Top IRC posts

[Rincewiend]

<richcollins> christ how long does a reboot take
<w3wsrmn> took him 3 days

Josh: QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....
SecureXeC: IT'S TO THE LEFT OF YOUR 'A' KEY.

[The_Reaper]

<|fS|Solaris> oh man...i gotta get some viagra darts
<|fS|Solaris> going around shooting people with viagra
<|fS|Solaris> don't like a teacher?
<|fS|Solaris> see how everyone else likes him when he's got wood
<|fS|Solaris> is there a woman that you think is a man?
<|fS|Solaris> you can find out!

DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass

<@Campbell> I saw the best thing today... I was around at a mates place and these Jehovah's Witnesses came around preaching their shit
<@Campbell> So my mate invites them in and sits down and offers them pizza and cookies.
<@Campbell> After about 15 minutes they left very happy.
<@Campbell> We spotted them about an hour later lying in a park staring at the sky
<@Campbell> I guess those hash cookies and that magic mushie pizza really did its job.
<@Campbell> Who said drugs were bad?!

[ Smitten ] My computer just asked me if i wanted to install 'Icons for blind users'....
[ Smitten ] HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?!!?!?!?!

[Misfit Toy]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

Old school - love it!

[The_Reaper]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

<kaber> My buddy just got a divorce. they had 4 kids. she met some new guy and she thinks she'll have it better with him
<kaber> so the women leave thinking it's greener on the other side and what not.. and they usually end up getting shafted even more
<tomalak> kaber: I think that's the point.

<@blackbart> lol this guy was showing me his new phone at work the other day
<@blackbart> so while i was looking at it i changed his contact entry for his dad to my number
<@blackbart> just got a call from him and answered with "hello son, i dont love you and your adopted"
<@blackbart> cant stop laughing

<imp0rt> guys i got some new spanish neighbours anyone know some spanish?
<niiiiike> im fluent
<imp0rt> K can you help me say
<imp0rt> I would like to welcome you to our neighbourhood
<imp0rt> sounds cheesy i know but they got some hot daughter :P
<niiiiike> erm..
<niiiiike> Me gustaria chupar los senos de su hija
<imp0rt> You sreious?
<niiiiike> Yeh, got it off translater tho XD
<imp0rt> K ty
<imp0rt> brb daughter flirting time
*** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: getting spanish pussy)
<|t34b4gg1n|> That isn't right is it?
<niiiiike> Course not XD it means i wanna suck on you daughters tits ahahahha
<|t34b4gg1n|> You, sir are evil XD
about 10 minutes later
*** Imp0rt has joined #Rand
<imp0rt> Fuck you nike fuckin tellin me bullshit
<niiiiike> WHAT?!?! Man you must have pronouned something wrong
<niiiiike> cos like
<niiiiike> if you say "sen" "os" it means somethin like rubbish
<niiiiike> so you would've insulted their house
<niiiiike> its pronouned
<niiiiike> "sien" "yos"
<imp0rt> oh, i didn't know :\
<imp0rt> ima go tell em again, hopefully they'll understand
*** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: 2nd time)
<|t34b4gg1n|> i almosts feel sorry for him
<niiiiike> not me.

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 Chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

<trunck> how long does school have a vacation?
<Nec> till monday, i think
<<Nec> next week, that is.
<trunck> whoa
<trunck> really long
<trunck> fucking school kids
<Nec> is illegal.

<Justin|> tool: hey, you wanna hear a really horrible love story?
<Nemephosis> you broke your hand?

That last one is one hell of a put down

[cardinal biggles]

My favorite so far:

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

[Mallory]

If I don't stop this I'm never going to get any work done today.

[The_Reaper]

I have wasted more than half my day reading this stuff

[Rincewiend]

It's funny when the others aren't helping...

<Jace> god this computer is running like a dog
<h0ax> Jace unless it is a lame dog or missing several limbs, dogs usually run pretty fast
<h0ax> I wouldnt want to race one
<Jace> god this computer is running like an elepant
<Jace> hope they run slow
<h0ax> memory is working well then?
<mole-inc> elephants are pretty fast
<ReKTeK> they can run faster than humans :P
<h0ax> why dont you say a turtle or something
<h0ax> turtles are KNOWN for being slow
<Jace> god this computer is running like a TURTLE FINE HA
<h0ax> but then.. it did beat the hare..
<Jace> god this computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> no, they're fast, usually. except against turtles.
<mole-inc> god this computer is running like a crippled ant.
<Jace> god this computer is running like a turtle unless competing against a hare in which case the computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> you know you could just say it's running slow.
<Jace> oh yeh
<Jace> could do that... i guess...

And it's wrong, but i lolled:

<@blaxthos> let me tell you what
<rambo_> what is what?
<@blaxthos> there were these two israeli bitches in my club tonight
<@blaxthos> that were fucking insane hot
<rambo_> jews are hot.
<@blaxthos> these jews were exceptionally hot
<rambo_> fresh from the oven hot?

[Canadave]

I love bash.org. Such a distracting site...

[RJDiogenes]

I wonder what bloodninja's TrekBBS name is....


The_Reaper, please don't Post more than twice in a row-- that's considered Spamming under Board Rules. Thank you.

[The_Reaper]

Leaning a lot today I am. Apologies

[XwarlokX]

I am a certified Bash addict! I have to read the site at least 2 or 3 times a day.

Bash is t3h awesome!

[RJDiogenes]

The_Reaper wrote:

---

Leaning a lot today I am. Apologies

No problem. It takes a while to learn the ropes.

[Rii]

Most of bash.org is pure shite, even the high-rated stuff, but there are a few gems to be found. One of my favourites:

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

[jongredic]

LOL Thanks for posting those links. Brought back memories of old skool IRC.

My favourite so far has got to be the Who's On First conversation:

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization