"I, Mudd" Line-by-Line!

Spock: That is a human emotion of which I am totally unfamiliar. How could I be unhappy?

 

McCoy: Well, we found a whole world of minds that work just like yours. Logical, unemotional, completely pragmatic. And we poor, irrational humans whipped them in a fair fight. Now you'll find yourself back among us illogical humans again.

 

Spock: Which I find eminately satisfactory, Doctor. For nowhere am I so desperately needed as on a ship full of illogical humans.

 

KIRK: Touché, Bones.

 

MUDD: I've never heard of anything so revolting. We'll soon get to the bottom of this.

 

MUDD: Kirk, now what's this I hear about my having to stay here?

 

Kirk: Yes, Mudd, you've been paroled to the android population of this planet.

 

SPOCK: The androids are being reprogrammed. Their original purpose was to adapt this planet for productive use. They'll begin that work again.

 

MUDD: But what do I do? Kirk, I'm no scientist.

 

KIRK: No, you're an irritant. You'll stay here and provide a first-class example to the androids of a human failure. They'll learn by close observation how to avoid ones like you in the future.

 

Kirk: No, you're an irritant. You'll stay here and provide a first-class example to the androids of a human failure. They'll learn by close observation how to avoid ones like you in the future.

 

Mudd: How long?

 

KIRK: As long as you continue to be an irritant, Harry. It's up to you.

 

MUDD: I suppose that taking everything into consideration, as it were, and noting all the different possibilities, I could manage. And as detention sentences go, this one isn't too uncomfortable. And I'm back in the galaxy again.

 

Kirk: Yes, you are. Oh, there's one more thing, Harry. We've programmed a special android attendant to take care of your every need. She'll help you find an incentive to work with the androids and not exploit them

 

KIRK: Yes, you are. Oh, there's one more thing, Harry. We've programmed a special android attendant to take care of your every need. She'll help you find an incentive to work with the androids and not exploit them.

 

MUDD: I call that unexpectedly civil of you, Captain.

 

KIRK: Yes.

 

FIRST STELLA: Harcourt! Harcourt Fenton Mudd, what have you been up to? Have you been drinking again? You answer me!

 

MUDD: Shut up!