TOS Caption Contest #273: A Piece of the Caption

Kirk: "This is the book the Horizon left here? That's odd...because Earth ships back then usually didn't have room to carry actual printed books. They normally relied on computer tapes."
Oxmyx: "You got no sense of style, Kirk!"

 

Bela: "Hey, be careful opening that book."
Kirk: "No problem, I realize it's something you consider sacred. I'll be careful."
Bela: "No, what I mean is that bookmark can easily fall out and God forbid if I'd have to start all over again!"

 

OKMYX: Maybe you Feds can answer a question that's been bugging us for Centuries.

KIRK: Sure.

OKMYX: Who the hell is "Mayweather"?

 

Kirk: "Who is this JJ Abrams?"

Bela: "Hey, now you're treading into Sacred ground."

 

SPOCK: Screw the IDIC! This here is some serious BA-LING! I just need to find me a decent chain so that I can hang this fine piece of ass-whooping 'round my neck!

McCoy: It's a microphone, Spock.

SPOCK: *ahem*

 

KIRK: So, what is this book?

OXMYX: This book, Kirk? This my scrapbook where I keep all those naked pictures of your mom. Now stop wasting my time!

 

Bela: "What the... oh, for crying out loud."
Kirk: "What?"
Bela: "I mean, what kinda fella goes around pulling out other people's bookmarks? HUH?"

 

BELA: Gimme a break, Kirk. It was this or "Twilight"!

 

William Shatner: Another technical manual? I thought I told you, "Get a life!"

Anthony Caruso: I did! But this isn't my life. William Shatner, this is your life!

*applause*

*and laughter*

 

Oxmyx: I keep tellin' ya's, this ain't no Italian restaurant! We only got lo mein an' egg rolls an' shit!

Bones: About this number fourteen, instead of tofu -

Oxmyx: No Substitutions! Get da fug outta heah!




Kirk: Spock, you soften 'em up with some DeNiro, then Bones, you psych 'em out with some Brando.

Spock: And you, Captain?

Kirk: And I then go all Joe Pesci up in here.





Spock: Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away...

Bones: A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh....




Whaddya mean, there's no secretary, no yeoman, no nothin'?? And you call this business?




Come on, Bones, just one round of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots before the shift starts.

 

Oxmyx: "It's a Sears and Roebuck catalog. I thought maybe you gents would like to order some nice suits, instead of runnin' around in yer friggin' pajamas all day!"

 

Oxmyx: Oh, and I booked marked the ladies lingerie section...in case ya gets "bored"

 

Spock: "Fascinating. Captain, if we do indeed order some suits to better blend in with the locals, please stick to ordering male undergarments, at least for myself."

 

Oxmyx: "In that case, does Mr. Spock here need boxers with two fly openings?"
Kirk, McCoy and Spock: "That's a myth!"

 

Oxmyx: See this?
Kirk: The Book Chicago Mobs of the Twenties?
Oxmyx: No. My invisible dancing parakeet Num Nums.

 

New Contest is up!