Movie Caption Contest #155: Pompous and Circumstance

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies I-X' started by Rat Boy, Aug 7, 2010.

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  1. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    Will you stop doing whatever it is you're doing in that box, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's try not to bruise the egos of...

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    For broken promises, our winner is...

    And for our proud new dad coming up for a little air, our winner is...

    For novelties that wear off quickly, our winner is...

    And for figuring out the winning formula, our winner is...

    Congratulations to the winners (and especially Candlelight, who in the future might have to explain what nude jumping jacks and bath house bridges are if he's not careful). This week, we have Morrow trying to keep secret the fact that he's giving Kirk command of the Excelsior after the Enterprise is decommissioned contingent on the condition that he behaves himself. Next, Captain Styles is not a fan of the Batman-esque clothes changer on the Excelsior's turbolifts. And finally, Riker's starting to wonder about his captain's need to play dress-up. Caption smartly:

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  2. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Morrow: "Look, I'm getting sick of the Richard Pryor jokes. Yes, I free base and yes, I set myself on fire once. If you ever want a ship again, you'll stop..."

    Kirk: *hums melody of "Come On Baby Light My Fire"*

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    Styles: "This always happens whenever I'm on the shitter."

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    Riker: "What is that smell?"

    Picard: "Did I mention that this is a whaling vessel?"
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    Styles felt it was important to inform the crew of the status level of each bowl movement.


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    RIKER: The buggery sir?

    PICARD: Make it so.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
  4. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Morrow: In your absence, Genesis has become a Galactic Controversy.

    Kirk: Aren't you exaggerating Sir? We've barely been out of the Alpha Quadrant.

    Morrow: Okay, so it's mostly with this one Klingon Commander named Kruge, but don't worry about it, there's no chance you'll ever meet him.

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    Styles: Chase the Enterprise! Go to maximum speed!

    First Officer: Man I wish Sulu had gotten this job.

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    Picard: Number One, I have a bad feeling about leaving you in command of the Enterprise....
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    MORROW: So let me get this straight. You've managed to destroy one starship, cripple another, loose a valuable peice of technology, plus kill two captains and lord knows how many cadets?

    KIRK: Yep. Just another day at the office.
     
  6. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Styles: "Sorry for being late. Traffic was a bitch."
     
  7. Aragorn

    Aragorn Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    MORROW: "No, I'm not the guy from 21 Jump Street."

    KIRK: "Lethal Weapon?"

    MORROW: "No."

    UHURA: "The Last Dragon?"

    MORROW: "No."

    SULU: "You've Got Male Genitalia?"

    MORROW: No... what?"

    SULU: "What?"



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    STYLES (thinking): "Act calmly, straighten your uniform up. No one knows you were in your quarters watching You've Got Male Genitalia. Crap, did I check for stains?"



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    RIKER: "Are those naked pirate wenches over there?"

    PICARD: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have used one of Barclay's holodeck programs for this ceremony."
     
  8. Capt_Pickirk

    Capt_Pickirk Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Sunny ol' Blighty
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    Picard: What is the point of this scene??

    Riker: Shhh! or they'll give the movie to "Voyager"
     
  9. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

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    [​IMG]
    Kirk: Tell me how is that in 300 years the damn cheveron-mustache still hasn't gone out of style?! Are people still watching Magnum P.I. reruns around here?

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    Styles: You know, Starfleet really shouldn't have made that interior-design contract with Apple, these iBridges suck!

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    Riker: You know, your hat sort-of looks like an alien's vagina.
     
  10. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Riker: "Uh, Captain, I think the holodeck's broken again."

    Picard: "Oh, why?"

    Riker: "If I'm not mistaken, that's the cast of 'You've Got Male Genitalia' on that island over there."

    *Picard turns to Riker aghast*
     
  11. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Sulu: Uh-oh, it's Admiral Morrow, he's always so many steps behind the times.

    Morrow: Welcome back Admiral Kirk. I was saddened to hear of the losses you took on your mission.

    Kirk: Thank you Sir.

    Morrow:Will there be memorial services for Captain Decker and Lieutenant Ilia?

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    Styles: Did we buy this bridge at Ikea?

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    Riker: Bad food.... brutal discipline...

    Picard: Thank you for reminding me! Mister Worf, now that Commander Riker has effectively dunked you, I assign you to flog him today.

    Worf: Aye Captain!
     
  12. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    Morrow: I promise you Jim. If you can't get me one date with Uhura, you'll never captain a starship again.

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    Never fear, Captain Rectum is here!

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    Picard: I miss my old chaps.

    Riker: The ass-less ones?

    Picard: Were there any others?
     
  13. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Not to worry, commander. Most of the people who will see this movie won't be able to recognize the similarity.
     
  14. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Cadet: Damn, the captain's back... gotta log off Facebook before he sees...
     
  15. TeaKirk

    TeaKirk Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    My little realm of darkness and cookies
    How about Sulu?
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    Hill Street Blues theme plays.
     
  17. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Morrow: "Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old."

    Kirk: "Twenty? She's closer to forty, sir."

    Morrow: "Really? To tell you the truth, I thought she was a little young for scrapping a moment ago, but I guess now we're making the right decision."

    *Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, and Chekov face palm*

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    Styles: "Folks might want to stay out of the turbolift awhile. Mr. Scott left a present."

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    Picard: "You let the counselor take the helm?"

    Riker: "She'll do fine. Taught her everything I..." *CRASH!* "...know."

    Troi: "Oops!"
     
  18. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is 20 years old!

    KIRK: Forty, actually.

    But...hey. Who's counting, huh? Let's just forget about the crippled and deformed guy living on Talos IV why don't we?


    JERK.


    I'm gonna tell him you forgot him. You watch.


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    The U.S.S. Excelsior NX-2000.

    The first Federation starship built entirely out of old fan-film sets and iPads.

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    Picard suddenly realized the movie wasn't going to get much better.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  19. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is being decommissioned. I'm sorry. The decision is final.

    KIRK: But...but...

    my plans to go treasure hunting!!!
     
  20. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is 20 years old. We feel her day is done.

    KIRK: But you can't decommission the ship now! There's still four decks I haven't had sex with aliens on!!

    Give me a few days... tops...
     
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