We have similar deaths in our house. First it was Blue Teddy who disappeared one day, never to return. Currently Rattly Teddy is getting a serious kicking every night and draught excluder snake has been eviscerated along the hall. I came home to snake entrails just like Mr Happy's last night.
I would, but I'm not convinced the whole "blame it on the dog" thing isn't actually a cover story for something more sordid...
Looks around. Penis joke made. Check. Impotence joke made. Check. Nothing for me to do here. Quietly leaves.