things out a bit.

By the by, any idea in your mind why the impulse upgrades wouldn't have become standard, if not the other attributes of the variant? I'm thinking something along the lines of either the added bulk throwing off the vessel's performance, the need to cut down on the space used by the engines, or maybe just an improvement in impulse technology that made them unnecessary.
Well, there are actually appendices in the technical section which we haven't got to yet that goes into all the various variants. The B's mods might bear a slight greater fleshing out than they did in the text.

To satisfy your curiosity, here's that Appendix now:
Enterprise-B Deep Space Variant (2294)

The decision to make the Enterprise-B an Excelsior class ship was, at the time, widely considered controversial. Many traditionalists felt it the class had yet to prove itself, and pointed to what they considered serious flaws in the design. A major lobby called for the ship to be of the Constellation class, which they felt was more in keeping with the tradition of the previous ship. Starfleet compromised, by keeping the new Enterprise an Excelsior class ship but making design modifications to the ship though it was already under constructions.

The design of the warp nacelles was modified, adding a new ramscoop assembly. A major criticism of the Excelsior design was that it maneuvered poorly at sublight, and two additional impulse engines were added on either side of the main impulse deck. These twin engines tested forerunners of the modern impulse driver coil, which has come to be a standard part of modern impulse engines. (Modern refits to older Excelsior class ships incorporate driver coils in their regular-sized impulse engines.) Scientific systems were also greatly improved and refined. The design of the main deflector was modified, and twin hull protrusions were added to either side of the secondary hull, containing additional science labs and sensor systems. Included among these systems were special sensors designed exclusively to detect cloaked ships, a decision the engineers felt was vindicated by the discovery of a Klingon bird-of-prey that could fire while cloaked just prior to the ship’s launch. Rumors abounded at the time of her launch that the Enterprise-B was also equipped with a fully capable prototype Federation cloaking device, retro-engineered from the Klingon bird of prey captured by Admiral James T. Kirk in 2285. Relevant documents remain classified to this day, so the cloaking device rumors remain only unsubstantiated rumors, which many historians consider dubious at best. Overall dimensions of the Enterprise-B were slightly increased by the addition of fins to the warp nacelles, and were as follows: Length, 469.05 meters; Beam, 177.21 meters; Height, 75.93 meters.

As a result of these modifications, the Enterprise-B was externally an entirely different ship from the Excelsior, but in truth remained in essence the same ship. The modifications to the design were, while not unsuccessful, not particularly beneficial either. The Enterprise-B served a long, successful service career, and nearly a dozen more ships of the variant type were produced, but the results of the design were inconclusive, and ultimately rather unnecessary.
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Old April 8 2009, 12:10 AM   #114
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Interestingly enough, FASA made reference to an Enterprise-C being an Alaska class battleship which disappeared with no trace. I kind of liked the idea that perhaps the name was hastily transferred to the Ambassador class instead (the USS Alaska would fit in with this) since they didn't know what had happened to the ship, and believed it would reflect badly for the new Enterprise to be lost so soon after commissioning.
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Old April 8 2009, 12:31 AM   #115
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

I believe my original source for mentioning the Alaska was reading that the Probert version of the Enterprise-C (from the sculpture and the concept paintings) was originally speculated to be that class. That does tie in nicely with that.
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Old April 8 2009, 01:20 AM   #116
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

That could be. I'm not sure if FASA drew the name from that idea, as they did include an entirely different Ambassador class based on the dialogue from "Conspiracy." For the RPG's faults, I have to give them credit for at least trying to make some things consistent with early TNG.
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Old April 8 2009, 02:02 AM   #117
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor, why don't you tie the Ent-B variant and the warp turbulence issue together? maybe the design changes on the B were an attempt to resolve the issue that ultimately either did not work or only partially worked making it not cost effective.

Chapter 9, paragraph 5,
"for a threat that, before that encounter"
Would read better if the second "that" was replaced with "this"

Chapter 9, paragraph 2,
"sufficient parts spares"
change to
"sufficient spare parts"
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Old April 8 2009, 07:19 AM   #118
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Wasn't it supposed to be USS Chekhov, as in Anton, but whoever built the model left off the 'h'?
Never heard that version...

Anyway, Pavel Chekov was obviously supposed to have the same surname as the famous author. The funny American spelling and pronunciation were just the best these 1960s writers could do. Perhaps "Chekov" is the correct 23rd and 24th century translitteration? Today, "Chekhov" is favored in some circles, but for example "Tsehoff" and "Tjejov" are equally valid - it depends on the linguistic context.

If one doesn't count this unseen Springfield class vessel, we've never seen a starship that was identifiably named after a Starfleet hero. Many have been named after military heroes of the distant past, but for some reason Starfleet personnel don't cut it. That is, unless there was a Starfleet Admiral Malinche, a Starfleet Dilithium Cross recipient named Vico, a famous starship commander named Agamemnon, and so forth.

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Old April 8 2009, 10:04 AM   #119
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor wrote: View Post
Talks between the Federation and the Klingons
For parallel construction, and to sound more formal, use Klingon Empire here (for the first mention of Klingons).

Praetor wrote: View Post
It was a time of increasing peace and prosperity for the universe
universegalaxy. For all we know, the other 100 billion galaxies could be in depressions...

Praetor wrote: View Post
The Admiralty finally agreed to decommission the Constitution class to replace them
Class is singular, them is plural.

The Admiralty finally agreed to decommission the remaining Constitution class ships and replace them with Excelsior class ships.

Praetor wrote: View Post
As part of compliance to the Klingons' stipulations,
Pursuant to the Klingons' stipulations,

Praetor wrote: View Post
over seventy percent of these ships
Generally speaking, don't spell numbers greater than ten except to maintain parallel construction, or for legal clarification. Use 70% instead.

Praetor wrote: View Post
By 1 January, 2300, there were fourteen
ditto

Praetor wrote: View Post
with fifty more under contract
ditto

Praetor wrote: View Post
Medusa-class experimental deep space cruisers
Medusa-class sounds appropriate for some members of the DS9 Frankenfleet...

Praetor wrote: View Post
backburnered by Starfleet
"back-burnered"

Praetor wrote: View Post
, given the ship's massive concept
massive concept → broad scope

Praetor wrote: View Post
and seemingly unachievable technology specifications, particularly in the wake of the Excelsior class's near-failure, but in the era of peace that came about in the early twenty-fourth century, the concept was given more consideration.
run-on alert! Lots of commas there.

Praetor wrote: View Post
A number of Starfleet officials were concerned by Starfleet's new 'supership' idea
Starfleet's the fleet's (to avoid using Starfleet twice in the same sentence)

Praetor wrote: View Post
the Great Experiment would thus become the fleet's tried and true ship of the line.
tried-and-true

Praetor wrote: View Post
The Excelsior had become a staple of the Federation fleet, dubbed "Old Reliable" by the officers who served on her.
Incorrect use of the term staple. Staple refers to essential commodities.
How about, ship of distinction? Source of pride? De facto flagship?

Praetor wrote: View Post
In reality, it was a measure of the skill of her crew and her commander.
commander → captain or commanding officer

Praetor wrote: View Post
The Excelsior class stayed ahead of modern technology, thanks to the modularity and adaptability of their design.
class is singular, their is plural


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Starfleet was developing weapons for use against them and began
Insert a comma after them

Praetor wrote: View Post
a new treaty between the Romulans and Federation
For parallel construction, use Romulan Empire here

Praetor wrote: View Post
last for over fifty years.
50

Praetor wrote: View Post
her space worthiness testing
space-worthiness

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and was one of the first Starfleet ship classes to allow families aboard
The class doesn't allow families, that's a policy thing.

Suggest: and was among the first Starfleet ship classes designed to accommodate families


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Sulu reluctanctly accepted promotion
Sulu He (to avoid repetition)

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Ultimately, Sulu would retire from the Admiralty in 2326 and run for Federation President
would retire → retired
run → ran or campaigned to become


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A military buildup was present on both sides
was present developed

Praetor wrote: View Post
For its part, Starfleet paced up its production
paced up ramped up

Praetor wrote: View Post
U.S.S. Alaska was redesignated
or recommissioned as

Praetor wrote: View Post
Klingon colony of Narendra III
of on

Praetor wrote: View Post
new era of communication between the Federation and Klingons
Klingon Empire for parallel construction

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previously established uneasy peace
previously-established, uneasy peace

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into real friendship
real genuine

Praetor wrote: View Post
and could have led to a period of renewed hostilies and even eventual war.
and could and this could

Praetor wrote: View Post
No matter the historical signifcane
signifcane significance

Praetor wrote: View Post
By that time, Starfleet had already begun initial design work on the Galaxy class, a bigger and better
I prefer to avoid using the word bigger in formal writing. I suggest larger instead. But if you decide to keep bigger, please add hyphens: bigger-and-better.

Praetor wrote: View Post
Starfleet had already realized, however, that while they
Starfleet is singular, they is plural.

Praetor wrote: View Post
battleships that a multi-role
battleships, a multi-role
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Old April 8 2009, 01:42 PM   #120
Tomalak
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Timo wrote: View Post
If one doesn't count this unseen Springfield class vessel, we've never seen a starship that was identifiably named after a Starfleet hero. Many have been named after military heroes of the distant past, but for some reason Starfleet personnel don't cut it. That is, unless there was a Starfleet Admiral Malinche, a Starfleet Dilithium Cross recipient named Vico, a famous starship commander named Agamemnon, and so forth.

Timo Saloniemi
There was USS Archer, which is unlikely to refer to Jeffrey.
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