Deep Space Nine Caption Contest 93: Garak. Plain, Simple, Garak.

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine' started by Smellincoffee, May 12, 2014.

  1. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    With foes, friends, and those in-between Bajorans out of the way, we're finally getting to the regular cast. Mr. Garak is in a class by himself, but first -- winners!

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    And now, continuing on the countdown to 100....Garak, plain and simple.


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  2. Admiral Bear

    Admiral Bear Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Permanent away mission with the fairies
    Kira: And if could just remember what my next line was. . . .

    Garak: Cut! Visitor to Ore Processing!

    Damar: Thank God we don't have One Take Frakes directing this scene!

    Kira: Shut it, Casey. The only dialogue you have in the last two episodes is "Free Cardassia".

    Damar: I know, but I'll deliver them with such aplomb, my death scene will have Dorn crying in to his prune juice. I'm an actooooor, don't you know.
     
  3. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

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    GARAK: And don't worry Doctor, I'm not bisexual anymore. The writers put a stop to that.

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    GARAK: The Klingons can see our blasters. I don't know why they keep charging us with bat'leths. Haven't they seen Raiders Of The Lost Ark?
    DUKAT: Intelligence is without honor.

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    BASHIR: Actually it's okay if this character dies.
    GARAK: But if she dies, Dax will... This is what the character usually looks like, isn't it?

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    GARAK: She's the only other Cardassian on the station. But she's a teenager. Must think of way to do this without it being creepy...must think...GGHH!
    ZIYAL: Garak, are you having a stroke?

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    KIRA: We need to be stealthy, strike hard and fast then disappear into the shadows.
    RUSOT: NO! We must fight like Cardassians, charge them head on!
    DAMAR: *sigh* Why is everybody I like so stupid and everybody I hate so smart?
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    BASHIR: I forget, what's your wildly inappropriate, sexually suggestive name in this program?

    DAX: Honey Bare....wait, what?
     
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Dukat: (stab) And THAT's for drinking all my Kanar!

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    Dax: Okay, gentlemen, which one of you wants to start your physical examination?

    Bashir: I believe that would be me, Doctor.

    Dax: Okay then, but I should warn you, the exam will actually be given by a seven-foot-tall Nausicaan.

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    Garak: ...I did not!

    Ziyal: Yes you did. I'll have to reprogram the food replicators not to serve...what did the humans call it...three-bean salad?

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    Kira: No wait, I get it. They traced the call, and it's coming from INSIDE the house?
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    BASHIR: And this blue drink will eliminate our gay sexual tensions for the next hours...
    GARAK: So we'll need to buy another bottle each time we're together? Why don't we just sleep together once and stay good friend after?
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    KIRA: We're going to need codenames for this mission. Let's see...You're Moe, he's Curly and you're Larry.
     
  8. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Kira to Rusot: GOT IT - you're also Neroon from Babylon 5.
     
  9. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    KIRA: Wait, I'm wearing a Starfleet uniform, I'm not dressed as a poor oppressed Bajoran, you'll not have fun....
    GARAK: She's right...we will make her wear typical Bajoran clothes and then....
     
  10. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Garak: Brrraaaaaiiiinnnnsss...
     
  11. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Damar and Rusot were not terribly amused by Garak's attempt at ventriloquism using a Kira-puppet.
     
  12. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Garak (after Dax inadvertently stumbles in on him in the holosuite): I assure you, Commander, this is not what it looks like.
    Dax: It looks like you alone with a tied up hologram of Julian missing his pants.
    Garak: In that case I suppose it is what it looks like.
     
  13. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    Kira: It's a FAAAAAAAAAKE!
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    AI Generated Madness
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    GARAK: It got weird, didn't it?

    ZIYAL: Yes.

    GARAK: Yeah. Right. I knew it.
     
  15. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Thanks for the wins! :bolian:

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    Garak: It really doesn't matter Doctor, with those ears, Quark will hear our conversation even if we have it in the Gamma Quadrant.

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    Garak: I find this hand to hand combat really quite distasteful!

    Dukat: Yeah, me too. Little help?

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    Bashir: Bashir, Julian Bashir.

    Computer: Cheat code accepted. All objects and characters in this program will now bend to your will.

    Bashir: Garak, get lost.

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    Garak: Where are we going?

    Ziyal: Well, based on this storyline, Law & Order SVU.

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    Rusot, Damar and Garak: (singing) How can there be any sin in sincere? Where is the good in goodbye?

    Kira: Right here. Good bye. One to beam up.

    (Kira beams out)
     
  16. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kira: "Hey, wait! You guys are those 'Cardassians' I keep hearing about, aren't you?"
     
  17. phenyx2

    phenyx2 Lieutenant Red Shirt

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  18. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  19. milquetoast

    milquetoast Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    home
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    Garak: Oh! Choose me Julian, Choose me!



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    Kira: I'm going to take this finger and stick it right up your scaled Cardassian ass and your going to enjoy it!
     
  20. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Despite having the best song they failed to win the Barber Shop Quartet competition because there were only three of them!

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    Dukat: You know, if you used a good conditioner it would be much easier to comb these tangles out!

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    Bashir: But she told me she was a doctor and this was the best way to treat my ingrowing toenail

    Garak: Julian, you do know that you can just buy a lab coat don't you?

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    Garak: So lets try this again. When it rains?

    Ziyal: You stay in and I go out.

    Garak: When it is sunny?

    Ziyal: I stay in and you go out.

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    Kira: Go on...pull my finger