I often laugh when I'm angry, which really undermines me. I will be cracking up and also be saying "No, I mean it, I'm really angry!" Also people this doesn't have to be advice. It can be a recommendation of any sort.
^Unfortunately, I cry when I get angry. I actually hardly ever get angry. It's so rare, in fact that I the last time was when I lost my old job. I am better at hiding it than Larry David, though! Way to take my advice and be way more eloquent and pithy than me, bitch!
Well I meant people important to you, people you know. I've been socialising a lot more this year and been getting a lot of hugs, it's made a very shitty year a lot more bearable.
I've gone literally years without meaningful physical contact with other people; the urge to get a hug, or just someone touching you, is so powerful.
Be nice to those you work with, or work under you. You never know when they might be your boss one day. Never compose and send texts/emails when intoxicated (though you probably won't remember anyway). Or in anger. Always wait and read again.
Call any vegetable; call it by name. You've got to call one today, when you get off the train. Call any vegetable, and the chances are good that the vegetable will respond to you.
You may get a tickle at the back of your throat. You may even have a cold, but don't, whatever you do, cough. Especially when you're about to visit your girlfriend.
When the aliens do arrive you will not be prepared. Even if you have spent half your adolescence and adult life slumped in front of dramatic tales beginning with the word "star" your mind is still going to shut down when escapist fiction becomes hardcore political reality. So you need to prepare NOW. First off you need to take a page from the Mormons and get yourself a year supply of water and food and candles and batteries and stuff. However we really don't know if remaining in our homes is going to be an option so resist any Martha Stewart impulses about prettily arranging canned goods with little labels on them. Pack this stuff into protected sealed containers with the most accessible containers containing your core road trip plan. You will need primarily protein and fresh water, matches, flashlights with long life batteries and a CB radio in your core road trip containers. Your car should have ultra light weight Everest standard sleeping bags in it at all times and an advanced first aid kit. Make sure you know how to use the latter. Though obviously we hope it doesn't come to this you must at all times have road trip plans, maps and an understanding of all potential escape routes. Some may choose to simply leave at the first announcement of alien contact and if you live in a heavily populated urban area you may like to consider this, to avoid a panicked population should leaving become necessary. You can always go back if it turns out to be (highly unlikely) a wonderful development for the planet earth. Don't forget to replace your water supply with fresh water when needed. Have a list of all your goods, what container they are in and what their use by date is. Have your car's tank full at all times, never arrive home without having topped your tank to the top at the nearest station. Same goes for oil and car maintenance. The highlighted sentence is the one recommendation and the rest of it is the details. Just in case someone thinks this is more than one recommendation. It's some how to for the recommendation.
I would recommend we take teacake's recommendation seriously...but then I already used up my recommendation.
My recommendation (for today): Try Fenton's Creamery if you happen to be around SF Bay Area/California. Order the crab melt and try one of their store-made ice cream flavors. They'll even give you a tour if you make arrangements in advance. Truly superb.