Beauty and the Beast is Awful.

Paul Ryan is now considered "some old guy"?

Great. Now I really feel old.

 

Consider the CW audience.

Kristin is the crone matriarch godmother guardian of the mists of ancient times.

 

He's not trolling anything, and he likes plenty of new shows and films, it's just that, as with anything, most of them are crap. I, for one, am grateful to Guy for serving as our canary in a coal mine for shitty Fall TV shows (especially the ones I didn't bother to check out myself). Plus, even if you disagree with his opinion on the show, he helpfully starts a thread to discuss it which probably wouldn't have been started without him for a lot of the more obscure series, and he discusses it in his amusing, offbeat way.

Unfortunately, since I was a fan of the original Beauty and Beast series, I decided to give this one a chance despite how bad it looked, so Guy wasn't able to take the bullet for me on this one, and I took a full on gut-shot with a painful 42-minute slide toward inevitable death as the bile built up inside me. It was a godawful show, is the basic point I'm trying to convey there. I'd agree with the "F" grade posted above.

First of all, if you're gonna do a show about a beast, commit to it. Don't get some male model, give him a scar that just makes him look like a slightly mysterious soap opera character who's probably someone's evil twin, and then call it a day. You can't have a pretty looking beast. Ron Perlman is a scary looking dude, even without all the makeup that turned him into the love child of Chewbacca and the Cowardly Lion. Nicest guy ever, but he has a face that says "don't fuck with me." The guy in this show just makes me wonder if he's a rival of Edward and Jacob. He's hiding out simply because people might recognize him from before he faked his death, not because "Holy shit, did you see that horrifying sewer monster's face?!" Aside from when he occasionally loses control he could walk down the street without attracting much notice, except from women and gay men checking him out.

Besides that, Kristen Kreuk is gorgeous but neither a good actress or a believable NYPD detective, the rest of the cast is utterly forgettable, and the secret government lab creating barely restrained supersoldiers with genetic tampering plot might as well be called The Beast Identity or Dark Animal or any one of dozens of TV shows and movies that have followed this plot before. It would be one thing if it brought anything new or interesting to the table, but it doesn't even try.

 

I saw the thread title and clicked on the link totally intent on flaming the crap out of Guy Gardener. And then I actually read the thread and am totally confused.

They're remaking Beauty and the Beast? What the hell is this crap?

 

Hopefully, you'll never have to find out.

So you thought that you were going to be defending the original show from the 80s, from me?

So, a day later after first run, no one is going to defend Beauty and the Beast?

 

I'm very easy to please when it comes to TV and movies, but even I didn't waste my time with this. It takes a lot for me to have no interest in a Sci-Fi or Fantasy show, and the previews alone were enough to turn me off of this. Like someone said upthread, if the show is called Beauty and The Beast, actually make you're Beast beastly. I know this is The CW so they want to keep some sex appeal, but there had to be a way to make him look inhuman without totally covering up his looks.

 

George R. R. Martin wrote for the original series and didn't write for this one. Need anything else be said?

 

He also wrote A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons.

 

That's sort of random isn't it? I mean he's written loads of books.

 

I was implying that those books were terrible.

 

No, you weren't.

 

I really should watch this movie again.

Now Marty, god bless his soul, could have played a great Beast.

 

Yes, he did. Well written books.

 

I caught about 3 minutes, and laughed my ass off at the sight of Kreuk walking around with a detective badge.

She still looks about 16, for christ's sake.

 

^Yeah, I couldn't really buy her as a police detective at all. Seems much too young for the character. Overall, the pilot was meh and I won't be tuning in again.

 

Guy Gardener needs to watch the entire series while it is on so we don't have to.

 

Hey! That's attempted murder!

I know I'm not beloved around here, but pleeeeeeeease.

Although, I am going to watch it all.

I have made some rash decisions about some good shows in my time.

Dark Angel, Stargate, Bones and Supernatural come to mind.

**Grummble**

Joel McHale on the Soup panned beauty and the beast...

"HEY CW! What's the big deal about remaking beauty and the beast with out Ron Pearlman!? WTF?"

The Soup makes me happy.

 

Whenever I see Ron Perlman's name I immediately think of the magnificently grotesque Salvatore in The Name of the Rose. That's the first time I ever became aware of him and he was amazing.

 

He's our generation's Lon Chaney. (Okay, so he doesn't actually do his own make-up, but he certainly injects an element of humanity into the roles that require elaborate appliances.)

Sincerely,

Bill

 

Kristin Kreuk is too tiny to buy as a cop. The murder mystery was weak. The show should've been called Beauty and the Hulk. The guy was more Hulk than Beast.